Why does it feel horrible my ex is doing better?

I broke up with me ex a year ago after I found out she cheated on me (but i didn't twll her) and for a while she tried to get me back and for a short time it was just us hanging out and it was hard on both of us. I decided to just give it another chance. When I tried talking to her I over did by excessively calling her. In short she called the cops on me saying I was harassing her, the cops didn't think anything was wrong. But I had to drop a whole semester of classes, and deal with hating myself for almost 6. moths cuz I thought I am a bad person. Now, I see her excelling in the same career we chose and I'm set back because of mistakes I did.
Why does it feel horrible my ex is doing better?
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