My Ex worked with the guy that she cheated on me with. I noticed a change in her when she started at this place, couldn't quite put my finger on it though. We had been having problems I suppose, I thought normal relationship problems. Anyways we'd been dating for 10 years, and living together for 3. Anyways,one day late at night she gets home at 5am, comes in the room and says she wants to break up. Later before I moved out, I found some emails that her and this guy had exchanged, it was pretty obvious they had a relationship(not sex) that was leading towards our break up. Anyways after I had moved out, I had to go back for some items, when I found some evidence that they had sex the day after I moved out. So I guess my question is would that be considered cheating? if you dump someone to go out with someone else ( like say the day after!)...I would think so. She claims even 11 months later that she didn't do anything wrong. I am not perfect by any means, but she claims that if I asked a million people they would all say its not cheating...so I am asking here what do you all think ? We both dispute many facts of our relationship, but the one thing that is not disputed by either of us, is that she dumped me for him, and that the emails exist because I have hard copies of them. Also that she slept with him a day after I moved out...to me these agreed upon facts to me spell CHEATING...or at the very least some wrong doing on her part. What do you all think?
Most Helpful Girl
As far as sex is concerned, if she truly only had sex with him the day after she broke up with you, it's not technically cheating---she ended things with you before becoming physical with him. I see it as better to break up with someone before you have sex with someone else than to have sex with someone else while you're in a relationship, but her behaviours (and her emails) are still shady and suggest that her break up with you may very well be related to her feelings for him. In that sense, I would say that she was at least emotionally cheating on you (being emotionally/romantically available to him in a way that she probably shouldn't be if she's in a relationship with you).
I generally follow three rules when it comes to a relationship:
1. If you wouldn't do it in front of your partner or tell them about it, don't do it.
2. If you think your partner would be hurt if you did it, don't do it.
3. If you wouldn't want your partner doing it, don't do it.
These rules don't just apply to physical acts, but also to how you interact with other people emotionally. If she had to keep the nature of her relationship with this guy secret because she thought that it might hurt you or you wouldn't like it, or if she wouldn't have wanted you to have a similar type of relationship with another girl while you were with her, then I see it as cheating.0