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I remember once I had a separation period with my girlfriend, telling her that I wasn't mature enough to handle the relationship we were in when in actual reality, I wanted to have alone time after everything I had going on at home and school. In this sense, I'd say it was mostly an excuse to run away from the responsibilities of the relationship so I could do more of what I wanted. This wouldn't have been a problem if I had communicated with my girlfriend beforehand about how I felt instead of rushing into the conclusion of ending the relationship and just being done with it. I got really depressed from it and 4 months later, came back to her house with an apology letter and an emotional conversation. I often feel like people that break up because of something they did means they are either insecure about themselves, aren't willing to compromise, feel there is no chemistry in the relationship or believe the relationship is in turmoil and can't be fixed.
My ex was very insecure about herself, and I wonder if that led to our downfall. She said she was overwhelmed and just felt she could t handle being in a relationship because of other issues.
She could have communicated with you about how she felt in order to prevent the relationship from falling apart. Sometimes, a person's low self-esteem or insecurities can break them as an individual as they would feel unworthy to be with anyone around them. If it was other issues that made her feel this way, you could have told her that you are there if she needed help or any assistance from you. It doesn't sound like she broke up with you because she was either uninterested or found someone else but still, this breaks my heart when someone throws in the towel without trying to make the relationship better or giving a good and mature explanation for the breakup.
Amen to that bro. She's a sweet girl too. We still talk, but she's just not in a place where she can or should be in a relationship, and it kills me cause I love her
If you believe you two can work something out one day, just be patient with her until she gains confidence in herself. That way, when you're both ready, try to pop the question once again! Something happened in her life to make her weak emotionally and mentally like this. Until she solves that problem, I don't think she'll ever have the energy and confidence to pursue a relationship she wants. It must be hurting you inside that there's only so much you can do to help someone so caring like that.
You read my mind man. I wish I could help her
Just continue to offer a helping hand whenever she's in trouble or wants to talk because while in her mind she may feel like she doesn't deserve it, she'll love the fact that you never gave up on her and that you are still trying your best to keep the friendship alive, in hoping it'll become a relationship once more.
Thanks man. So do you think I should only contact her if she contacts me first?
You're very welcome! You can contact her whenever you feel like it as long as she's in the mood to talk. If she does get annoyed though, give her space and she'll come back to you!
Well basically yeah. Sometimes a person can be great. Pleasant personality, good looks etc but the spark is not there. The chemistry is just not there. There is no attraction. Then it really is simply not the other person but rather missiny attraction. With that said, i have never phrased it that way.
She's recovering from years of substance abuse, which is something I can relate to as I had a drinking problem. She said that she's feelings all sorts of emotions she used to numb and it's confusing. We had talked about moving in together and her friend confided in me that the idea scared her. She told me I didn't do anything wrong, but that she needs to be single right now to figure out herself, as she's always been in a relationship. I'm sure part of that is she wants to play the field which I can understand. I'm just not sure what to do. As a person I think it's natural to assume that if somebody breaks up with you, you did something wrong. I don't know I think maybe I was too nice to her
The problem is most of the time that feeling just isn't there. You see someone as more of a friend than a lover. You enjoy them and their company but the romance just isn't there. I doubt it is because you are "too nice". People dont leave the love of their life because they are too nice. They leave because they no longer feel in love.
I don't know which of those possibilities makes me feel better haha
Just remember most people have been left at some point in their life AND it is never really your loss. You now have the chance to meet someone whom truly loves and values you and who you are compatible with.
My last ex boyfriend. Well technically it was him too but I also just felt that I wasn’t attracted to him. Eventually he wouldn’t let go so I got back with him and then broke up again just telling him this isn’t the relationship I’m looking for and I’m not happy. He threatened to resort to anorexia and kill himself. I didn’t let him but I stuck with him as a friend until he finally decided on his own that being with me wasn’t healthy for him. I never let him back into my life again after.
When people say that they don't have a real reason for getting out they just want out of the relationship. Cowards way out. So they don't hurt your feelings.
Yes. That's always my explanation. It always is me, I don't love them and treat them poorly so I break up with them. I've recognized this about myself and now I am very hesitant to get into relationships because of it.
Several times. It usually was never, now it's more them than me.
So you're saying beforehand in your relationships it was "you" but now that you've grown you e found in your new relationships when they end its "them"?
I have never dumped a girl before, all my past relationships either broke up mutually or for reasons that neither one of us could do anything about...
I have once - I had to say it was me, (when it was really him 😑) because I broke things off on Valentine's day and I really don't like confronting situations..
So you didn't really mean it then... lol
I have never been in a relationship. I would like to be... lol
No, I said "it's not me, it's you".
Hell no I just tell a bitch I'm done
I did lol
Could you explain why? Or like, what made you come to the conclusion you shouldn't be in a relationship?
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