How did you deal with breaking up with someone you loved?

did you cry for weeks, eat chocolate, idk, what did you do?

and what do you think is the best way to deal with it?

i didn't break up with my girl or anything, just so ou know. I'm just curious.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • My last relationship ended really badly. I was with him for 3 years, and the last year I was with him I was away from home at a big university. It mainly ended because he was paranoid. When I got home he kind of ignored me, but still attempted to control me; he was so ridiculous.

    Anyways, when I broke up with him I knew I was still in love, but I did not intend of staying in love with someone who wasn't in love with me. The morning after the breakup, my best friend came over and we had a picnic and talked. And I only really cried the night of the break up.

    Since it was summer break, I couldn't hide in my studies, so I focused on work and friends and stuff. I have some incredible memories. I talked about the break up a lot. Talking about it helped me realize how sh*tty the relationship really was.

    The breakup also happened at a terrible time, my little sister got cheated on (her best friend stole her bf), so I couldn't exactly show much weakness since she looked up to me for strength. What really helped was really me telling myself to just get over it. My friends were really supportive, and constantly being busy was a great way to "forget" about him. I did all the things he would have hated or wouldn't allow me to do, so I felt fantastic.

    It was actually really easy for me, looking back on it. It took a while to get used to the fact that we weren't talking, and for a while I actually thought he would call back. But literally a month was all it took. I don't even remember what it was like to be with him. All I have are good memories and terrible memories, but I'm not angry or bitter. I don't think I ever really was.

    I think its been like 5 months or something, and I'm already moving on. It feels so great to know that I was so able to put something so difficult behind me, I'm really happy it ended.

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    • i'm glad. I don't know what I'd do if me and my girl broke up.

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What Girls Said 14

  • I took a break for a year. Re-evaluated what I wanted out of life and love and so on. Decided what I wanted out of friends and boyfriends. Figured out what was important to me, and what ridiculousness I was hanging on to because everyone said it was so (like disney/fairytale love, or the man always paying on dates). I thought a lot about religion, and what I wanted out of that (still figuring that one out).

    Did stuff I wouldn't have had time for in a relationship- hung out with friends a lot, got a lot of alone time (learned to be able to be by myself, but be happy. After all, from life to death, the only person you are always with is yourself. why should it be such a problem to hang out by yourself?).

    This was all after my first boyfriend, who I went out with for 8 or 9 months. My next two boyfriends were short-term, and didn't really make enough of an emotional impact for me to do more than just cry for an hour or so. I'm on my fourth at this point, and we're in the process of getting engaged (he insists on an expensive ring- all I'm wanting is the romantic proposal, but rings are nice). I feel like that year-long break was a major growing point for me, a period when I figured a lot of things out about me and what I thought of the world.

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    • sounds like you made a very wise choice.

      i'm actually taking a year break right now haha

  • OMG I was in a situation where I was mainly friends with benefits with someone after a 12 year abusive relationship. He was still in love with his ex so we both just decided to keep it sex friendly. After 6 months my ex got out of jail and like an idiot I cold turkey left my friends with benefits alone and was miseable for the following 6 months. I cried every time I showered because if my ex knew I was sad over friends with benefits he would be pissed. It was the worst hurt I had ever endured and Thank god in those 6 months of both of us trying with our exes both exes messed up big tiime and we got back togeher and now we are inseperable and madly in love So to those who have heard the saying If you love something let it go if it comes back to you then it is meant to be IT IS TRUE! I WAS IN LOVE WITH MY FWB BUT TO PRIDEFUL TO SHOW IT. Now he definately knows it!

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  • My boyfriend of 2 years suddenly broke up with me an all I could do was cry for hours everyday, and when I found out that he after 2 weeks already was seeing somone else it hurt even more. So what I did was cry alot, talk with my girlsfriends about it and when I was tired of being sad all the time, I would try and have as much fun as possible - like I went to the movies alot, went out friends a lot more, went to parties and concerts. I watched a lot of friends, I had it on dvd - I would watch when I woke up and at night I'd watch until I fell asleep.. And after some time the pain went slowly away, and then suddenly I was never sad about it aymore.

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    • how long did it take for the pain to go away?

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    • That's because he was my first boyfriend, my first love, my first everything.. We were together from when I was 16-18 years old - a lot happens in that time.

    • yeah I can imagine how much harder that must have made it. my girl is my first too, not first girlfriend but first love, we've broken up before and just the thought that she was my first made me wanna get back with her.

  • i moved to italy. that whole experience is so overwhelming (and awesome) that it quickly took my mind off the break up, even though I did cry for a few days. I know not everyone can just go abroad lol but I would suggest surrounding yourself with new things/places/people. I think I would have taken it a lot worse if I had stayed in the same town, and would have been reminded of my ex everywhere I went because of all the memories we had there. 2 years later I still regret it sometimes (he was my first love, who doesn't think about them every once in a while?), but overall I know I made the right decision for myself.

