She decided to end the engagement, Why hasn't she sent the ring back yet?

-Long distance relationship, both have been planning it from the beginning, since more than 2 years so I went to her country, met her parents, proposed her with a family heirloom ring. -She accepted it in joy - 3-4 months after the engagement, she broke it off, mainly due to trust issues - 20 days after break up, I asked her amicably, and she told "it can't be rebuilt again, the damage is done" and about the ring "I will send it back of course". Near-complete silence afterwards. - 3.5 months after the break up, I asked again, this time in a strict, formal way when she is planning to send it back. She replied immediately "I'm sorry I had a tough time recently, of course I will send it back. I have it packed already. I replied "thanks" and that's all. -It has been 20 days since this conversation and nothing happened yet. It has been over 4 months after she broke up. What can be the reason? laziness/being busy or keeping the doors open for a future reconsideration?
Updates:
It was my mother's ring and she knew it and got overwhelmed about it even before I brought it to her. Also she knows that I'm not rich and the economical level of our countries are more or less the same. so I don't know if she would wait for 2.5 years just for a ring's worth of financial gains. Plus since it is already a second hand ring from 80s, jewelery stores wouldn't buy it for more than a couple of hundred bucks. She still hasn't removed my relatives on social media yet.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • If you met her parents and have a good relation with them maybe it is time to ask for their help. If she broke off the engagement maybe she is super depressed. Things like even walking to the post might seem a struggle to her. Perhaps sending them a kind note telling them you have concern over the young lady and possible depression, but also asking assistance with this small task might work. Don't criticize. But be friendly.

    It sounds like you are from traditional places and a parents approval would be paramount. Involvong them might ensure the rings swift return to save the parents face.

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    • Yes her parents are rather traditional but they don’t speak English, that’s why I don’t have their personal mobile numbers. I have her one older sister on social media, we never deleted each other. My last contact with her sister was on Easter, I celebrated it and she answered short but friendly as well. However she looks like she wouldn’t like to get into our issues with my ex-fiancée.

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    • Asking about the ring will drive her to someone else.

      No one will miss you unless you give them the opportunity to.

    • For the record when i initially answered i believed the engagement being off was final. My thoughts have changed a bit the more you have shared

  • " I never hated men enough to give him diamonds back" Zsa Zsa Gabor.

    Maybe she wants to keep it in memory box.
    Maybe she wants to keep it because it is valuable, or she is planning to sell it.
    It just doesn't seem like she is gonna send you back ring.

    Tehniqually it is her ring.

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    • No technically is not her ring. It would be her ring, if it was a new one bought specifically for the occasion of the engagement. That's not the case though. He stated that the ring is a family heirloom. That's a completely different case. The ring belongs to the the guy's family and since she has canceled the engagement, she is not family any more. She must return it, out of decency.

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    • @Kabluie In that case don't do it anymore. Find other ways to propose if giving/ borrowing something that expensive to someone

    • It was my mother's ring and she knew it and got overwhelmed about it even before I brought it to her. Also she knows that I'm not rich etc. so I don't know if she would wait for 2.5 years just for a ring's worth of financial gains. Plus since it is already a second hand ring from 80s, jewelery stores wouldn't buy it for more than a couple of hundred bucks. I just dont know...

Most Helpful Guys

  • i think she's lying and you'll ever get the ring back. it's already been 4 months, if someone really wanted to give something back, it's really not that hard to just quickly stop by the local courier retail service to ship it back and continue on with their day. even if they're busy with work and it's closed by the time they get out of work, there's always 1-2 days per week that they don't have to work, even with she's busy on her day off it still shouldn't even take a month, let alone 4 months.

    i guess either keep waiting or fly back there to see if you can get it back in person, it's really the only 2 options right now. but then again if she really doesn't want to give it back, even if you fly back there she can always bullshit you and say she shipped it back already or the mail/package was lost during transit so she can't do anything about it.

