Can you learn from my mistake?

At the time, I was young, ignorant. I neglected the fuck out of her. Didn’t mean to. I truly did love her. At the time I didn’t see it. Now I see it. It was horrible for her. The time I did spend with her, she relished in it. I feel horrible for it now.

I treated her great otherwise. I was a perfect husband... when I wasn’t neglecting her. And that was the thing. I thought I was doing everything right. But I really wasn’t.

I’m like fuck, I really fucked up huh? She didn’t leave, she didn’t run off and fuck someone else it seems. She stayed loyal to me and I was horrible to her. She begged me for sex every night. I tried but At best it was like 3-4 Times a week. I felt harassed. I was the sexiest man in the world to her. She couldn’t get enough of me. I didn’t appreciate it. She wanted to touch me and worship me. I wouldn’t let her. I felt like something was deeply wrong with me. That was cuz of my childhood. I had grown up fucked up. Not gonna tell my life story tho. I thought women hated me. So her advances scared me maybe. I have no idea why my psychology made me reject her so much. It wasn’t my libido that was the problem. It was me, the way I was thinking and acting I don’t know I was retarded, seriously retarded.

But even till the very end, she just wanted to love me. To spend time and cuddle and fuck a lot. And I didn’t realize it. Everything would have been different if I would have spent lots more time with her. I’m so stupid.

Now she’s with some dude and they have a kid. We also have a kid so yea that’s a weird thing. I’ve moved on and really learned my lesson. My next relationship is gonna be hella good. I truly forgive her for anything bad she did. It was all my fault anyways. I hope she’s happy.

I feel that I couldn’t have learned a lot about myself without all of this. It’s all been transformative in a positive way even though divorce sucks and it’s horrible that I broke her heart. And I now know I did.
Can you learn from my mistake?
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