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  • i've only had one really terrible break-up and it ended with me feeling depressed for 3 days then I just felt miserable and wanted him back. Whatever you do DONT look for rebounds. it never works and you end up just comparing everyone to your ex. it took me nearly a year to get over it but time heals all wounds. and that's what has held true for me. but everyone is different. just try different things and see what works for you. it could be working out, hanging with friends, or just picking up something new to distract yourself for a little while so you can get a grasp on things. hope that helps!

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    • i don't need the help but if I ever do I'll come back here.

  • It's hard but you have to force yourself to move on and not fall into a state of depression

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  • When I broke up with my ex I cried only once, right after I ended it, then came the feeling of something missing, but after that I kinda forgot about him. Though it took me 6 months of "not believing in love" i.e. I didn't love anyone, friend at a distance is a better explanation, until my new boyfriend came in and made that feeling fade. We've been together now for a while and its been rough and smooth but its going good.

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  • i didn't cry or over eat or rant. I was just very very numb

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  • when I broke it off with the first guy I fell in with I felt numb at first and then I was angry with myself for dong so so I made my self constanstly work out all the time. I was kinda punishing myself for breaking up with him over somenthing so stupid that it could of been avoided

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    • why didn't you just get back with him?

    • we broke up cause at this party we went to my ex friend got me drunk and slept with me.i felt guilty and told my boyfriend he forgave me and told me it was in the past. A month later my work was sending me to another city for 3 month,i was going to fly back home on the weekends ,He blew up about it saying how if I really loved him I would stay cause he has lot of money so we would be OK if I didn't . I later found out that after I told him he slept with his co worker to get back @ me for cheeting

    • well that's f***ed up, but you cheated first.

  • When I break up with someone I love, I dive into other aspects of my life. I don't really eat or sleep, but I work out compulsively, and tend to keep to myself more until I heal. Until I can sleep at night without thinking about them. And until I can hear their name and not choke up.

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  • go out with freinds :)) party :)

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  • I rebounded... with his best friend. Like others in this posted on this thread, DON'T DO THAT! You just end up more hurt than you were before, and hurting others too.

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  • I cried, hung out with my friends, got back onto my studies and worked on my grad school application. I still have random bouts where I think of him and miss him terribly. But then I try to think of all the positives that came out of the breakup. I think the reason why I still miss him so much is because it's the holiday season and everywhere I go, everyone's coupled up and it makes me bitter. I've never had someone special to spend the holidays with and it's something that I've always wanted. I was close to having someone, but I let him go.

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    • that sucks...

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    • Yeah, definitely. Better go through with the pain now otherwise it'll be harder to handle later down the line.

  • im going through it right now, but the guy broke up with me. I think it depends on the reason for the relationship ending, for me I cried a lot the first day, and its been a week, and I think I'm handling it pretty well. I have random break downs, like on the subway I'd just start tearing up or if I hear a certain song or any reminder of him. but I felt a lot better than I did prior to the break up because he left me hanging and I was left with a bunch of thoughts as to why he isn't talking to me and all that. I didn't sleep at all, so when he finally told me that we werent really good for each other, that he was still inlove with someone else. as much as that hurt, and still hurts to think about, at least I was able to know why he was being so weird and I got my mind back!

    to deal with it, I've been listening to my favorite band, every time I start to think about him and miss him I listen to that band as a pick me up.

    and I haven't touched any sweets! all I can really eat is soup right now ..haha, kinda you are what you eat, I feel like a blob.

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    • dam, asking this question makes me never wanna break up with my girl, I already don't want to but now even less.

What Guys Said 6

  • getting together with someone else takes the pressure off for a while but eventually you face up to what you lost, and if you really liked someone, have a cry, whatever, I'm not ashamed to admit it. I take a page out of butters book:

    Goth Kid: I guess you can join up with us if you want.

    Goth Kid 2: Yeah. We're gonna go to the graveyard and write poems about death and how pointless life is.

    Butters: Uh, uhm no thanks. I love life.

    Stan: Huh? But you just got dumped.

    Butters: Well yeah, and I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin' really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good, so I guess what I'm feelin' is like a, beautiful sadness. I guess that sounds stupid.

    Goth Kid 2: Yeah.

    Stan: No. No, Butters, that doesn't sound stupid at all.

    Butters: Well, thanks for offering to let me in your clique, guys, but, to be honest, I'd rather be a crying little p**** than a faggy Goth kid.

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  • She died so I dealt with it because I had to. Cried, spent a lot of time with friends, ate ice cream, tried dating again but couldn't do it so soon, and spent a lot of time alone thinking.

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  • if so, I think ,the best way is to start a new life and make new friends.

    i have heard someone saying that ," the best way of forgetting a woman is time and another woman".

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  • Alcohol. Eric Clapton, Hemmingway, even Alexander the Great was an alcoholic.

    If you don't want to resort to that... I'd recommend getting over it.

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  • I tried to keep as busy as possible, a lonely heart is a harsh thing to deal with.

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  • >implying anyone with your looks would ever have a girl

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    • ia have a girl, and I've had plenty, and I've even had to turn some of them down.

      but thank you for projecting your insecurity towards me.

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