Too scared to open up but always hurt when I let someone in ?

i tend to not open up to people and find myself creating this image that everything is OK because I'm too scared to open up. on the other hand though, the few times I have been completely honest and open shortly after the person will just leave and it makes me feel abandoned and stupid for believing that they cared, but I go on pretending that everything is OK.

They leave if I open up to much because they either get annoyed with my personality, get scared off or say that I need to open up even more which really hurts me because already letting them in is really difficult for me and their are things that I could just never say because I don't want anyone else to know.

this problem has ended friendships for me and I feel that it is stopping me from finding a relationship. what can I do ?

Updates:
i have a lot of secrets and feel alone because I feel like I can't tell them to anyone

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Depends on how you act yourself. I have opened up to girls the same way and they just flew away without any notification. They got bored. On the other hand when I do not tell anything at all, they get annoyed.

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What Guys Said 1

  • well that does sound like a tough situation and I'll try to give you the best advice although I don't have all the details so I'll do the best with what I got. For a truly successful relationship there needs to be at least some kind of openness but the key is how much. I would say just start slow and as your realtionship builds open up more but its important in a relationship to know the other person as much as possible but there are certain aspects I don't believe that everyone needs to know but then again if someone can't except everything about you or at least most things then it may not be an important relationship worth worring about

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What Girls Said 1

  • aww babe I am going through sort of the same thing so I don't know if my advice is the best. I told a guy I had an eating disorder and I opened up to him a lotttt. a few weeks after that he basically stopped talking to me and has a girlfriend now. every time I see him he pretends likke he doesn't know me. really messed up.

    i don't really know what to say but I can relate to you. the people that leave you when you open up to them do NOT deserve you and you are better off without them. if these few that do not like you when you show who you really are and open up to them, they do not deserve to be with you.

    i agree with the other comment that said you should try to start slow and open up as your relationship grows.

    good luck babe :)

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