How to move on after a 4 year relationship failed?

Hey I'm in my last year at high school and suddenly the girl I was going out with just dumped me outta the blue

i just can't believe this would happen I wasted almost all my high school years for her ,did everything for her ,was never clingy gave her her space SHE used to do everythng for me and randomly give me "girly" lover gifts etc

i just don't understand like I come back this year , its my last year I'm a senior and the first few months at school were OK but then she gradually got distant

then just 2days ago out of the blue she says she enjoys what we had whle it lasted but just doesn't see it working out with me as a longterm thing (we planned to attend the same college etc and our parents were actually very happy that we were serious about eachother)

i don't know how to deal with this .. man girls are so confusing I just don't get how she suddenly stops liking me

in all honesty I just kinda feel betrayed lol and I can't distance myself from her because nearly every other weekend our parents go to eachothers houses for dinner and stuff (childhood friends) and.. damn lol I never expected this

ive been keeping myself busy I mean its only the beginning I'm sure ill get over it eventually or at least am convincing myself I will lol

but what do you guys suggest I do I mean I know I sound like I honestly don't give a sh*t but .. well I just have trouble expressing myself,. you kno what I mean

any advice on how to get over this ...thanks


Most Helpful Girl

  • yeah sorry for what happened. Oh well, just figure it out on your own that you need a type of girl and go out and search for her. forget this one if she isn't giving you the time of day, and realize that true love means that person WANTS to be with you and to spend time with you. You can't force her to so yeah, just give up. Totally realize you have to move on and that it will be to your happiness if you moved on. You can't just keep thinking about her if you can't have her. Just move on. think happy thoughts and be hopeful the future will be bright. Hopefully you guys will always be friends. I know a lot of my friends dated people like you. One of my girls, lets call her T dated a guy when she was 15-20 and that was 6 years, and they lived together for half that time. Well anyways, he cheated on her with multiple women and impregnated two women but she still loves him like a brother and see him quit often. She is now engaged to somone new but that's how the cooke crumbles. He now looks at her and wish he didn't do what he did, and he is now single. Also another one of my friends, lets call him T2, anyways he dated a girl from when he was 20 until he was 26 and she cheated on him and left him after 6 years... he is still best friends with her and they talk constantly. She calls him her best friend, but he also let the insecurity that she put in him affect him. so don't let that happen to you. Just realize that you are a great person, she may just think you are holding her down from exploring and that's what I hear a lot from young people. They want to grow and explore others and see what else is out there since they feel they didn't have the chance. So that's what T's ex told her, that he wanted to explore others out there since all he knew was her. Anyways, so T2 was afraid his next girlfriend (who was my best friend) would cheat on him and he was super paranoid and he let that ruin his relationship. So just realize that not all girls are like that and will just dump you after having you for years. Anyways... I'm just blabing because I'm bored but I hoped this helped you to move on. Well, you'll be fine. Just keep saying you will and you will be.

    • Thanks that was long but it's good 2 know I'm not the only one going through it

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What Girls Said 5

  • Was it out of the blue?

    Maybe things were bad for a while but you didn't pick up on it. Either that or she is just plain mean? If you're going to college things will change anyway, you'll meet so many people who you never imagined would be so much more compatible with you! Anyway, good luck.

  • You yourself wrote that you had wasted almost all your high school years for her, so maybe it was not such a good relationship after all?

  • It sounds like she either found someone, or just got bored.

    The third possibility, is she's having a mental state, or issue in her head, and she can't think of anyway to solve it without breaking up.

    I was like that, but in the end, I never broke up, I had problems from getting over another guy.

    Those are the three possibilities.

    Basically, you try to spice things up, and go somewhere really fun. Give her time to think, or try to talk to her, if she has anything she didn't tell you.

    One of those three possibilities are most likely.

  • I'm sorry for what happened, but maybe it was better she did it now and not while you two attended college together. I'd say move on, remain keeping busy, and look forward to going to college and meeting a new crowd of people and girls. Remain neutral with her, since your parents are friends, and open to her friendship but consider it her loss, not yours. It will be hard at first to move on, but you will eventually see that there are plenty of fish in the sea and plenty of cute girls at your new college. Your too young to give your life to someone, maybe it's time you did you and met new people and experience college and life as a single guy, and perhaps in the future when you two are ready, you can come back to each other. Until then, move on and enjoy the last year of high school.

  • i had this happen to me. it sucks. everything was awesome I thought we were in love, then he called me told me he didn't think it was gonna work, then told me that he haden't loved me for 6 monthes and hung up the phone. we never even fought before this. and we don't even talk any more. we were together most of high school, and he was my best friend. that phone call changed me. I'm over it now he turned into a person I never knew and don't want to. but I wwould say all things happen for a reason.


What Guys Said 1

  • sorry if I sound rude, ignorant, macho, etc. but from experienced the best method is to just get another girl(if she's better then the last, even BETTER). You'll get distracted with her so much that you will eventually forget the previous one, or you might just look back and lough, and say "wow, I can't believe I actually spend 4 years with that bimbo". Its hard man, but just keep in mind that there's more women in the world then men, so no rush. you know in every pond you will always catch a bigger fish the next time... so just because you caught one and it escaped you, don't mean you cannot throw your fishing rod back in the pond and catch a better one.


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