Boyfriend said “I need to talk to you “ I guess it’s over :(?

We’ve been dating 5 months and everything has been going well.

Today he sent a message to me which states “I need to talk to you” . My anxiety is killing me. I didn’t do anything wrong and he didn’t do anything wrong to me.

I asked him if it was something bad and he responded with “ I prefer we talk on Tuesday if that’s okay with you”
He’s a great guy and this is killing me inside.

I’m afraid that he is going to break up with me. 😖
I didn’t realize how much I sucked at being a girlfriend.

We are both 27 by the way.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's never a good feeling when your partner doesn't specify what the discussion will be about. It's serious no doubt but it doesn't necessarily mean it's a break-up coming. He's probably looking for an opportunity to have plenty of quality time to talk with you about what he has in mind when neither of you are busy. Just let him know in the future that you would prefer to talk about the issue as soon as possible so it doesn't emotionally torture you inside as it does now. If you believe you did nothing wrong, then this is something that has to do with him. I hope this discussion goes well for the both of you and its nothing too serious!

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Thank you so much. I appreciate it. My anxiety is so bad I hardly eat.

    • You'r very welcome. I'm sorry you're not feeling well from the anxiety :( I used to have this problem before but since my girlfriend and I decided to have serious talks right away instead of later, things got better! Hope you feel better soon!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe he really just wants to talk. Couples can work things out without breaking up, you don't suck as a girlfriend probably. A shitty girlfriend wouldn't be so concerned about her relationship. Why don't you call him and ask if he's ending things with you?

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    • He’s busy today and I work tomorrow, he works Monday. We work 24 your shifts.

    • 24 hour shifts?
      Thats literally impossible. And yes, people have work... You also get off work, why not call him when you're both off work?

    • We won’t both be off until Tuesday. We are paramedics

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • I understand your fear but if you was a nice girlfriend maybe he realized that he doesn' want to continue. Don't feel guilty because not the first time it happens. My advice is be patient and wait for anything. And you will find someone better. Or maybe it's nothing about break up.

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    • I hope I’m overthinking this. I’m expecting the worst. I’m already crying like he broke up with me.

    • World continues, believe me. You have friends, family, hobbies, they are your best allies

  • Yesterday, I told my wife the same thing. I needed to explain to her that she needs to pre-wash some of the dishes she puts in the dish washer because they come out grimey

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    • My mom does that ALL THE FUCKING TIME still. I'm home for the summer and it's like being an annoyed kid all over again.

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    • I think he was making a point that saying 'we need to talk' doesn't equal ending the relationship.

    • Oh okay. I’m kinda slow lol

  • Then he isn't worth it. He's absolutely aware of the fact that you are being torn up inside by making you wait. There's not really a big reason to make you wait. "We need to talk" is brutal. I know that he knows it's brutal, and it doesn't stop him from doing it. Din't let it eat you up. Just be prepared for the worst. In fact, I think you should beat him to the punchline. You tell him you kind of understand what's going on and that you don't want to wait and you're putting an end to it now. It'll be much easier on you and it puts an end to the eating you up inside. Sure, you'll have to deal with other pain, but you'll get over that, too.

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    • He’s a very good guy. Nothing but respectful. I don’t think he’s doing it on purpose

    • I'm not suggesting he's doing it to be malicious, but I do think he's aware of how it's affecting you. He may believe it's more important to do this the "right" way than it is to put an end to your suffering. He may think he's being more respectful by telling you what he needs to tell you to your face, and in some respects, he is, but at the same time, it's really eating away at you and I highly doubt he's unaware of this.

  • Well it sounds like it. “We need to talk” is never a good phrase and insisting the talk is in person is very likely a bad sign. Still you never know, but I’d brace yourself.

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    • I’m expecting the worst. Crying my eyes out. I’ve done nothing wrong and he hasn’t either. Maybe I’m incapable of being loved.

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    • I do have “catastrophic thinking” and when I think the worst 99 percent of the time it’s never what I thought.

    • Right on. Well I don’t think it’s a stretch to come to the conclusion you came to as I kinda think that too without knowing what going on in your relationship and without knowing either of you.

      That said worrying isn’t going to add one cent to your bank account so I’d try to avoid it if necessary.

  • The human mind has a negative bias

    Why do you assume he wants to break up? Has it not been going well?

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    • I don’t know. The only reason why anyone in a relationship would tell their sign other “we need to talk “ is because of a breakup.

      We have been doing well too.

    • Yeah, to say something like that is a dick move in my opinion.
      I hope it works out for you

    • Thank you !

  • This is all dependent on what happened in recent history

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    • Nothing. We haven’t had a terrible argument. Haven’t seen each other in two weeks due to our schedules. Last time I saw him things went well.

      We’ve been communicating fine while we were away from each other.
      We understand that we can be busy.

  • Someone saying I need to talk is never good.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I wouldn't assume that. He might be telling you about a traumatic experience or an undisclosed illness or a secret debt problem.

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    • It’s plausible. His family dislikes that I’m not catholic.

      He spoke to his godmother and she has been pressuring him. Maybe it has to do with it. The only reason I’ve never met his family was the catholic thing. He told me a couple of weeks ago that that was bothering him because he wants me to meet his family.

    • If he tells you this - tell him there are compromises available that can save the relationship and he doesn't have to introduce you to his family until you guys are engaged or married.

    • Exactly, and I will. I’ve been going to mass and learning about Catholicism myself.

      His mom may be an influence too. His mom was very mad at him because he wanted to become a doctor and not a lawyer. He lives with his patients because he’s working on his masters and it’s cheaper.

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