How do I not hate him and keep being his friend?

So this guy I work with is breaking my heart, I love him so much I want to cry when ever I look at him because he doesn't understand how much I love him and he doesn't love me back. I've never felt so strongly for someone before.

I know how it looks and sounds when you read my other questions but he is generally one of the sweetest guy's I've ever met, he has a heart of gold that why I fell in love with him in the first place but no one's perfect and he's a young man they're not known for making smart choices or thinking with their heads rather than their cock and he's said things he didn't mean because he was under pressure and put on the spot.

He's so prefect the only way I can stop my feelings for him is to hate him and think if all the bad things about him. He shows everyone around him so much love and care including me I feel evil. Today I kept making bitchy jokes about him and he asked me to pass him a water bottle and I by "accident" may have hit him in his delicate area and It made me feel better to see him hurt for once but I know he doesn't deserve it and I feel cruel but it's the only way I know how to push him away
How do I not hate him and keep being his friend?
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