Have an opinion?
Some of the reasons I've been told guys do this is because they don't want to hurt the girl. Maybe the girl is a really nice girl or very sensitive and they don't want to hurt her feelings. He could also know that the girl is very dramatic or immature and might not be able to handle the truth in an adult manner. She might blow up his phone, yell and scream at him cuss him out possibly become physical if they meet in person. He just doesn't want to have to potentially deal with all of that.Another reason is to protect himself he knows she might possibly say horrible things that might make him feel really bad. He doesn't want to feel guilt or hear anything negative about himself and would rather ghost her. He could also be a narcissist and just enjoy using girls for narcissistic supply and discarding them when he''s finished with them. He could also hate confrontation and avoids it all costs and just ghosts. Lastly it's easy to just ghost and disconnect yourself from the situation and pretend like it never happened because he probably will never see or hear from her again after he disappears.Just some of the possible reasons...
I can’t figure this out myself, I’m currently going though this in a way. Haven’t been completely ghosted but went from calling several times a week and texting to no clas and texts once a week. I’d rather him just tell me he’s not interested then play this game. I don’t go out of my way to talk or text him anymore. But I’m not sure why they do this.
I sometimes believe that its because whoever's doing the ghosting either doesn't want to own up to their feelings, or something happened to make them feel like they had to ghost. I don't know.
Usually you have to tell them why. Just strait up saying I'm not interested just isn't good enough usually. It's easier to ghost, and I think it can be nicer sometimes. If a girl is ugly or unattractive as fuck, the last thing I'd want to do is damage to a girl's self esteem, confidence, self image, or what ever by saying the strait up truth of why I don't want to be with her. There could be other reasons too. I'm an honest person and it doesn't feel right lying to make it seem there is another milder problem of why not. It's easier to just ghost... when I didn't ghost, I've gotten incredibly rude and very defensive answers that usually we're immature and lots of swear words involved even from "mature women" that are older than me.
Id like to ask why youd be with her if you felt like that towards them, but i know (may not be you in particular) that a common response would be to get in her pants and leave. Got a lot of dbags like that out there that are content with that, but its not my place to judge.
Because you don't know what you get in all circumstances. My particular experience was with online dating where they would put a pic of a more attractive, prettier girl for their pictures... Then when you go to video chat or meeting up or something, the first thing that comes to mind is... WTF? you could have been just texting for a few weeks too, then that happens... then the ghosting occurs.
Catfish situation, yikesss!😱
I've only ever ghosted one ex-girlfriend in the past and it was because I partly couldn't make up my mind and partly because I felt guilty and didn't want to face her emotional breakdown (which came as I expected eventually). It's like as soon as she starts crying and pouring out her heart, you feel responsibility for it even if you have no intention of staying with her. That was when I was younger. I'm more mature now and I wouldn't ghost someone. I recently broke up with someone and told her straight that she was not what I expected, was lazier than I thought, and was holding me back generally. Not too much drama and we parted ways.
The way it should be! Talked about like civil adults
I hate the majority of the girls comments in this section so i'm piping up my hot cup of tea. I do it to girls and guys- in or out of relationships. Why the fuck do I have to explain why i'm not interested in someone who i'm not interested in wasting more time on... Just because they're an insecure person who can't get over themselves? It's a fucking stupid expectation to "explain" yourself... or to come up with excuses... like seriously? Grow up! They should come up with their own excuses to help them get over it. The other person isn't going to baby them. It's pathetic really- it holds so many people back and it's pointless. No one is ever going to be happy with what they hear. Get over it, not everyones going to appreciate everyones quirks- the whole world doesn't have to like you. jfc I'm fucking triggered lmao
I think knowing would help a person move on. If they aren't sure what's happening, they'll likely feel anxiety from being unsure. It just helps get through the break up or move on process faster. I don't see how it would be related to being insecure.
@cavmanier I definitely agree, but I still believe that they don't owe them. Where I'd feel obligated to "owe" someone an explanation is if the relationship had true love and respect... then that the person does deserve an explanation. If the person chooses not to give an explanation they are just being an inconsiderate asshole. Simple. They still would have to get over it though, it's better to not hold any expectations.
then that person does deserve an explanation*
I'm not sure if we ever really owe anyone literally. (Not like in a legal sense). Maybe I'm interpreting her wrongly.I think it may more awkward than beneficial to tell someone they aren't interested after a date or two. Are people mad about that? Lol. That's been going on forever. One time I even dated a girl for a few months and we both just stopped contacting each other. That was kind of bad but she later called and we talked as friends. I didn't sense any animosity. We just kinda felt inclined to move on.I think it makes sense to talk to the person if you sense the other person has feeling or you once did. Otherwise, I can see the awkwardness of each person not caring much not really being worth an explanation.Lets see how that'd go. "Hey, I know we had two 1.5 hour dates and we've texted for two weeks. I haven't felt much though. I don't think we're a great pair. I wish you the best in life though!"
