He wants me back.. what should I do?

So here it goes... I was dating this guy for about 6 or 7 months. He honestly was my first boyfriend and was 3 years older than me. I cared a lot about this guy, I lost my virginity to him, etc and he seemed to care a lot about me but was never committed towards me. He did things such as lying to me and telling me he had a birthday present for me when he didn't. He also made the relationship fit around his schedule because he claims he was "very busy" with school, which I was too. He also didn't like go around telling people we were dating and said we were casually dated whenever people asked him about it and I wasn't there. I really think this kid may have emotional problems. Anyway, he broke up with me about 4 months ago and I was devastated, but I also realized I was never completely happy in the relationship so this made it easier to get over him. I deleted him from facebook and cut off all contact and never really met up with him to talk things over because I felt he didn't deserve that and that would just make it harder on me. I've been doing really well now, I'm not dating anyone due to a very busy semester in school, but I'm meeting new people and have almost completely stopped thinking about him. I keep running into him when I am out the weekends and stuff, at bars and other places and he is always with the same friend. He keeps coming up to me at the bars and trying to talk to me and be all nice to me, telling me how awful he has been. He also recently sent my friend a message saying he needed to win me back.. My question is what makes a guy who you thought would never commit all of the sudden want you back? and what should you do about it? I hate that I keep running into him because he always tries to talk to me and spend time with me when he sees me, telling me how he feels like he's such an ass and this makes it harder for me to move on completely, if that is what I should do


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well most of the reasons why people want back their ex is usually because they feel rejected. So it's that, "wanting something you can't have" theory. For example, you can throw a string on the ground in front of a cat and it will do nothing with it (only because it is accessible) it isn't until you pick up the string, is what makes the cat chase after it. You are the string as long as you are not accessible to him, he wants you. But as soon as you drop your guard, it's gonna be the same story all over again.

    No only that, guys love knowing that they are the only dip stick that has made it into your tank, so to speak.

    You can do better, I know you can.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Maybe he realized how much he actually liked you? Or, more likely, he can't find anyone else.

    Do you like him and want to be back in a relationship with him? If the answer is no, just tell him you aren't and get him to back off. If yes, well it's pretty self-explanatory.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Ok, obviously I don't know exactly what is going on in his head, but I am 99% sure that he wants you back for completely selfish reasons. I'm not saying that he doesn't miss you specifically- you sound like a great girl, and I'm sure your attractive qualities are part of his motivation for wanting you back- but the MAJOR reason he's acting this way is because it makes him insecure to see you moving on. He may have expected you to get all depressed and sad for awhile, or even beg him to come back- and the fact that you haven't done these things make him think, "Wait, maybe I'm not God's gift to women after all." So he's coming back to get your validation and approval. He needs you to say, "Aaaw, you're not an ass, you're super amazing and I want you back and I've been dying without you," just so he can feel good about himself again. Look, someone who really cares about you would be glad that you are taking care of yourself and looking out for your best interests. Someone who cares about you would not be popping up uninvinited, messing around with your head and your emotions, and bringing you back down just when you start to feel good. My advice is to avoid him as much as you can and don't reward his behavior by giving him any further attention.

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