Is it time to let go?

If after a year and a half of a flirty -"might as well be dating" relationship nothing ever became official is it time to give up and just let him go?

We get along really well and I can see us together in the future but I'm tired of waiting - it's been over a year. He says he's scared and doesn't want to screw it up like he always does.

So what are the signs that it either is/will/won't be official? How do I know if I've been wasting my time... and how do I get over him because I've already tried several times.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You honestly need to talk to him. I know its awkward having the whole "what are we" talk. But it's the only way you're going to get anything out of him. If you want a serious relationship and he doesn't, accept it, and move on. Talk to other guys go out with your friends, do whatever to keep your mind off of him, and hopefully he'll change his mind.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Why do you think you're wasting your time? Why does everything have to be official? Why not be content with what good you already have going on?

    If you've been happy, then you know you haven't been wasting your time.

    I think you're turning the whole thing into some major ordeal. What is going to change drastically after he asks if you'd be his girlfriend? You'd kiss more? Come on. Be realistic.

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    • How was the not being realistic? I'm not going to waste my time being some other girl he can come to for hugs, kisses and to cuddle. Yeah he makes me happy but that's not to say he's not making other girls happy, too. I don't know what kind of guy you are or what relationships you like but I don't like being involved with a guy who isn't committed to me and thinks it's alright to make me feel his own, oh and along with that girl and that other one. It's not okay. It hurts. You be realistic.

    • "Might as well be dating" + a year and a half + since you use grammer, I would have assumed you'd be smart enough to figure that out on your own.

      I worked with what you gave me. "Might as well be dating" implies that there was some sort of security in the relationship, but apparently that's not the case. And considering what he says that "he doesn't want to screw things up" is meaning one of two things: either he is f***ing every other girl you know, OR he might actually JUST care about you,

  • Best to move on! He doesn't want to commit so he can keep his options open just in case something better comes along. Go out and meet other guys, he will get jealous and miss you and will then want to commit.

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What Girls Said 1

  • After a year, it's pretty obvious he isn't going to make his move. I've been waiting for 2 years for my guy to make up his mind and I'm just now giving up.

    I try to remember my past experiences with guys: the ones that wanted me had no problem making it official.

    Us girls always want the guys that don't want us. It's weird that we do that to ourselves from time to time.

    Moving on is hard. It really sucks. The only thing that gets me through is to distract myself with other things. Also, you would be surprised how quickly you get over him when you find another guy.

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