Please give my advice?

Before 6 months I had a friend with benefits. I really loved him but in a friend way. I could really tell him everything he was like my best friend. We loved each other but at the time, he wanted to be in relationship with me, but I would get annoyed with him sometimes and I didn't want to be with him, sometimes I was really rude to him and when he sent me text that he loves me or that tipes of texts I was so rude and all I wrote him to that kind of texts was something like "ok" or "great for you". And he was very patient with me and my behaviour, but one day he got sick of that and he "broke up" with me. And first few months I was fine about it and i forgot about him, but as time was passing I ended up thinking about him like a lot, and now I really want to be back with him, and this is where I really fucked up my life : Before 2 months i sent him a text where I wrote him that I miss him that I fucked it all up and that I was sorry and all that stuff, and then he said that he doesen't want to have girlfriend at the time and that he thinks that he isn't good enough to have a girl, and then I brave him up and I told gim that the problem was in me and all that stuff and he was still sending me texts that he doesn't want a girl at the moment and that he will text me if he changes his mind. And guess what, I ended up falling apart because of him and his rejection, and he find a girl. So, my question for you guys is what sholud I do? I now that i fucked it all up by myself and all that stuff but I really want him back, even as a friend because I have so much trust in him. Please help me. And thanks for reading and sorry for my bad English ( in my country we don't use english).
Please give my advice?
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