Why would he continue to talk to his ex if he knows it bothers me?

OK so me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 and a half years. We have not had the best relationship. He likes to text other people behind my back. Well, last night we shared an intimate time together and when we woke up this morning he started texting his ex. He says she's good for advice. He then text my best friend to see if I had fun last night and if I was happy! Why would he continue to talk to his ex if he knows it bothers me? Please help me out with this! I am so confused!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • A few of my exes still come to me for advice. It's really nothing more than that. I even remained really good friends with one of them. We didn't talk all the time, once he had a girlfriend we cut contact down to maybe once or twice a month. But he would come to me for advice as to what to do with his girlfriend, and I enjoyed helping him improve his situation. There was no talk other than what was going on in our lives and how we were doing. Just like any other friendship. His girlfriend didn't like the idea and told him to either stop talking to me, or she was going to leave. He of course stopped talking to me, and I lost out on someone I considered a really good friend. I understand why it bothered her, but if she honestly heard the content of our conversations she would have realized that she didn't have anything to worry about.

    Contact with exes can be a touchy subject, but it is not always what it appears to be. It hurt me to lose one of my truest friends because his girlfriend was insecure.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I think the problem is more you wanting to cut off his social life than him wanting to have one. If you have been together for two years he has shown he is capable of keeping it in his pants. You need to show some trust.

    Stop being needy and insecure these actions just destroy attraction and create strife in a relationship. He knows you don't want him to talk to his ex if you just let him alone and start practicing being content with what you have than you have a chance of him changing.

    If you push and push and push you will just make him hide things from you which makes it easy for him to cheat. If he is hiding a part of himself from you because you make him feel bad about it then when he finds someone who accepts that part of him that he has hidden that is when he will want to cheat on you.

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    • you shouldn't talk to exs anyway

    • That is totally irrelevant to the problems they are having and also a matter of opinion. I personally wouldn't date someone again who wanted me to pretend I don't have history. My past relationships have helped shape me into who I am today.

  • If my girl decided who I could and couldn't be friends with she would be an ex pretty quick. You're right to tell him and discuss it with him, but in the end if it bothers you that much you should probably part ways with him. But to try to make him chose between a friend and you is pretty cold if you ask me. If you trust him there is no reason to get worked up about it. If you don't trust him, why waste any more time with him?

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  • why are you with him for so long if its not a good relationship

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What Girls Said 4

  • well, I had this same situation, except my guy was hiding thier communication from me. First I said, you cannot hang out with her without me...he did...then I said that he can't talk to her unless he lets me know about it, afterward is fine, but I wanted to know what was going on...he didn't. So, when he made it obvious he didn't care about me not wanting him hanging out with her I told him I was done. That this is one of those things that hurts me and that I cannot trust him with and if he wants to pick her then I was gonna be out of the picture. We broke up for about a week and then he came back to me saying he was sorry, never talked to her again.

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  • He seems kind of sketch to me. I Don't text my exes, except the one's I'm really good friends with. If he's good friends, that's something, but if its just another ex, it'srude to do that. especially if you expressed that you didn't want him doing that, There needs to be more trust in the relationship.

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  • My ex was the same way. He would always say, it doesn't mean anything, we're just friends, and I trusted him. we were together for 4 years and engaged to be married, I found out he was cheating on me the whole time. GET OUT of that girl, you don't need that.

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  • Maybe he just needs advice on things...and can't handle life without it .Maybe he needs advice about girls ...since he doesn't know 4 sure if he made you happy or not and has to ask your best friend...You 2 need to comunicate more .

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