Have been trying to get back with my ex?

I am a single 27 year old male... Have been trying to get back with my Ex (we were together for 6 years and have 3 kids) I am a firm believer of an Ex is an Ex for a reason... But with kids involved and the fact of how we broke up I feel there maybe an exception for this.. so here is is a little history I moved away for work almost a year and a half ago and she was suppose to come 2 months after I moved but things fell through and she decided to stay close to her family... which ended up in me calling it off as we were over 1000 km away from each other and the fact I was never able to get in touch with her to talk to her or our kids... 4 months ago she moved close to where I am. About out 6 weeks ago she started telling me she wanted us back together and wanted to be a family again... But she refused to tell her family... So I emailed her sister and told her that we were together again and she has been lying to her and the rest of the family(to me seems they know she is with someone else and that is why she did not want to tell them) but anyways her sister questioned her about and she lied to her sister(the sister sent me MSN conversation to show she was denying it so I sent some in detail conversation back to the sister with my ex) over the last week she has told me she can not be with me she wants to be friends for now until she gets help that she needs etc. So I told her OK I am not putting my life on hold for her and when she is ready she knows where I am and she freaked on me saying I have someone else and I want nothing to do with her etc but I have asked her many times since she freaked and same answer and I have explained to her it is not me asking to be friends it is her what I do not understand is why freak on me when it is her telling me she doesn't want it right now and I am giving her what she wants... any input welcome :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • You are right that it's different when kids are involved, and ofcourse you love your kids =).

    You are right to say that you are just giving her what she wants, she doesn't want a relationship with you right now...

    and you are right about just not waiting on her...

    don't let her control your life, and make you feel anything. If she doesn't love you then she doesn't and you can't help that.

    Just go out and have fun and be with the people that does love you. Even if you do love her, being with someone who makes you feel frustrated and low isn't that great for you.

    That's what I think.

    • Thanks this is what I figured :) only thing is she tells me all the time she loves but but ohh well. Ex is an Ex for a reason lol

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What Girls Said 2

  • It seems to me that she has some serious trouble in her head... she doesn't know what she wants, and she is a lier!

    Tell her that straight in the face, that you didn't like her lying about you (or did u?) and she should get clear what she wants. You would want to go back to her but than she has to be committed, too.

    • Thanks and I have told her many times I did not like the lying and I have proven to her family that she is lying so much to them and to me... I don't think I will ever give her a chance again... This was the only chance and I told her that 6 weeks ago when we started trying again.

    • I'm sorry to hear that it didn't work out for u...but you can still be a good dad, even when mum and dad are not an item!

  • The mother of your children and ex seems really, really shady and indecisive. First, she wants to move with you, then she doesn't, first you're done and now she wants you back. Then there's the fact that she lies to her family.

    You want NOTHING to do with her romantically. Yes, you two should still communicate for the sake of your children but that's it. Being together doesn't automatically guarantee happiness and a good environment to raise your three kids. They need stability. And parenting. And you won't be able to provide that if you're always working through issues from your past relationship and trying to start anew. It's too messy.


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