How do I stop loving him?

Alice2398
I can't help it, sometimes I hate him because I don't want to love him but I do and he will never love me back what ever I do. I feel awful every time I think or speak bad about him and even though others may say I should, I automatically feel guilty and regretful of it.

I just can't understand why he does what he does to me when he knows how I feel. He acts all flirty and chivalrous around me and then when his friends ask him about it he gets catty and acts like he's to cool for me. It's almost like it a joke between his friends and their just secretly laughing at me. They don't see what he's like when it's just me and him so they think I'm this super clingy, delusional girl what has a candle lit shrine dedicated to him or something.

I push him away and then I feel extremely lonely and sad because he makes me so happy at times and he's secretly the highlight of my day but then he breaks my heart again when he act's that way with his friends. When I'm with him it's like were the only two people on the universe and he's the only thing in my mind 24/7.

And then he comes running back to me and starts playing the same old games. He acts like a sad puppy dog in front of me and makes me feel guilty because I never want to see him sad let it alone be me to make him feel that way. All I want to do is to make him happy. I've never felt so much for a man before I love him so much I would do anything for him and he knows that so plays it to his advantage.

There's that little bit of hope and desperation in my head making excuses for him and convincing myself that he will love me back one day. I don't even think he realises what he's doing to my emotions, he's not a cruel person so I don't understand why he'd deliberately want to hurt me. I've tried everything thing and it works for a little but then when he starts hanging around me again them feels come rushing back. I feel super cringely talking like this but it's truly how I feel and it's the only way I can explain it.
Updates:
1 y
I've even tried talking to other guys to move on from him but when he finds out about it he act's really jealous and sad abusive it and I feel like I've been unfaithful to a guy who I'm not even dating and doesn't love me
1 y
Not abusive sorry I don't know how that got in he'd never be abusive with me. He says he's just a gentleman but he act's so differently around me then with other girls
How do I stop loving him?
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