If the person that got "ghosted" (we never used that term) was hurt, I think it's morally right to be sympathetic to them. I wouldn't disappear.
@cavmanier Ah, I see what you mean! It is very easy to say "hey i'm not interested" and it's very kind and helpful. I agree that this is necessary and helpful, most times.I just felt it was important to make a point that if someone doesn't provide an explanation as to why they weren't interested- they don't owe an explanation and they shouldn't dwell on it.My tactics of approach still require some finesse and grace. Thank you for approaching this matter in a very respectable manner. I appreciate you and your patience to try to connect and understand in order to share your view in the process.
Tbh i don't know. I am kinda facing the same thing but not really. I have a crush and he knows i like him and we were real good friends even when he knew but recently he had just been ignoring me and stuff and its like what the heck cuz I've been nothing but nice to him and vice versa. If he don't like me then why can't he just be straight up like i don't get it. I won't be mad. We used to talk all the time and i really miss him😢 but whatever i guess that's life, people cone and go.But back to your question, i guess its because they either dont wanna hurt your feelings, they don't understand their own feelings, or maybe he mad at u or something I don't know.. Its tricky..
I feel like this can happen for tons of reasons. For me the only reason I ghosted ever was because I am a bleeding heart and when I ended that relationship I dont just stop caring. And wI KNEW its gonna get so drammatic its was gonna suck me right back in. I had an ex who was so clingy and terrifyingly psycho. That I moved and didn't tell her. Months later I called her and apologized and even then it was so dramatic and tearful full of f*ck yous and I love yous and you are dead to mes. In my case hurts me to see someone hurt. So before I was able to build a wall of I am not responsible for how she feels anymore I ghosted that one time. She went off to be homeless and ride trains or something. I can't help but feel the tiniest bit, responsible to this day even though I know she's nutteir than a planters factory
I'm sorry it resorted to that. I ghosted a guy once, but my reasoning for it was bc I was 16 and more immature, I got embarrassed to be with him for some reason and left with my best friend at the time in the middle of the towns fair so he didn't even know I left. Blocked him for a couple years and cut all ties. Really shitty thing to do bc he did nothing wrong, I was just a judgmental idiot at the time. But growing up a little and still witnissing it happen to others, I needed some enlightenment
Its rude when either gender does it and its a lack of both courtesy and courage to not inform the other. Even texting-a lousy way of dumping someone is better than ghosting. I believe women are probably more prone to doing this because men usually are the pursuers and women can have cause to worry about stalking. Ironically ghosting might conceivably lead to stalking like behavior if the person holds hope that the communication blackout has some other reason (don't underestimate people's propensity for self delusion)
Guys who ghost women, or chicken chips! The guys who ghost women Vice telling them that they don't want to be with him anymore are scared of the woman telling them all of the negative things about themselves. When a man is faced with breaking up with a woman he gets nervous because he doesn't know what the woman is going to say or how she's going to react. Plus if he ghosts her and he feels different in a day or two he can always just use the excuse that he had something on his mind. It's a horrible way for a guy to second-guess his own decision but many men do it.
I don't go see anyone I can be grown enough to tell you what's going on with me I was ghosted today I'm not going to bitch about it but at least give me a reason why I know that I can carry on a damn conversation I'm not asking you to fall in love with me I'm asking for a conversation is there one of my big lots of different times if you ask them for a conversation I'm carrying on a conversation why would you ghost me because of some things and questions you ask me that put you in a position where you didn't want to be
Did getting ghosted make you feel as if you did something wrong? You could have been perfectly fine & then bam. Whoever you were talking to disappears as if nothing happened and you feel as if youve wasted a small portion of your life. Maybe there truly isn't a why kind of answer to my question bc you'll never know.. All you know is what others tell you and all we have is an opinion compared to the answers we really lack.
I mean it was only a conversation but if you didn't want to talk anymore just say so I mean hell I'm a grown man 62 years old you ain't hurt my feelings just leave the conversation not say nothin like you was catfishing that's why it seems now but I don't do things like that I'll just tell you I got to go things are not it wasn't I love wasn't Romance wasn't a long distance relationship it was just a conversation
I feel you on that
But you know you're going to run into him here anyway somewhere along the way but it's all good we clicked I just thought we'd have good conversation and she act like she wanted a conversation just like I did so that was the end of that no more questions about it but that ain't what it was so no use crying over spilt milk it'll all come out in the wash and I'm still going have a good day I appreciate your time thank you much hope to run into you again to
Well I am sorry that happened to you and I hope your evening is better!
