Ex girlfriend makes it a point to tell me she's having fun, going out and being social... why?

My ex girlfriend of 4 months texts me few times a week and says she is partying, going out, busy till late. And when I say what's up, she says things like she is busy being social.

My question is why is she making this such an obvious point to me? Is there something more to it.. ? Please help guys & specially girls.. Thanks.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is a text-book scenario of wanting to make you jealous, I mean, you can see it from space. If she really didn't give a sh*t about the past, she'd have nothing to do with you, or just act as a casual acquaintance. Now, as for WHY she's trying to make you jealous, there are two reasons:

    1.) She f***ing wants you to burn in a hole and wants to make your life miserable

    2.) She wants to make you jealous so that you'll come back to her

    Now, of these two reasons, 2 seems more likely. So, what I would suggest, (assuming you really have no more feelings for her, which is what you're saying here), is that every time she tells you she's having fun, just act friendly. Say, "that's great! I'm glad you're having a good time. Nice you hear from you." Just be friendly. Don't try to one up her by saying, "you know, I'M doing this later blah blah blah." That's just what she wants. Just act like none the wiser and be nice. She'll eventually bore of trying to get your attention and move on with her life, as you have.

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    • Have to agree with Jackie. Your best move is to just respond calmly and even tell her you're happy for her. Just completely refuse to buy into her attempts to hook you in, and even turn it around on her a tiny bit by truly being pleasant in your responses. Regardless of which is the real reason for her doing it, that's your best response in any case.

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    • Oh, you still like her? Well, that's a different story. In that case, you'd do the complete opposite. Don't get me wrong, you'd still be nice and polite, but instead, NOW you'd act busy and say you're doing things later. Keep her guessing with things like that.

    • hey. so she texted out of the blue asking if I wanted to meet up and hang out. I said I'm busy for next few nights. Will keep her guessing. Will be polite and nice. But when I do end up hanging with her, how should I act and what should I do? Should I say how she made me feel bad and what I think she did was wrong or just suck it up forever ?

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • It's all in an attempt to send a clear message: She is unaffected by the break up, she is enjoying the single life and is managing well independently. She probably doesn't want you to think she is depressed or sitting by the phone waiting for you to call. In addition, it makes her 'appear' strong emotionally and mentally. I am not sure I totally 'buy' what she is saying because any break up will sting to an extent. However, I think this is what she wants to project.

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    • THanks. I still have strong feelings for her and want her back. So based on what she is saying to me..what should my feedback be. How should I act.. in order to get her back?

  • well it sounds like she's trying to make you jealous because she may still have feelings for you, and/or is not completly over the relationship...or then she's trying to make it a point to you that she will NOT be the ex who ends up sad and alone...But anywho if she was completely over you and the relationship she wouldn't feel the need to contact you and brag about her fabulous single life

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    • I also thank that she still has feelings for me. So what should my next move be? I don't think I should talk to her and tell her to get back together. Cause she's the type who backs away when I give attention to. Should I also say I am busy and going out and have plans etc.. Or is there some other method you suggest? Thanks..

What Guys Said 1

  • "Should I say how she made me feel bad and what I think she did was wrong"

    So you want her to think you're a little cry baby? What if you left a girl because you didn't think it was working out, just to go back to her and have her bitch and moan at you? It's in the past. Like I said, treat it like it didn't even phase you. Be cool. That's very attractive to women, a man who is cool and is just relaxed.

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    • thank you jackie. makes total sense

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