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  • She probably doesn't want to return the ring. You need to tell her she needs to return that ring because it's a family heirloom or you will file a civil lawsuit against her. She broke off the engagement, the ring is rightfully yours. Either you will take more forceful measures like filing a lawsuit if she doesn't return it. Tell her that you give her two weeks and if you do not have it by the end of the second week, you will be filing a civil lawsuit against her for the ring or financial compensation if she "lost" the ring.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 8

  • She's either still hold on to the ring cause it reminds her when she was happy with you and sending it back to her would mean it's really over her and she's not ready to face that reality. I'm hopping she hasn't stolen it, pawned it, or is just to lazy to send it back.

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  • Combination of laziness and perhaps not wanting to return it. I’d ask her again, but ask her to send the tracking number and not just whether or not she’s done it.

    You’re absolutely entitled to it back. An engagement ring is a promise of marriage, it hasn’t been fulfilled and it was her that ended it. Not to mention, it’s a family ring - it’s yours

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  • Contact her again and tell her to give you YOUR ring back.

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  • It was a gift. Engagement rings may be returned but not as a rule.

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    • That is completely wrong. Engagement rings are not a gift. Engagement rings are a contract. Who is entitled to keep the ring depends entirely on who breaks off the engagement. If the guy breaks off the engagement, the girl is entitled to keep the ring if she wants to keep it. If the girl breaks off the engagement, then the guy is entitled to get the engagement ring back unless he allows the girl to keep it.

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    • @Dragon_Rises i for one appreciate a person who values etiquette:)

  • She sold it

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  • She is still in love w u

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  • Maybe she already sold it and hold you off

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  • Maybe she gave it away but I don't know

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What Guys Said 11

  • Ring is gone. She sold it. Keep asking but consider it a lost cause.

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  • Why do I get attacked when I say that women are materialistic and after money?

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    • Because you make general assumption. I can say all mens are rapist, but they aren't. Some of you use us sexually, some women use you materially. Not all.

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    • What the hell, so just cause you don't hear about rape often doesn't mean it doesn't happen do. That's like saying trees never fall down in forest just cause you don't see or hear about it often.

    • @BrittBratt2416 did I say rape doesn’t happen?

  • I think she's testing you

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    • In which way do you think she is testing me? She never initiate contact herself in these 4 months and when I initiated (twice), she was cold and formal and got nervous when I brought up the reconciliation topic )

    • Let me finish this sorry. A couple things could be working here in my mind I see maybe three I'll give you all three because this actually happened to me in college.

      One and maybe in her mind she's thinking I'm saying it's over but is it really so she's conflicted to some degree and she's just holding that ring because it represents something solid in her life at a time where she may be very confused.

      I'm not saying your fiance is like this, but I've seen some women not want to give the ring back because they actually feel that it's theirs arguments go both ways.

      The last idea that I had, is a variation on what I just said, she may just be waiting for you to ask for back, not wanting to fight you better but perhaps hoping see you when asked for it back case he likes it.

    • Thank you. The first scenario was close to what I have been thinking as well. About the second one, I already asked twice with 3 months period between these and she said she will send of course. I don’t know. I also feel that if she was keeping the options in her mind, she would at least contact me every now and then to check if I moved on or not. Am I wrong?

  • Dude... You got ripped off.

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  • She's lazy, or maybe sold the ring.

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  • Is she on drugs?

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  • she's probably going to pawn it for gold

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  • Keeping the doors open for a future reconsideration?

    If the ring has any value, then that's why you won't see it again...

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  • You dumb fuck, she is a poor bitch from a poor ass country picking shit with the chickens. The ring is to help take care of her family. She did her part to help the family.

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  • She played you dude. If it was a long distance relationship and you got engaged, that alone is a bit messed up and foolish of you. But I say she took the ring and is either keeping it for herself or she got it sold already. I won't expect to see it again if I was you. You should have known better, you can't trust a woman you do know let alone one you don't and barely get to see. I know a few girls who actually pull that kind of scam on guys all the time. They meet him online and talk to him and get him to fall for her but she's only in it for what she can get out of him. They have no interest in him besides what she can get out of him. And once he gets wise to what she's up to or she get bored with him they end it and she moves on to the next guy to play. You got to be smarter and not let yourself get played by them. Honestly try to play them before they play you. Since that's pretty much all relationships are to these girls now days.

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  • "Long distance relationship" that was your mistake. About the ring she was probably just trying get a quick buck off of you.

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