Why won't my boyfriend let me do things for him..cleaning, shopping, etc?

He is so busy with med school, and towards the end of the qtr his funds get really low and run out. I have plenty to help him, why won't he let me? I keep thinking it has something to do with him not loving me, wanting attachment to me because I have said I love you to him, and he hasn't. He is also very guarded and has admitted to having a hard time getting close to people because of his sister dying 20 years ago. we are in our 5th month of dating, and I really care about him and want to help those I care for, but its almost like he would rather push me away? help!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Look at it this way, at least he as ambition in life. You could have a boyfriend who wants you to do everything for him. Which is much worse. Now I'm not sure of what age your boyfriend is. But I will use my moms boyfriend for an example. He will never let my mom pay for anything. He will clean his own house, and shop for his own clothes. He doesn't want my mom to do anything with that. It would take away from him being a man. Now not all guys are like this, but my moms boyfriend is very old fashion, but seeing how he is about to be 60 soon that's not surprising. If you really are anywhere from 36-45 years of age, and your man is even 10 years older than you. You two grew up in two different generations where the lifestyle is completely different. IF you are younger than him, he is going to want to feel like a man, and that he doesn't need help. Being he's in med school, its either he's starting schooling really late, you are dating a guy younger than you, or you aren't really in that 36-45 age range. All of which are important to know because his behavior based on generation will help me help you understand why he is doing something. A man my age (early 20's) and a guy in his mid-to-late 30's might do the exact same thing in regards to what you are talking about, but for extremely different reasons. I could sit here and type to you what most guys in specific age ranges will respond to certain behaviors, but it would be much more helpful if you gave that information out so we (everyone one girlsaskguys) will be able to more accurately give you reasons as to why he might be doing such things. Some things don't require age difference and is solely on natural guy thought process, but other things, such as this, tend to be more generation oriented problems.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • 1. don't clean for him, 2. don't shop for him. That will make him feel like less of a man. Instead, surprise him with dinner, buy him a gift. If its a gift and out of love he will be liekly to appreciate it, but a handout because you feel sorry for him could be degrading. And 5 months is still very new.

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  • 5th month. of course he's rejecting your financial help. that's a bit too soon to be accepting money from the person you are dating

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