Most Helpful Guys
I doubt you love him as much as you say you do. Couples who are really in love work together to help one another get through whatever it is they are going through. That is what LOVE is.. Love isn't supposed to be convenient. You aren't even allowing him to love you... the good and the bad. It's not selfish or selfless.. you don't really know what LOVE is.. so until you do it's probably better you do move on so he can find someone who won't give up at the first sign of an issue. He deserves better. Good luck to you.4
Let me share with you a story.
There was a girl that I loved. I thought she was the one for me. One day, her family experienced a massive tragedy when her sister died in an accident. She was in a bad place, but I made sure to be there for her. It was a difficult situation all around. Eventually, she decided to break it off because she wasn't in a good place (understandably). I insisted that she reconsider because the last thing she should do is make such a big decision while grieving.
I explained to her that I understand what she's going through; not exactly, but I experienced loss first-hand myself. She insisted and broke it off. "I'm not going to be any good for you; you deserve someone who is stronger; someone who is more cheerful... blah blah blah." She then proceeded to unfriend me on facebook and blocked my number on her phone and on WhatsApp.
I was really heartbroken and disappointed. So, I decided that if she's going to pull the plug on our relationship like that the moment she faces a serious problem, then she's not the one for me. When you experience a tragedy it's a test for your significant other. A SO who sticks by you in your time of need is a keeper, and letting them go because "FEELINGS!" alone, is not enough.
FYI, a few months later, I had completely moved on and found someone else. She contacted me and asked me to take her back. What am I supposed to do? I was angry with her at first, and while I hold no malice towards her, I finally moved on. It's not right.
You are beyond "selfless vs. selfish". You're rather being IRRATIONAL to the nth degree!10
Most Helpful Girls
Is selfish. Its insecure and totally selfish, not selfless at all. Its an excuse that someone might give because theyre afraid that sooner or later the person they love will realize theyre "worth" and move on to bigger and better thibgs, leaving the insecure person in the dirt. What that insecure person doesn't realize is that its rips away at a persons self esteem when someone basically says "even though your great, and even though your doing everything right, and even though your this amazing person Im going to leave you. Because even when your good, sometimes your too good." It makes a person feel like "damn, I did everything right and still got left?" It makes a person question everything if they can't even trust that being a good man or woman is enough4
If you can't take care of you, you can't take care of others. This is not an opinion but a fact. It doesn't mean you have to be perfect, but relationships are work. Full time jobs. You can't do two full time jobs at the same time and be equally successful at both.
Now if you've already made a committment, you work through it. But if you aren't married i can understand why someone would focus on fixing them first. And it isn't fair to ask you to wait for them to get better. In fact, once they get better you may not want them because they may have changed in a way that doesn't mesh with who you are now.1