I appreciate that everything is going to be good there's always another fish in the sea for a conversation it will be fine and I appreciate your time really I do it's all good thanks for being so nice
But thank you for being so nice about everything I mean it really wasn't nothing but I just didn't understand that bullshit like I was being catfished really but I'm not going for that shit
Fear of facing other people? Fear of the same feeling you get when you want to tell someone you don't want to be with them or don't agree with them, but you are like a little embarrassed to tell them, cause you fear they will create a drama scene or not agree with you, making you look like a dushbag...Fear of rejection/argument/drama mostly.
I've been ghosted by an ex, and it hurt a lot to be left without any explanation whatsoever, when everything appeared to be perfectly fine. It's very rude to break up with someone and not even tell them what went wrong, how are they supposed to learn or improve themself if you don't tell them what the issue is? I'd never be able to just un and leave like that, I'd be open and honest.
Exactly.. I suppose its just one of those situations where there's 2 kinds of people. A difference in people maybe. Its shitty
Cause guys are already ghosts that haunt everyone... they just want as many girls as possible to show off infront of their friends... if they leave you... their reputation in front of their friends... goes down...Their friends mock at him saying... you can't even handle a girl...They don't want to be made fun of... in front of friends So they just keep passing time with the girl they don't like or hate... until they find a legitimate reason to blame girl and leave her
Because some guys don't like dealing with the response of the breakup. "Whyyyy? What'd I do?" *Sob*. It can be an uncomfortably long conversation where the decision to break up doesn't change, but perhaps she doesn't like the answer so then maybe it just turns into a big argument with no change in result. Ghosting isn't necessarily the right way out, but it is usually the easy way out.
I'd say, some people lacks qualities in their personality and avoid delicate situations. Maybe because, they are insensitive or simply because they over estimate their power in a relationship and don't want to see you cry all you tears or pass out after they announce the good news that they are leaving
If you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all. If a girl is boring and makes you want to swallow broken glass when you talk to her then you probably shouldn't tell her that lmao. She'll feel a lot better about being ghosted if she knew what it was saving her from. Just keeping it real.
Orrrrr.. You could literally be real with her & tell her how boring you believe her to be and after that bandaid is ripped off, she shall go away on her own because you offended her even if it is the truth.
@YourTypicalUsername Then you risk your reputation being tarnished by being an asshole. Its better to leave no impression than a bad one. Respectfully, you'll lose this debate I know how women work and the best way to get out of certain situations lmfao. Women don't want the truth no matter how much they say they do.
I really didn't expect the topic of why people ghost to be as controversial as it is. Interesting insight though. I've always had the truth handed to me instead of being blissfully ignorant so maybe thats why Im so headstrong towards being completely honest and having others be honest with me
@YourTypicalUsername I believe that people should be honest when the truth really matters. Telling a girl why you ghosted her doesn't do anything but upset the girl. I must admit, I see where you are coming from as well though. Be honest with her so she can possibly improve the situation rather than ignore her and the situation. I think it depends on the reason she is being ghosted to be honest.
Very very true. Thank you for sharing your opinion with me!
I was about to say "why do girls ghost guys" as a response but then I saw the rest. I never thought about it until it was done to me... once I thought about it... it's just easier than having to explain yourself that has all these hopes and feelings, and you just don't want to deal with it.
So the majority of amswers is that its easier... Plain and simple. Rather than having to be confrontational? I know it goes for both genders, but i needed to hear from the opposite
I mean yeah... it sucks trying to explain to someone that is pleading and crying in hopes that you'll just keep them around, but irl you just want to move on. It's sometimes easier to just not deal with that shit at all and go silent.
Because some pansies are afraid of confrontation and think running away from a problem instead of actually facing it will solve it.It all seems great now, but eventually it'll come back to bite 'em in the ass!
That's kindof how I feel about it.
That's pretty much all I can think of as far as possible reasons.
@Burgerboy21Lol how will it come back to bite us in the ass? If a girl gets ghosted then the guy lost interest, they need to get over it. I just ghosted one yesterday and it was because she was boring. You suggest I call her boring and uninteresting to her face? If you can't say anything nice then say nothing at all, pansy.
Perhaps because not saying it out loud makes them feel better.- You don't have to go into a "fight" by facing the reaction of breaking what was going on.- They dont have a valuable explanation to give.Kinda the same reason perhaps why do people leave their pets behind when the summer comes instead of bringing it to a shelter?
