My boyfriend and I were Romeo and Juliet, no fights no problems zero, it was beyond perfect. Then about 4 days ago he left me and said he wasn't ready for a relationship because he has to get his life together. I had a complete mental breakdown when he left me and I begged him to come back all that next day. Then I went straight no contact on the same day and am trying to work on myself and my own issues while hoping to god NC will work and he'll come back (haven't even been on facebook, completely disappeared). What I'm worried about is that he initially wanted to not speak to me for a while when he left me, and he's already a somewhat antisocial person in that he goes months without talking to his friends. I'm his girlfriend so it's a little different but will No Contact really work on someone like him? If he's kind of a loner will he still get lonely and contact me? I don't want to wait months and I don't want to lose him. He says he "fell out of love" but I just think he's direly confused right now and plus I was always around him and we got too serious about the relationship too fast. He definitely still cares, when I broke down at my grandmother's house afterward, my cousin asked him to call my grandmother, and he did, then he called me very concerned and talked me down. We didn't do anything extremely damaging in the relationship, no cheating, no fighting, nothing, it was literally a shock when he told me we weren't doing okay. I just messed up a little, got clingy and emotional and I'm working on my problems now so I can be a better girlfriend when he comes back.
I just need some assurance that No Contact is going to affect him the way it's supposed to. Am I doing the right thing? I want him back.
Most Helpful Girl
I just had the same thing happen to me 3 weeks ago. Managed no contact for a few days and then broke down again. Its hard when your hearts so broken. We (my ex and I) are now on barely talking terms as we went from relationship to mates to me being upset now he is pissed of as I acted quite psychotic last night as he was ignoring me. For me having my heart broken for the first time I've found it quite overwhelming and I agree with the girl below that you have to do NC for YOURSELF, take it from me who has just been through it getting rejected through contacting them makes it substantially worse. Every time you contact you take ste backwards your head gets tired etc.
If he changes his mind he will do that, but you have to look after yourself now. I also went down the route of blaming my clingy behavior but as time has gone on I've realized that I was like that as he wasn't giving me 50:50 or the reassurance I needed either. As a mate which we tried last week until it got to my birthday (3rd dec) - I needed some support. He was exactly the same even outside of the relationship he couldn't deal with someones emotions and being selfless and that showed me massively that sometimes when guys are like that, can't talk, can't work through problems, and instead walk away. Until they grow up and realise... whether that's next week or in 4-5 years they are the SAME people. Being emotional is something two people as boyfriend/girlfriend or friends work through together and is not a reason to resent yourself or want to change - he caused that emotion through suddenly ending things WITHOUT explaining or working at it.
I know its hard to believe but you did nothing wrong at all. Stay strong. I hope he changes his mind but please think of yourself now, he has done the same