My ex's new girlfriend...that he won't call his 'girlfriend'?

So my ex is still with the girl he cheated on me with. He'd tell me that he loves me, not her, it's just that he has problems and knows he can't be faithful to me and doesn't want to hurt me anymore. He'd say that it's not like he replaced me with her, trying to imply that what he has with her is not as special as what he had with me. Then the other day I asked him how his girlfriend was and he just went all quiet and mumbled something about her not really being his girlfriend. Then he asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said no, I don't just go with the first person that comes along and I'm also quite put off sex since he made it so cheap and meaningless when he cheated on me. He said 'no it's not like that', trying to vaguely hint that it didn't mean much to him, but he doesn't say it in very clear language.

So basically I reckon he probably quite likes this girl and must be having a nice time with her. Is it really possible that he doesn't consider her his girlfriend and that he doesn't tell her he loves her etc? I'd like to think so but I think he just tells me those things because he believes it's what I want to hear. Or he is embarrassed that he is so fickle, or he wants to make our relationship seem like a big deal to him so that everything that went before and all the love he showed me doesn't seem meaningless.

Your thoughts welcome! Thanks

Updates:
thanks guys for all your help :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Considering I'm going through the opposite end of the spectrum where my ex is FLOODING the new girl with attention and parading her around and acting like she's his girlfriend and has effectively replaced me with her in almost every capacity...I can almost understand your fear of this being the case with you.

    It's a sucky feeling to think that your ex will move on with the NEXT girl and I'm not going to pretend I'm having an easy time processing it. However, I have decided to move on and you should too.

    It really doesn't matter in the whole scheme of things how things turn out between him and her, he's told you that he can't be faithful to you which in the end will hurt you more in the long run.

    Maybe he's with her to get the cheating out of his system... Maybe it started off casual and now it's progressed to the point he actually enjoys spending time with her... Keep in mind she's different and guys like the excitement of something new, hence the huge problem some of them have with fidelity.

    Don't make the same mistakes I did and continue to talk to him about her and asking him how he feels about you. Right now he's not going to be completely honest and you really don't need to be focused on how he feels right now.

    Start the NO CONTACT RULE NOW...Go out with friends and if he calls/text tell him you need space and separation. Actually look for things that you enjoy and use them as distractions. Right now he is not obsessing about you and he probably won't know what it feels like to miss you if you're still there.

    The love he showed you was meaningful to you...I know it hurts (TRUST ME) and it feels like it was all a lie given his recent actions, but you can't let this feeling cripple you or make you second guess your self worth. You were faithful to him and the relationship was a big deal to you...Now it's over and you should allow yourself to grieve it, but don't wallow in it or make yourself feel less valuable to him than this new person.

    Let him go and forget about what's happening between the two of them. Focus on you.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Feelings never go away...

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    • I really want to believe that. I'm in the same boat. I was with my boyfriend for 3 years. We broke up in Aug.. He started dating someone new immediately and I fell apart. I did everything wrong. Blew up his phone, emailed him, text him.Told the other girl we were still sleeping together after the break up (which was true).He told me he loved me, but he didn't want to try again (we broke cause I got sick and he got scared). Now I'm afraid he's falling for her and has literally deleting me from his lie.

What Girls Said 3

  • He cheated on you and he says he cares about you but he *cant* be faithful, he CAN anyone CAN he chooses not to. I think its slimy for I'm to act like its a force beyond him independent of his will. I think he's a coward a hypocrite & I wouldn't trust him- nor would I want his 'love' he's really disrespected you & is OK with it, move on,

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  • If he cared about you period, he wouldn't of cheated on you. Seriously forget about him, karma will kick his ass.

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  • why do you care how your ex considers his girlfriend. Move on...

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