Why do people cheat and then try everything in their power to stay with their spouse?

ok we all know that their are guys and girls that cheat.. but why? that seems like a stupid question but this question is more for the people who have cheated on their girlfrend or boyfriend. i have this best friend who constantly cheats on her boyfriend but she claims she is deeply in love with him and i have my boyfriend who cheats on me.. the crazy thing is if all he wants to do is be free and sleep around why just won't he let me break up with him? every time i break up he keeps telling me how much he loves me and wants me to be his wife and he won't do it again and blah, blah, blah... the thing is i'm so confused.. you want to have freedom and f*** everygirl in the world but you also want to be in a serious relationship.. it doesn't make sense. can someone please, whos been in this particular situation explain whats the whole point... and if you have an idea why plaese tell me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Fucking a random chick: Usually based on attraction

    Having a serious relationship: No attraction, only rapport.

    Think about it - Most relationships start with a feeling of attraction.. That "falling from a plane" feeling. After a while of dating, people get used to that feeling as a bubble of comfort, otherwise they feel the same instincts which aren't being fulfilled otherwise.

    Relationships on the other hand are about Rapport, NOT attraction. Everything that was once "fun and games" has suddenly become serious. Keep in mind that there are several relationships which have both attraction and rapport - but I'm talking about the average of my own relationships, in order to help you understand.

    In the typical relationship - Rapport is present but attraction is not.

    In the typical "f*** buddy" - Attraction is present and Rapport can build.

    So if you think about it - there are more windows of opportunity with that of a new person.. But there are more memorable moments with that of your significant other.

    Either way - I hate cheaters, I'll never be a cheater; but if I were you.. I'd suggest dumping him.. Rudely, bluntly, honestly, etc.. The thing about it - is that you aren't being yourself by staying with this guy.. Your saying: "Oh but he loves me".. Which is making you think he's going to change.. For every time he's made you think he's GOING to change - has he ever? (Strictly speaking of him cheating)

    Good luck,

    ~ ArtistBBoy


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What Guys Said 2

  • Because they want the chase and the gratification the chase results in but they also want a sure thing. They want to know they can have sex anytime they want.

  • why do you befriend someone who does that, why do you have a relationship with someone who does that to you? if you tolerate it, then you're no different then the person cheating...think about it as if you've accepted it as a social norm and history of human evolution...if you really want to break with that trend or bad habit, then don't become a part of that social stigma that accepts it like you already do being a friend to someone that does it, more or less having a boyfriend that does it as well


What Girls Said 3

  • How do people say they love someone but when they are gone turn around and cheat on them?

  • Cause they are selfish and want the best of both worlds

  • People cheat 'cause:

    they're not being fulfilled in their primary relationship

    they've been cheated on, so to get revenge

    they want to feel the thrill of the conquest of a new thing again

    they've lost interest in their significant other, or vice-versa

    they're dogs, wired that way

    People try to stay in their relationships after they've cheated 'cause:

    the new fling doesn't sustain or fulfill them

    they're comfortable in the old relationship

    the grass is not as green as they thought it would be

    they're controlling & want to cheat on you, but also want you to always be there for them (have their cake & eat it, too)

    Any combination of any of these reasons because its complicated, we are human.

    I've been on all sides of this scenario at various times in my life...


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