My boyfriend dumped me to get his ex wife back and she doesn't even WANT him back!

OK, so my boyfriend of 3 mos dumped me today so he could get his ex wife back. Now I am friends with his ex wife and she does NOT want him back EVER! He said he didn't care what she SAID because it was just talk. Now, I know differently. He said he will wait for her forever, and be alone and miserable. And that is that isn't love, then what is? I asked him if he thought of how SHE feels about it, and he said he didn't care. I said what about how I feel? Again, he didn't care. So when I said, so basically you only care about how YOU feel, he said yes. I told him that isn't true love and if he truly loved her, he would leave her alone! Am I wrong? She doesn't want him back, as for me, I WANT to be with him! How can I get him to see that I TRULY love him? Also, how can his ex wife get thought to him that she DOES NOT want him back EVER? We are at our wits end with him! Please help!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Welcome to "Understanding Men 101".. lol

    Wanna get through to him? Walk away. It'll show him that you do care, that you have cared, and that you aren't going to let "the fact that you care for someone" override your personal boundaries.

    Yes, you want him back.. But you are only FEEDING that desire of "having him back" which is a destructive emotion if he doesn't want you back. Think about it - the more you can't have him, the more you are trying to show him you want him (and have him understand that), and because you can't have him, it's reinforcing the desire to have him even more. So you're in a "loop" rather than progressing.

    I know you won't walk away easily; you sound like the type of girl that is persistent with love, that you think this guy can be your true love. You may care for him a lot, but you are failing to realize that he's bluntly told you: "I want someone else, not you".. it's a devastating blow to realize, but why chase down a dead horse? If someone told me they want someone else, I may be devastated and hurt, but I'd move on and find true happiness.. A true love will NEVER say something like that to you.

    There are probably a lot of facts I don't understand because you couldn't include them in the question. What I can tell you is that you are perpetuating this torture for a longer time than if you let him go. If you decide to let him go, you will feel pain, you will get over the pain, and it's likely that your paths will cross at least once more in the future... You have a long life to live.

    I really wish I could understand why a majority of women are psyched about finding guys like this - then keeping them when they know how abusive the relationship is on their emotions - it literally perplexes my mind.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

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    • At this point I really CANT walk away because I live with him. I see him everyday! We sleep in the same bed because there is nowhere else for me to sleep. And he's fine with that he said. So, now I am stuck living here with him, sleeping in the same bed, knowing he doesn't want me at this point. How do I deal with that? And how does his ex wife get through to him that she wants NOTHING to do with him and that he's better with me? She truly believes that and is trying to get him to see it too?

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    • Man that sucks; you're fairly patient to wait it out, hopefully the best happens and he realizes sooner rather than later. Keep your chin up :)

    • Well, I try to be patient. Because I know that if you really love someone you get to deal with it ALL, not just the good, you have to take the bad as well. That's why I am gonna wait this out. I am almost sure this is a phase and no matter how much it hurts, he will most likely come around. He has done this in the past to others too and things have always worked themselves out. Just have to stay positive.

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