I don't know the real reason why my girlfriend wants a step back? Is it another guy or is she scared of failure?

I'm in a long distance relationship with a girl I met on facebook through a mutual friend. We immediately hit it off. Three month went by everything was going great, where we were talking about marriage. It was weird picking her up at the airport .i only knew her from pictures and phone. It went perfect. We couldn't wait to see each other again. In October she came again.This time she brought her two kids, Aubri 3 and Ethan 1. They treated me like I was there dad. In fact Ethan called me da da. I could tell Stephanie was impressed. She left October 19. When she got home she text me and was like I need to see you more. We both made serious plans for me moving there (1500 miles away) in February. But It was weird when we first started talking (July 20)she was affectionate, talk to me when she was down and as time went on we talked less. As soon as I got blackberry messenger (two month in) it seemed like that's the only time we communicate. We would text all day, but hardly spoke on the phone. I couldn't call her cause her grand mother would always put her down for having a long distance relationship and she didn't want her to know. On Halloween night she was asking if I was gonna get a two bedroom or...Then told me a place where I could start working and how excited she was for me to move there. The next day comes (Nov1) and she was distant.i text her when I got out of college and she was like Alex I'm doing homework. But she said with attitude. So I said OK Babe. Then I get a text saying Alex I think we should take a step back. I was in shocked. No phone call a text? She wouldn't talk bout it on phone. The night before we had just talked about me moving there. She's obviously getting cold feet. Her childhood was horrible. Her mother was a drug attic and let guys molest her. Randoms guys would come into her room and...You wouldn't know it cause Stephanie acts so strong.So early in the relationship she told me she puts walls up when someone gets close, cause she is afraid of getting hurt, never gets her hope up for nothing. So I think this step back thing is cause of that. She doesn't want this to fail so why try.? why get disappointed again? The next day after saying she wanted a step back she would text me first and almost instigate a fight, act cold everything. When commitment time would come, whether it was her coming here (both times) she would get real cold towards me (week leading up to) , and back out then wanna come...but always came. so that's what I thought she was doing. Her best friend emailed me and asked how it was going. I told her Stephanie was being cold and as told her exactly what she would do. so I asked her friend Leah for advise. She found out Nov 9 and got pis*ed. she said its over. after she saw on facebook that I hung out with a ex. she continues to text me bashing me over it. why communicate if she dislikes me? I told her I would say good luck to whatever she does. And she goes I met a great guy good luck. is that why she step back?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Your ex thinks like my ex they don't know what they want. Yes it think it is a commitment issue, My ex and I were also in a LDR for 32 months and was set to be married but he threw it all away for some girl just like that...Let her be don't reply to her anymore and figure how things would go from there...It would be difficult I know because I am in the same boat at the moment...:( am still devastated but trying very hard to move on--somehow...I hope I was able to help somehow...

    • yeah.. she is affraid of dissapointment cause of her childhood.

What Guys Said 1

  • If it's another guy..then you need to find out why she dropped you all of a sudden. You need to put together a game plan to winning her back also..I went through a similar situation but lost my ex to another guy because I didn't follow the advice of this guy ==> link

    • i dunno. yesterday we got into it again. she said that she wasn't talking to him when we where. she said she met him friday. but she also told me 2 weeks ago that she wanted time to herself. but yet she meets another guy 2 weeks after flying her and her kids here 1500 miles. she said I don't want space from him I never felt the way towards you I do him. I know that's not true from the things she wrote me and did. she's just pist.

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