I want to leave my Fiance and child. Should I do it?


I am 25yo female living abroad with my 3yo boy and 34yo fiance. I work from home and he works full time and i guess, well, i am just completely sick of my life.

I feel like i have wasted my early twenties for nothing. I miss my freedom, i miss not having to get up at 6 every fucking morning and multiple times during the night cause the kid is screaming at me.

I hate being a mum... completely 100 percent hate it... i feel i have completely lost myself and lost my fiance (we dont even sleep in the same bed anymore becuase of the kid) he needs his rest before work.

Money is always tight and my health is failing badly. im 25 but look 45, permanent dark circles drawn under my eyes, my hair is litrally falling out in clumps after the baby bought back a virus from kindergarten, i caught it and it turned into pnuemonia. It was so bad i thought i was going to die... sometimes i wish i had.

I have no friends, i dont spend anytime alone with my fiance who still gets to go out and see his friends then come home and be super dad.

I want to leave, i love my fiance dearly, but i cannot stand our life anymore... i have nothing, and without some major changes fianancially i can't see anything changing, infact its just going to get worse.

I dont want to be a mum anymore. Topping myself seems a far more pleasing option than spending the next 16 years trapped here. Im 25!! i want to be doing things with my friends, travelling, becoming educated so i am not considered stupid by society... i have no degree

The thing is, if i do leave,, i will loose everything. I will lose my fiance which will completely break me, i will loose my family who will most likely never talk to me again, i will loose the house i worked so hard to get the deposit for... however i will get my freedom back.

So to sum up,,, do you think i should leave?

1 y
Why is everone assuming im abusive to my child? I am the one who makes sure he gets everything he needs/wants, also the people assuming i would hit him... lol, i would kill myself before i did that meaning i never would. Thanks to those who gave me helpful advice and to those who where just mean... ever heard of the saying 'walk a mile in my shoes'...
I want to leave my Fiance and child. Should I do it?
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