My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me 1 month ago. His reason was that he had doubts about the relationship, doubts that he had never had in previous relationships, he also needed someone more exciting, he felt like he had lost himself and had become a dull stay at home person, and lastly I don't have the same career choice as he does, which I never thought was an issue, I was supportive of his career and would show interest in it, I wasn't an expert in the subject but would go to his shows and join their conversations (he's a theatre major and I am a business major). Him and I were great together or so I thought, we were genuinely happy and he admitted that, he said we had a great time together but that was that. I saw him a couple of weeks back and he caught me up on how his days have been, we joked, laughed, and talked, we connected again but he said he's made his decision and he's sticking to it. I don't understand why he didn't want to work at it, I mean, we never really fought, and I we ever did we worked it out within a matter of hours, we have never broken up before, I was supportive of his career choice, and stuck with him through tough times. His friends liked me so that wasn't an issue, I trusted him (well his ex annoyed me some but I was tolerant--she isn't the reason she lives in a different state). All his friends were shocked when it happened and were very supportive. There is a new girl that hangs out with him way too much, even when we were still dating, I was a little worried but I let it slide by because she was new to his grad program and she was lonely and homesick, I am not sure if I should hold on or let go, I miss him so much and truly believed that he was the one for me. What do you guys think? Should I wait? Will he come back?
Most Helpful Guy
Honestly, and I hate to say this but I can truly relate with what you are going through, the best thing you can do is nothing. Because if there is any kind of interaction it will only push him away further and confuse and crush you for months. The only way to really get someone back and to show you if they really do care/miss/love you is to ignore them.
Distance does make the heart grow fonder. It sucks because the holidays are coming and really, the only thing you want is to be with him. Watch, when Christmas comes and you don't send him a message, and especially on new years...you will probably get a message the next day from him. Not only will it show that he is thinking about you, it shows that he wants to know why you didn't contact him, wondering what you were doing, almost a little upset that you ignored him. Plus if anything it will help you hopefully from waiting and waiting, driving yourself crazy, instead of really getting over him and moving on.
It's really stupid and childish. It's one of those games that you don't want to play but you have to. I hate these games. It eats away at you and makes you miserable, but you have to. You are not being mean, you are actually giving him exactly what he wants. 2 years in any type of relationship is a long time devoting yourself to someone, or something. People feel just as depressed when they lose their job just as much as someone who is dumped. People just don't forget about that time and who they were with. If he truly cares, he will come back.
As much as you want to call him and talk to him and all that, don't. You can't. Make him miss you. And to do that is to distance yourself to him. Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. I'm still going through it actually. If anything it will be a win-win situation. Either he will be back or you will honesty know that you need to move on and find someone better. It will help you from spending months and months being depressed, hoping, praying that he will come back.1
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