SimpleIf girls can ghost, why men cannot?
It goes both ways, but its a cool concept if by being kind and respectful everywhere, ghosting could become obsolete.
U have ur answers
Well, no one really has any obligation to reply to anyone else, so ghosting is totally acceptable, it's only frowned upon because some people get butthurt about it. For every person that's mad about getting ghosted, they've probably ghosted 5 other people in the past.
You're not wrong. I've ghosted somebody before and its happened to me a couple of times, its good to have a guy's perspective on why they do it though.. But even though replying isn't an obligation, it just doesn't seem right to me to ghost people
Yeah I get it. It can be frustrating to start falling for someone only to have them start ignoring you out of the blue. Another reason might be that the person started talking to another guy/girl and didn't want to lead you on out of respect. Probably a less likely scenario, but it is possible. Also, I know I've ghosted people simply because they were boring and didn't know how to keep a conversation. Just because you're hot doesn't mean you can be boring lmao
Because sometimes guys feel the girl is emotionally so attached to you, that you can't stand the heartbreak she'll go through. You try doing it someday, and it never comes. And so, he slowly fades away from her life, taking the pussy route
Hypothetically, If you're man enough to believe it will be heartbreak for her and still ghost, I think it's still shitty to do, but what do I know💁
No, you are absolutely right. It's fucked up and shouldn't be done. Just giving you a perspective
I appreciate it! Im just bouncing another perspective off of yours
If the person is indecisive or childish then don't expect anything serious. Consider ghosting as nothing serious. Time is money why should you wait for them to grow up?
I'd be respectfully up front and honest.just be honest and things will go easier, or not, but the point is honesty (although maybe not too much of it in certain cases)should be used as a good thing.
I wish it worked that way in more cases
well I believe in fixing things or solving things or being honestbecause I like positivity, and where most things if not everything is good sound and normal, and cause I don't think it's that fair or nice to just forget about someone rather than just being honest and respectfuleven if they don't take kindly to it, at least you tried doing what seemed good fair and right
A lot of them find it an amusing game. So immaturity or cruelty. Or they might not wish to hurt her feelings. So a warped sense of kindness.
Pretty warped. Just like society
Uhhhh, I don't believe that tbh.
You don't believe that these are reasons (yet not the only ones) in which (plenty of) men do this to women? I don't understand why not. It's factual. A lot of them do it for such reasons.But you can believe what you wish. *shrugs*
I don’t know a single guy who thought it was “amusing” do to that, even the biggest players!!!
Lol. You're only thinking in your experience though. I'm sure there are men out there who have done as such for such reasons. If women can do it, men can too.
Because they don't want to hurt your feelings and many times people will try to work things out and drag the whole thing out, sometimes resulting in people sticking around in an unhappy relationship.
Because its easy, and it leaves a chance for them to come back if theyre needing an ego boost. People aren't gpod with being up front lol
That is true.
Lot of truth there.
Laziness, don't know how to communicate, fear of a "difficult" situation, bad manners, found someone else and don't care about the first girl anymore.
I'm starting to understand now, but its shitty that 'ghosting' is what it has come down to and the fact that its even an ongoing act
Totally agree instead of being "mature and men" and be honest and tell the lady they dont want to be with her anymore, like a man, they act like kids, keeping quiet and htey are not honest
Because men tend to put more effort on finding a partner than women due to its consequences. As long as you aren’t ultra handsome, men have to work more on finding potential partners, while even an average women might be hit on every second day and is able to choose between loads of opportunities. It’s the fear of not finding someone else fast and staying alone for a very long time, after being used to a relationship.
It is so surprising how men think women are constantly hit on. For every single guy you THINK are chasing a women you’re interested in, there are actually five guys too afraid to approach her. Not to mention for every 20 that do hit on her, she’s only slightly interested in maybe 1.
It’s not about who a women is interested in, it is about women being constantly hit on. Even average women are being hit on or catcalled often while men have to be ultra handsome, in order to be eyeballed by a women.
*on whom a woman is interested in
At your age, i agree but as you age and I’m not taking decades I’m taking years, it slows down. Availability is smaller as people your age pair up and as you all (both sexes) start to learn real rejection. People get scarred and aren’t as open each other.
either they haven't had it done to them or they just don't care. It's easier to ghost, especially if people like avoiding confrontation/emotion, OH WAIT THATS THE WORLD
Because ghosting has no reprocussion, no awkward: "But why don't you like me?" conversation. Or the dreaded "No, we can work this out, please!" conversation.
Because he might feel addicted to you in a way that, letting you go would mean self chosen loneliness. And listen up girls, a potentional lonely guy is ready to a loooong way to avoid that.
