Is it possible ton instantly get over someone after a breakup?

I was with this guys from a very young age about 14/15 I would say and things only ended now and I’m 17. He loved me a lot so did I. We broke up due to the fact that we thought we were both moving. After the breakup I was in a really bad space, because of losing him, barely even having electricity or food due to financial reasons, parents forcing religion on me etc... So this guy who I was best friends with after the breakup comforted me and pressured me into sending him sexy pics. I did but they didn’t have my face on them and I wasn’t nude. Big mistake. But I was so naive back then. Turns out neither me and my ex had to move and we wanted to date again. When he found out he treated me like a whore and said that he doesn’t even care about me etc... keep in mind that he was texting like 20 girls and flirting with them and I only did with one guy and we were broken up. We dated on and off for years after that and I never cheated or anything, I worked my ass off to support him financially and emotionally during his mom’s death. But all he would do is try to tear me down emotionally, humiliate me etc... he would break up with me and then comeback and it went on like this forever even though I did so much for him and he treated me like shit. I would always get black mailed by people receive threats and insults by fake accounts. Today he admitted that it was him and his friends, he would sent his friends my personal pics (not nude just underwear and no face) and texts and they were the ones threatening and black mailing me. He went out with me in order to have is revenge for the thing I did when we’re not together and he did bah for a year and a half. The love I had for him was disappearing little by little over the course of a few months but now I believe it’s all gone is that possible? I used to love him with my entire being

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Most Helpful Guy

  • First I'm sorry for your loss and the fact your parents were preaching the voodoo. My guess is that this is your first real breakup. For guys the breakup has to be final at some point. He hit that point and he is using the indiscretion you used as an excuse to finalize everything. Being poor sucks, i didn't have ac until i moved into my own place and regular soups of broth with a few veggies was a normal meal. He may see you as a long term liability. This is what i want to see you do. Make him regret it. Finish your education in something that makes real money, STEM fields. He will come back around eventually. Turn him away every time he comes around. Don't friend zone, banish him. Next learn from my grandmother "nothing gets you over the last one like getting under the next one". In other words find someone new that has potential. Not just financial but emotionally supportive. Then live by these rules don't get married until you both can afford it. Don't have kids until you can afford it. Live as debt free as possible. Never be afraid to cry or say no to anyone.

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    • This helped me soo much, thank you!

    • You are welcome. I'd like to help you more if i can. Feel free to ask me anything and I'll do what i can for you

Most Helpful Girl

  • OMG that's terrible, I'm so sorry, I can't even imagine, or I actually i can. He's a dick okay, and trust me you're not a whore okay. Wow I'm still shocked, it literally sounds like a something from a book. But personally I haven't had a lot of "serious" relationships, but from the closest I've had, I told myself I was over the guy but in reality I wasn't. But after a looong time, I without noticing slowly godt over him, and instead of getting nervous every time talking/texting him, I didn't feel anything. So I would say from what I've tried (wich isn't much) It probably will take some time for some people, but then again it depends on how we greaf or whatever it's called.

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What Guys Said 14

  • You can't get over it instantly, but you can learn from the process.
    Love yourself more than anyone else, love isn't this romanticised bullshit Hollywood sells you, its about first and foremost loving yourself, if you don't care for yourself, don't nurture and enrich yourself you have nothing, no value to offer to anyone.

    Being selfish is not bad, it makes you be a better version of you, makes you actually have self worth, self respect, integrity, dignity and overall value.

    If you're putting someone else before your own personal needs and you're willing to sell your ideals to please him then you should really reconsider your decisions in life and what you actually stand for, if you do stand for anything.

    Stop, grab a paper and write everything you wish for in a partner (like honesty, faithfulness, fun, sweetness, support, getting along with your family, etc etc), then write everything you can give him in return, does it look like a fair trade? Does the value you offer meet the expectations for what you want from him in return (and vice versa)?

    Best of luck, hope you wake up and come out of this stronger.

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  • If they really love you like they say they do, No. They won't move on quickly!

    It's been nearly two months since I split up with my ex girlfriend and I loved everything about her, I still do. But I still haven't moved on because I still have feelings for her and I just feel that if I were to get back out there, I'd be on the road to another failed relationship right now. However the worst thing that happened to me was that within a week of splitting up with me, she was already with someone else. You have no idea how much that kills you. The person who worshipped the ground my significant other walked on. Just for them to walk away from it so quickly. I felt she really loved me until the break. Now I feel that what was said to me was all just a lie and as if that's what she thought that that's what I wanted to hear.

    The point I'm trying to make is, my ex didn't really love me. But damn, I sure as heck loved her!

    But don't let this get you down. Do things that you enjoy doing, have fun. Let it be a hard lesson that not everyone speaks the truth and that some people say what you want to hear. True friends, family and lovers that are meant to be in your life will stick by you no matter what. Don't let this lesson harden your heart.

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  • At some point you should know that. some people stays in our heart not in life... and as u r only 17 so u have understand now... coz.. if it's gone take long time u will have different thinking nature from now onwards... And ya one thing is imp... that if u give urself to move on other new things... I bet u dear u will have great life and great love with someone other who is perfect for u...

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  • Depends on the person. Everyone processes grief in different ways and at different rates. It's also possible they were over the relationship a while ago and were just waiting for the right moment.

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  • If he really did those things to you then yes the love will fade
    Stop talking to him if he asks you back get a trusted friend to have your back
    incase he crosses the line again

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  • I loved somebody once, when we broke up I couldn't move on and tried to get back with her but I was so surprised that she was not even hurt a bit. That killed my love.

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  • Yes, it is, you can think to you'reself that you were fine before you met them, and you are fine after. Then you realize, you don't need him and you can find someone else.

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  • Yes but only if mentally you’ve been separating from them for the past month or so usually takes about 3 months per year spent on a relationship go get over them

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  • You need to forget about this person he does not love you if he did he would not have shared your personal pictures with his buddies. He is going out with you and I assume other things because just that he is using you he has no respect for you. You asked if the love you have for him is possible for it to be gone the answer is yes. You may just be going out with him because of memories that you have of your relationship that is not healthy. If you enjoy sending pictures of yourself just make sure that you pick the right people to send them to. My advice to you is to forget about this person and go on with your life find yourself somebody nice. Remember to always take care of number one first.

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  • i agree that the love is still probably there. that situation was so bad that you finally had enough. and honestly you deserve so much more! he’s a jerk for hurting you like that

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  • No you'll never get over it until you find out someone

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  • Yes he's a dick and not worth the time cut all ties block everything he has

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  • Run. Move on right now girl. Like wtf.

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  • ... What exactly is the question here.

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What Girls Said 4

  • That is an awful situation. I know exactly how you feel. The love probably is still there but he's hurt you so much it isn't worth digging it out of yourself again. You deserve better if that's the way he treats you.

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  • I don't think it's possible to get overva relationship instantly. But depends on time period. I was in a relationship for five-six years, I got over him in 6-7 months. So if you only dated for a year or few months, then instantly getting over is possible. 😀

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  • He never loved you. He is just a stupid f#ck and you dont need him. Move on and stop sending nudes. If a guy wants you. Then have sex and done.

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  • Sometimes

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