I keep asking for help on how to get my ex-girl back. I have already told her how I feel, and it didn't work. She is with her ex now and that is the reason she broke up with me (we were great together, but she said her heart was meant for another). It's been a few months, and it's ruining my whole life. I use to be strong, hardworking, have goals and be happy. I am non of these anymore. I feel like a complete loser now. I can't stop thinking about her, and the thought of maybe getting back together, but that doesn't look like it will ever happen.
I am tired of this sh*t. I just want to feel normal again, but I feel like my life is over before it began; I am only 25. This girl was the love of my life, and I can't get over those feelings. Knowing that no other guy will ever love her as much as me--not being a prick, but it's the dead truth, and she may never realize that. Does this make me, weak, pathetic, desperate...etc...? Maybe, but I know I can never be happy again without her. No matter what I do, she is in my mind all day and in my dreams all night. I would give up the rest of my life to just be with her one more day or just one more moment of her in my arms.
Girls talk about how much guys are assholes and what not. Well, here I am, all alone. One of the best guys out there...but you know what? Women, at least most women, do not want this type of man...although they may claim to. They want to fall for the bad guy, and when they realize that they don't like them, they want to make them a good guy. Why not fall for the good ones...they are more fun than you might think.
The fact is...I don't see myself ever meeting another girl...one that I can fall for even half as much as my ex. Yes there might be someone out there, but that doesn't mean that I will meet her. I try, but I don't know..I am not a bad looking guy, I am smart, I might be a little shy, but I really do try. It's too easy to tell someone to move on and they will eventually meet the one they are suppose to be with (fate..everything happens for a reason..blah blah)...I tried to believe that but this type of advice, only seems to apply to people that don't need it--but rather need reassurance.
After the break-up...I have been and still am living the worst time of my life. I have experienced intense anxiety/depression...now mainly just depression. I know a lot of people say they go through this, but nobody feels exactly the same, and it's hard to explain, when everyone says they been there. It's been months now, and I don't know what to do anymore...I just know all my problems will fade instantly if I could get back with her somehow, but I realize that she is probably happy, and will probably never want me back. So what do I do now? I don't even know who I am or what I want out of life anymore. I am depressed, work is so slow, everything's not fun anymore and I am not motivated, because I just don't know what I want anymore. Why did this happen to me? Fate? Don't think so.
Most Helpful Guy
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but girls don't want a guy like you. You've got a skewed view of yourself and very little experience with relationships.
However, the good news is you can change all of that but it's entirely up to YOU. No one else. If YOU don't want to change or feel better then it's just never going to happen (much like a lot of issues/problems in life).
The first hurdle you have to overcome is realizing your ex-girlfriend is not the be-all, end-all perfect girl in the world. I can guarantee you that right now. The first problem is this is (from the sounds of it) your first girlfriend/serious relationship so you're going through what a lot of people go through the first time they get dumped; you feel like your life is over when really it isn't (stop being a drama queen, girls don't like that). Second, you're just sitting around moping all day and continuing to build up her "perfection" in your mind. This is a vicious cycle that you need to stop from happening. Recognize when you do this and stop yourself.
The next step is getting some fun and enjoyment back into your life. Where are your friends and family right now? Hopefully you did not completely abandon them when you were with your ex (a common mistake in first relationships). Call them up and make plans. Spend time out of the house and with people that make you feel good. Go out and do activities or play sports that you enjoy. Anything that will get your mind off your ex for a while.
Lastly, start meeting other girls. Get your friends to help you or use an online dating service if you're not confident enough to approach them on your own. Go on some dates so you can see everything that is out there. You probably won't find your next girlfriend right away, but it's all practice that will help you mature and gain confidence. As you meet more and more girls you will begin to see that your ex wasn't exactly the saint you've made her out to be. Soon you will be meeting girls that outclass and outshine your ex, until finally you meet the next perfect girl.
A word of advice, don't whine about how sad/depressed you are after getting dumped with other girls. Don't play the pity card. In fact, don't even mention your ex. Everyone has baggage and everyone has been dumped by that perfect someone.
Eventually you will begin thinking about your ex less and less until a day will go by that you do not think about her, then a week, followed by a month. You will look back one day and laugh at yourself for thinking your ex was the perfect girl for you.1