Why am I still hurting?

Some background info its a lot:
It’s been over a month now and I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel so emotionally and mentally broken by her breaking up with me. I did everything for this girl I even helped her away from bad relationship with a guy whom she’s gotten back with since the breakup. I even spent 13 and a half thousand for a ring for her.. of which I donated to charity since mid may. We even planned things out in a conversation that we were going to go have children for Christ sake. I hate to sound like a fool but the girl was the one thing I had going good in my miserable life. I snapped the day after she dumped me. I cut her charger for her fone up, I doused her jacket in hand sanitizer and destroyed her hand bag. I was so hurt I couldn’t control myself that day. Since then I’ve apologized sincerely to her about it. But my point is she utterly utterly crushed me emotionally that day. Her and the partner she got back with have harassed me constantly, stalked me and slandered my name constantly trying to provoke me. I went to the course manger to issue a complaint about them because it had been ages since the day she left me. But due to my anxiety and lack of ability to function properly all that came out of my mouth is if they do anything else I’m going to snap again. I’ve been suspended till a meeting to take place soon but I’m terrified In case her and him start at again.
Since then I’ve just been fed up with life and I’m still hurting over how naive I was to fall deeply in love with her. My mind is going cookoo at the moment cause I’m sat at home unable to continue on with my coursework. I don’t see myself having a future anymore because I’m just broke in ever form. Honestly I see myself quicker ten feet under the ground than anything. Plus nearly everyone has cut ties with me socially because of her.
Why am I still hurting?
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