I am at a point where I just don't feel any joy, excitement and hope.
I have been dumped so many times, my heart got broken so many times, my eating disorder of 15 years is getting out of control, my grandmother died, my mother was diagnosed with cancer recently and I feel as though I don't deserve to live. To be honest, I am exhausted. So exhausted. Tired
I got into my last relationship with suicide in mind if it shatters again. I told myself, "Don't worry. You have the power to not suffer through abandonment again, be free, give it a chance and if it fails, jump off a building or something"
1 week after the breakup and no contact and I honestly don't have the energy to make it "just another hour, just another day, just another week"
It hurts to live, man. I don't know how to cope anymore.