Is there ever any chance to rekindle things with my ex boyfriend?

After four years together, He and I broke up around 2 weeks ago, but he was frantic to keep contact with me saying he wanted to be friends didn’t want to live without me. We kept talking for a while, hanging out, and even stayed a night together. We were broken up for about 4-5 days when I saw texts on his phone to his friend that were loving and as sweet as he used to talk to me. I felt devastated because I felt my hopes where he was returning were gone. He told me he was attempting to fall for her so he could move on. I was so broken, that I ended up sleeping with a guy friend in my area. I haven’t regretted anything more now in my life.

Upon hearing this, my ex flipped out. He said he could never be with me again and never see me the same and that we were over forever and he didn’t love me. I never meant to hurt him and both of us drifted into the no contact zone. It was absolutely killer. He blocked me on Instagram but continues following my sister and friends. My anxiety from not having him around spiraled out of control. The best thing I thought I could do was write him a letter.

A day or so ago, I met with his sister who gave me advice and hope. She said he was really really hurt and was saying he was done, but that it’s all in the heat of the moment right now. She told me she would give him the letters I wrote.

Last night, he texted me to tell me he received the letters and that they made him cry. He said He was sorry he hurt me, but he didn’t think he could see me again or look at me and that I should work on moving on. After a long conversation of telling him how much I regretted what I had done, he had agreed that I could text him occasionally and that we could be friends. As far as our texts went, he kept saying, “I don’t think I could accept you in my house again, I don’t think I could ever look you in the eye again, it was not the right decision, now you lost me forever 😔,” etc.

im happy to be friends, but my heart is broken. I need hope.
1 y
So, currently he’s unblocked me on Instagram. He told me that he really really really misses me and our relationship, but says he can never go back because of what I did. We didn’t talk yesterday, and we’re back talking today occasionally. If he misses me as much as he says, and I miss him, I feel like things could be fixed, but it’s still all so confusing. Having no contact with him is so much harder. 🙄
Is there ever any chance to rekindle things with my ex boyfriend?
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