How do you get over heartbreak?

It's been a year and I still haven't gotten over him. I feel like I just left the relationship at such an inconclusive place. I realized afterward that I actually loved him and that he was perfect for me in every way. But I had foolishly convinced myself that my career and life came before boys and I am too young to even consider falling in love or trying to be in a serious relationship. So here I am a year later feeling like I'm wasting my time chasing ghosts and am unable to move on. I've thought I had gotten over him but I guess those times were just quick fixes. How do you get over heartbreak. How do I stop asking "what if" and pine for him to come back in to my life miraculously.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm going through a similar situation though it's only been a month for me. Like you we left a lot of unresolved feelings under the surface and split due to the distance. I wished I had fought for her but now she is seeing someone else. I'm constantly living in my memories about what I could've done differently to keep her but all this does is make me more upset.

    All I'm trying to do is bury the feelings. Whenever I think of her I immediately try and think about something else whether it's work related or what I am going to have for dinner. I'm hoping by doing this I will slowly start thinking about her less.

    I think any relationship that didn't end badly will always have an unfinished mark on them but I try to rationalise that their is every much the possibility that things may still not have worked out even if we had continued dating. We'll never know and it's easier to think you've lost the love of your life when in reality it's always a 50/50 chance that things may not have worked out.

    So you have a few options:

    1. Continue getting over him, a year is a long time but if have you made even the smallest progress you'll know you will move on eventually.

    2. Get in contact with him. Either FB or somewhere that is neutral settings. That way you can keep the convo light and short and you will probably know from his status/pics if he has found someone else.

    3. Date other guys. Doesn't have to be anything serious. Just an opportunity to see their is other good guys around.

    Have you dated in the year you have split? I miss my ex like crazy but I also miss the whole aspect of a relationship the physical and mental intimacy that comes with another person. I truly believe their are many people we are compatable with and maybe by fixating on this one guy you are missing a lot of opportunities that are right in front of you. Good luck!

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What Guys Said 1

  • Really? Just find another guy, problem solved.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You have to stop focusing on him, and thinking 'what if' but focusing on other things in your life. It just seems hard because you think there aren't any other great guys out there... but there are, it just takes time and patients to find them.

    So focus on yourself and your career and slowly less and less of your mind will be occupied with thoughts of him.

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