How can I stop falling apart because of my ex?

He was my everything, he was amazing, he was my world
But shit happened, we had a fight and the next day he just came to me and broke it off on good terms, he said it would be better for the both of us, we stopped seeing each other or talking after that

After 8 months of depression, he called me, he checked up on me
He saw how sad and broken I was, and he wants to make up for it, so we're hanging out again as friends, I'm always so happy around him
But whenever I see him flirting with another girl, I just try to go back home as quickly as possible so I can burst into tears and cry myself to sleep, my heart gets destroyed whenever it happens, and I get even more sad cuz I act that way

I've never been so depressed
Never got so broken in a matter of seconds
Never cried this many tears
I just need any help and tips please
When I'm away from him I'm depressed, and when I'm with him now I also get depressed cuz for some fucking reason I think we're actually a thing while we're not and idfk why I get so fucking jealous and hurt because of the way he acts with other girls
I fucking hate it I hate myself, I just wish I was a bitch who hurts guys and doesn't feel a thing afterwards

What do you suggest I do?
How can I stop falling apart because of my ex?
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