I still don't get why he tries with me. What is it with this guy?

OK so I have this friend of whom I dated about 2 years ago. We had a long distance relationship that ended badly. Long story short, I went to visit him on Valentines day in 08 and we spent the first day together. The next morning, he left to go to church and he didn't return. So I got worried thinking something awful might have happened and the idiot dumps me over the phone & leaves me stranded 1000 miles away from home. Luckily, I know lots of people & hung out with a friend I hadn't seen in many years for the rest of my stay. We didn't talk for many months after that. I was heartbroken, needless to say. And I had never really gotten the opportunity to tell him all the things I held inside for all of those months. So one day I picked up the phone to call him to get the closure I needed. Well, that opened up a can of worms. He calls or texts @ least once a week & sometimes asks me if I would be receptive to starting over with him. I always tell him, no. I do not desire to have a relationship with him. But I always enjoyed his friendship. I still don't get why he tries with me though. Fellas, what are your thoughts on this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He is not worth your time and he will not stop trying to get you to do something your not wanting to do.

    Cut all contact. At most tell him something along "I do not want to speak to you anymore, please do not contact me". Delete his number, do not reply to any texts or calls, not even one. The sooner you quit responding, the sooner he stops trying.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Not sure why you'd even want to be friends after what he did and how closure hasn't ended up closed. He must have like it while it lasted but apparently is oblivious to the trauma he caused you or just doesn't care. Guys know persistence often works. The fact that you're apparently being friends again has him thinking your feelings are still there somewhere.

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  • You should not have contacted him, he thinks you still want some more...

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    • Hmmmm...thank you for that answer. When he tries to go there, I detour the conversation so I figured he knew exactly where I stood. Thank you for the male perspective.

What Girls Said 1

  • I say this is a guy with poor impulse control. The moment he decides enough is enough, he dumps you over the phone when he knows you are stranded in his town. Not cool.

    Then, when you try to gain closure by contacting him, he decides it would work for him to start over again. He is very focused on what he feels at the moment and runs with it.

    Just stand firm with what you want or you will likely just end up back on his roller coaster.

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