You're not wrong.. 😕
I think because it seems like the easiest path to take at that moment in time. However, as we grow (in wisdom) I believe we look at how our choice impact the long term. ( at least for me)
Afraid of having to explain it to them why they want to leave them.
Why do women just GHOST men, when things seemed to be OK, then suddenly nothing?
Because they think that's the easiest way to end things.
I've only ghosted it when they deserve it. Like blowing up my phone because it takes me a whole hour to text back, or dumping her emotional drama on me like we are married after one date.
It's kind of an awkward convo, and the ghosting lets the person avoid that unpleasantness. No one wants to think that they're the asshole/bitch breaking someone's heart.
Right, but you'll always have to live with it. But from a guys perspective, having to live with it wouldn't be so bad if they didn't have to see the girl again..
I think ghosting is bad. After my break up having mine and his reasons for it help smooth it. When my friend ghosted me, i cried, hoped and suffered for months. That messy ending hurts for a long time. A clean break hurts bad, but shortly.
I am not like this but I can imagine, the guys that do this are just inmature as the girls who do it too are also inmature. I never ghosted a girl, but I've been ghosted 99.9 % of the time. Still waiting for karma.
Cause they can't be bothered to deal with the consequences of their actions. But it doesn't only apply to man, that's why people ghost in general.
"Consequences" of NOT liking her? How is that consequences of their actions, we shouldn't have to worry about any consequences just because we don't like the woman..
Did you read the question? Thus is about ghosting. Not liking.
immature, lazy, rude, coward, liar... to name a few reasons why a guy would avoid being honest.
Cos he doesn't care about the girl’s feelings at all and thinks about nothing but his own.. he got bored so he left thinkin ‘im prolly gonna find someone better bye’
So many different situations and scenerios. Pretty crappy it got so bad in our generation now, that it has a name.
Everyone ghosts. Not one gender or the other. Why? Because you've lost interest and have no back bone to tell the other person
It's easier to just ghost her than telling her "hey I had a good time with you but after that fuckin wack sex you gave me i just feel like we can't see eachother ever again" lmao
Why? If you had sex you didn’t liked her?
Because I'm not a douche I would hurt her feelings
But if you disappeared after having sex you already hurt her and a lot ! She might feel that you hated her
True! But it's easier to just walk away like deuces
True but you could have told her “ you know I am too busy to have a relationship I don’t think it would work out you should not have any hopes but I liked to expend some time with you bye “ then you ghost her at least she would not have hopes
That's to much work tbh lmao
i have no idea... we love our parent but they never breakup with us, at that point where we make breakup in spite of love... i seem this happen for love with conditionally alongwith attachment
Doesn't want to get his car destroyed? Puppy stabbed? Accused of rape?
Guys/men could say the same thing about females lol.
Cause, they are a dick. I hate men and women like this.
Because guys are chicken..And ghosting keeps option open for future
Avoids conflict and having to explain your reasons and such.
I tend to talk with them as if I was one of their "girlfriends" so they know someone is always there for them.
Because in our modern society we raise boys to act like women and be ashamed of the brutal honesty of "toxic" masculinity.
Because guys are so coward to hurt the girls feelings so they are waiting for the girls to be the one to end it...
Cowardice and/or lack of respect. You'll find that a lot with the last couple of generations unfortunately.
Because people don't know how to express themselves. And say what is on there minds. I don't ghost anyone. I tell them how I feel. And if I am not feeling them they will be the first to know.
I have, but apparently some dont receive my thoughts even though 'its staring them right in the eyes'
Because saying it burns the bridge. You can come back from a ghosting!
Not necessarily true.
Because it’s easier for him to ghost her than to tell her he doesn’t want her
Maybe its easier, but then that would leave me asking why guys can't be more straight up regardless of the outcome? (I know it goes for both genders, I was just wanting to understand it from a guy on this one.)
Because he doesn’t want the girl to yell at him
So?😂 It could definitely be worse, but I gotchu.
The path of least resistance is usually the most taken. If you could choose to press block or have a long uncomfortable conversation which would you or anyone most likely pick?
When I end up ghosting someone its because theyve annoyed me or I've lost interest.
We are scared they will react angrily or be vengeful. So just ignore it and it will go away.
there's only so many situations you can ignore though until it catches up to you?
Well yes but most people realize they are being ghosted and stop.
i did tell her but she keeps on texting me so gosted
It's really simple to ghost, but out of respect of the person, it's better to let them know
Either out of malice or because he's scared to be real. Either way it's a indicaton he's a shitty dude. Move on.
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