Why does my ex-girlfriend do this?

Sorry this is a little long...

My ex and I have always been good friends and have dated off and on. I've always had very serious feelings for her, but the relationship just never worked out. She always seems to come around enough to lead me on and then leave and let me down. She moved away for awhile and I didn't have any contact with her for over a year. She moves back in the area and contacts me. We hang out a few times as friends and then for two months we don't talk.

Fast forward to a few night ago. We get together with a few other friends and go out. I'm not drinking because I'm driving and have other responsibilities. She starts coming onto me. It progressively gets more and more obvious. She's drunk telling me things like I mean a lot to her, she's missed me, and all these other things. I have my guard up the whole time, because she's hurt me in the past. She's not giving up. After an hour goes by, I slowly start to give in, because I do have feelings for her after all. Although, this whole time, I know she just wants to "get laid".

I make me friend of mine drive her home, so I don't have to deal with her as another friend and I follow them. I notice her start coming onto him while they were ahead of us. He didn't give in and is very resistant, thank god.

We get her to her house, and she's all over me again, telling me all this crap again, trying to get me inside. I'm NOT going to take advantage of a drunk girl. I told her, as a test, "if you feel this way tomorrow, call me" She's starting to get very angry with me as I'm resisting, kisses me, and walks into her house.

I get back to the car and my buddy immediately starts apologizing to me about her coming onto him. I'm not upset with him for that. It's not his fault.

Needless to say, she hasn't called me. I wasn't expecting to her to. And in all honesty, I never want to see her again. I'm extremely angry with her. I don't want this non-stop cycle to continue, but every time she comes around, this crap happens. But in another sense, I really want to talk to her and resolve this. I'm not even sure if she remembers much of what happened, or she's possibly still really upset with me, though she has no right to be, I think anyway.

Should I just let it at this and move on and try not to talk to her? Or should I try to resolve this? She does mean a lot to me as a person and as a friend and I want this resolved, but I think it's better off I never speak with her again so this doesn't continue. I'm not sure what to do at this point...


0|0
32

Most Helpful Girl

  • Did she ever love you back? I've dealt with a lot of this weird behavior. But in my opinion if she did very much love you, and the fact that she is saying how special you are, maybe coming on to you is the only way she knows how to try and get closer to you and when you didn't she felt rejected and because she's acting on her emotions she was embarrassed to get back to you. If she didn't ever seriously love you, ya maybe she is playing games. But in my opinion, if she was playing games, she probs would have just called you the next day cause she wouldn't have cared. You let me how she felt. It seems like she is really immature about handling these things regardless of how she feels and maybe needs a little time to grow up. You can always call her now and ask if she meant what she said the other night, no nonsense. I've been in similar situations on your end and acted funny because of how I felt and embarrassed by how I felt. But I've grown up and I'm at the point where I want to just ask straight up. Tell her you care.

    0|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Do yourself a favor and keep your contact with her brief and rare. I was in a relationship with a guy that was like that and though I kept believing him when ever he would come around and start flirting and wanting to be with me, I can see very well now that I was just being used when he needed me that way. 6 years later... I think I might have learned my lesson, just sad that it took me so much time and heartbreak to learn it. I stayed strong for a while each time, but the longer you are around someone who you do care about (even if its not romantic anymore, just a friend) the greater chance you will get sucked into something that you don't want.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It doesn't seem like she's worth the heartache. You seem like a really nice guy and she seems like she doesn't respect you enough to consider how you feel. I know it'll be hard, but you need to give her the boot. She is treating you like trash, but you are worth so much more than that. When the right girl comes along, she will be everything you could ever want and more. Be patient. It'll happen. :)

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 2

  • I know you love her and care for her but.. She just using you has her little yo~yo going in and out her hands. Put a stop to it. I know its hard but try to find someone who doesn't drink as bad and a girl with a better personally and who is not into games. Just take it one day at a time..

    0|0
    0|0
  • not sure of what to do... well, try this... keep her at a distance... she doesn't love you. She only wants you when she wants something... Use your head, dude. Don't be a stupid guy.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...