My boyfriend thinks I don’t trust him and because of this, he’s considering breaking up. What can I say?

Basically, we have been together for 7 months now and last night (while he was heading to a party) I was so mad at him that I said “Don’t talk to any girls at the party”. He became very mad and said “I already told you I’m not there to talk to girls why can’t you just trust me”. After the call he texted me and said “I’m sorry. I love you but it’s hurts being with you when you don’t trust me” and he said he didn’t want to see me the next day but after a bit of calm talking he said “Okay we aren’t broken up... but we aren’t on good terms. I will see you tomorrow and then we will talk”.
I REALLY need to fix my mistake. I know I do, and I really do trust him, I just get extremely jealous because he has so many friends that are girls, and it makes me jealous when other girls get to spend more time with him than me (we live 20 minutes away from each other and go to different schools). It doesn’t help when I’m already mad at him for something else and when a girl pops up during the same time, I just yell “Don’t talk to her”. I do trust him! I don’t need to go through his phone, I don’t need to do anything. I know he would never cheat on me. I just really want to prove to him that I do trust him and that I made an awful mistake. How can I reassure him so that we stay together? Please help, what should I say...
Updates:
I’m deleting this question I’m 48 hours because barley any of you have good advice lol only a few who are helping me on how to fix it not what I did wrong. I don’t need a history lesson lol half of you probably aren’t even in relationships and don’t understand so nevermind bye

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I think that you seriously have to sit down and talk with him. Try to understand your feelings of jealousy and see if there's a way to work together to heal that rift. Does he talk to you much about these female friends? Do you feel that there's a lot going in that side of his life that you don't know? If so then you have a right to feel worried. Beyond all else, talk to him about his feelings on this, and also talk about your own feelings. It sounds wishy-washy but without total openness and understanding on both sides, you're going to be in for a lit of hurt and regret later.

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  • My advice is that you tell him everything you said here. But in the future you will have to stop telling him not to talk to other girls. Nobody wants to be with a person who tries to control their life. Just make sure you explain it to him like you did here, that it has nothing to do with those girls, you were just mad about something else and that you know he wouldn't cheat on you. I think he will understand that

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    • Okay. Thank you very much

Most Helpful Girl

  • But you don’t trust him. It’s seriously next level crazy to tell your partner they can’t talk to people and makes it completely clear that you don’t trust him, you don’t respect him to be faithful and you could have proven that by not acting like this.

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    • I do trust him. And I’m not asking what I did wrong I’m asking how to fix it thanks

    • Your excusing your behaviour and trying rationalise it with bullshit. The first part of fixing a problem is admitting what it is and owning your poor behaviour but instead you’re down playing it

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 9

  • if you really trusted him, you would not say those things. Being mad at the time does not justify making such statements. There is probably nothing that you can do to salvage this relationship. Trust is a fundamental requirement.

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    • I know what I did wrong I don’t need a lesson I’m asking how to fix it and yes it can be done

  • I don't think you can actually trust him properly, I'm you don't need to say stuff like that to your boyfriend, because it doesn't help make your case, even if you are thinking it, don't actually say it, because it makes you look a little controlling

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  • Lay all your cards to him about how you feel, and tell him that we work together on this situation with him talking to other girls. If you trust him, then prove it, by letting him talk to other girls.

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  • I used to get jealous of my girlfriend because 90% of her friends were guys. Over a bit of time I became okay with it by meeting and getting know her friends.

    I told her that I trusted her completely, I just don't trust her friends. We talked things out and got to know her friends better and it helped me chill out when she was with her friends

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  • Dude ita your fault noone likes a partner who doesn't trust him
    Just give him some personal space and even if he talks to other girls it doesn't mean that he is gonna start the relationship with them so just chill dude

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  • And serve him the same thing that you're telling us and what causes it so that he understands what's going on with you you can't just expect him to know sit down and tell him and talk to him about it communication is the first rule of any relationship no matter what no one says if you don't have communication you don't have a relationship and it's a very simple thing to do sit down and talk

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  • Even if you smooth this over, you're just going to keep having the same reactions. Maybe it's better for you to let this guy go and try dating a nice loser with no friends and no social life?

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  • Just say something

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  • go ahead and delete this but before you do just know that this relationship is pretty doomed. you seem like the controlling type and probably deserve to be broken up with.

    I'd offer a solution but lets face it this is an internal problem on your part and looks like you aren't willing to listen

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What Girls Said 2

  • If you genuinely trusted him, you wouldn't say things like that, there's no use saying you trust someone and then turn around and tell them not to talk to people. Regardless, the issue here doesn't seem to be you making it up to your boyfriend. You can't show him that you trust him when you actually don't and he'd see through any attempt at coddling him or lying to yourself right now because he's already upset. I think the issue that you need to work on is sorting out the trust issues. Focus on why you enjoy being with him and that he loves you too and there's been no indication of interest in others. Face any doubts you have and never say things like 'don't talk to girls' because it won't help the situation at all. Be honest and admit that you have some trust issues with him (because, again, you clearly do if you're telling him not to talk to people when you get upset with him) and reassure him that you're going to work on them. If you show a willingness to change, then he might forgive you.

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  • You both need to get together and hash this out or your relationship is going to end up in the sewer. I can see it from where I am sitting. Patch It up real quick or be sorry later. There is trust issues brewing and this is unhealthy.

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