Why do guys cheat?

so I just found out that the guy I'm sleeping with has a girl friend and I want to know why he cheated on her. I really want to say somethings to both of them but I feel like I should be the better person and just walk away, I have no feeling for this guy any more, I did at one point in my life but it didn't work and now its just sex or at least was just sex until I found out that he had a girl friends, so I guess I just wanna know what makes a man want to cheat? and yes I know women cheat too. I just don't understand why you whould have a relationship if you just want sex, there is a lot of people out there that don't mind just having good sex, why break some ones heart?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The man and women who cheat/have cheated ratio is about the same, this "guys cheat more" thing may have been true in the past but not any longer.

    PEOPLE cheat mostly because of their own fears and insecurities, when someone is insecure they tend to "prove" otherwise, if someone can have more than one sexual partners it may instinctively make them feel powerful. Remember we're animals with the gift of reason, yet, animals. So those instincts may act against us if we let them.

    I recommend you read something from Helen Fisher, an anthropologist who has devoted her life to try to understand love and its consequences, you might like "WHY WE LOVE: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love" this might seem as an ad but I do personally recommend that book. It helped me understand things I pondered about for years, such as your own question.

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What Guys Said 12

  • Girls pretty much cheat for the same reasons guys do nowadays, and the gap on males supposedly doing more is closing.

    Couple reasons why people cheat

    *they are bored with their partner and not attracted to them.

    *they aren't getting enough sex

    *they think they can get away with it, and may not agree with monogamous relationships deep down inside

    *they do it it at the heat of the moment.. They can't control their actions/hormones at that time. Alcohol can be involved.. etc Stupid judgement.

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  • Actually the studies have shown that women are cheating more. Women are going into the workplace and talk more with each other than ever before. The older ideology about sexual satisfaction has been replaced with women who demand to be satisfied (and I support that feeling).

    That coupled with the fact that when two people get married, they often lax on the little things like taking the time to show the other how much you appreciate them. This longing is then replaced by another person if the need is big enough (no pun intended).

    Women are pretty methodical in nature and do fairly well in covering up their tracks. When a guy climaxes he gets this euphoric high where he forgets to put things back in their proper place. Honestly I don't think the guy remembers where everything was since it was the female who placed those objects there in the first place.

    Example: What color is your bedroom walls? What color is your house? What style handles do you have in your place? Men just don't bother to remember the details like those. That's why women make better snipers.

    Mental thought process is also brought into question. When a guy is accused of something, he usually stutters and is put on the defensive. He didn't think of his excuse before doing the act. The female can usually spit out one or two quick answers or goes on the offensive. She will turn the conversation on the man putting him back on the defensive.

    The proof is in the pudding. When a man sleeps with a woman, her scent can be on him. Even with a condom, her juices might be left behind. When a woman sleeps with a man, his evidence might be left inside her. She may be quick to sleep with her man and any fluid would be assumed to be from her partner.

    Physical evidence. A guy will have an erection which is noticeable. If a woman is turned on, the signs are a bit more difficult to point out. Erect nipples, flush cheeks, swollen lips, etc. Those aren't damning evidence and could be dismissed as T.O.M. signs.

    Sometimes people won't break up because of other reasons. Kids, possible alimony, etc. Perhaps they just need to get a fantasy out of their system or to feel attractive again. To fill an emotional void is considered worse than just sex because it is easier for the partner to give more sex than it is to repair the emotional disconnection.

    Personally I have never cheated on any of my partners.

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    • i know girls cheat just as much as men I guess I should have ask why do people cheat? I have never cheated so I just don't understand it... needless to say I confonted him and he said he didn't have a girl friends I wasn't sure if I believed him so I asked one of our shared friends that I knew whould tell me the truth and he also said he didn't have a girlfriend so once agian I over reaceted just like women do. and now he won't accept my sorry and I don't blame him

  • Girls cheat too... last study I read is that women are actually cheating more than men :\ sure you said that, I just wanted to say it myself.

    But, as for why people cheat? It's for different reasons. Usually because they're too immature and self absorbed and selfish to do the right thing and at least break up with the poor person before screwing another.

    Some guys really do want to be with a girl though cause they really enjoy her personality, but they want to have sex with many other women. It is a bit of our old evolutionary standards where it was ideal for men to screw as many women as possible to pass on the seed and whatnot. But, I don't care for that. Here's the thing. We are human, we are to rise above our instincts and evolve beyond them. We are better than that. If you can't rise above your instincts, you fail as a true human.

    I hope you stopped seeing him. You are just as responsible for him cheating on his girlfriend as he is now that you know he has one if you continue to see him. I'd suggest you even tell the poor girl so she won't be hurt anymore by that guy or guys like him. He sounds like a scumbag.

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  • Some guys cheat because:

    1) those guys want to, and,

    2) other women (knowingly or in ignorance) are willing.

    Why would the guy want to:

    - putting own gratification above anyone else's needs for fidelity, trust etc

    - rating sex above monogamy

    - old relationship coming to an end, not wanting any sex free interlude

    If a woman feels strongly that she shouldn't enable such a person's cheating, it is down to her to find out if he is already in relationship(s) before putting out.

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  • why do guys cheat? that's the question? I'll answer this as soon as i"m done answering this question about which is the right religion.

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  • The same reason girls do I guess

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  • assholes and sluts cheat

    REAL men don't cheat.

    end of story

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  • I don't get it myself either. I've been unlucky enough to have stayed single my whole life, and when I see people cheating and being ungrateful and greedy...it really upsets me.

    More people should look at what they have, be grateful and really turn that relationship into something incredibly special...instead of throwing it away.

    It's a shame...

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  • the thrill, they're insecure, they think with their crutch, because they can, numerous reasons.

    just my opinion here, but the better person would inform the girlfriend that she was cheated on...

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  • Girls cheat too. My girlfriend (now ex) went out of state to college and she got a different guy and blocked me from facebook and even changed her phone number to eliminate the possibility of me contacting her ...

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  • dont you think maybe that's one of the first things you shoulda found out before you started f***ing hi. THAT HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND. that's one of the first questions you ask when your into someone. obviously you went about it the wrong way. cause you were to god damn horny. to do the right thing

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    • first off if a guy is calling you to go out for a few beers and you say yes, then he asks you out to dinner and you say yes. then you ask him if he would like to come home with you and he says yes don't you think he had plenty of time to say hey I have a girlfriend "lets not do this" this is in no way my fault and I have no intention of ever sleeping with him agian I feel bad for his girlfriend!

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    • Shut the f*ck up troll and stop pointing the finger at her.

    • also I should mention that maybe she shouldn't be doing "just" anyway. she in a sense is not only the other woman but she's also degrading herself. yall don't see this and your pathetic

  • I would cheat because I didn't feel fulfilled sexually. Yet everything else was okay, is why I'd still want to be with you.

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    • Shouldn't you explain to your partner that she isn't meeting your sexual needs?Better than hurting someone because you're selfish and immature

What Girls Said 11

  • I think that untill you cheat on someone you won't really know the answer to that question. I guess everyones reasons are different and they make different choices that say you and I would never make.

    I think it is a real character flaw for someone to cheat on their partner and I don't believe in keeping it a secret.

    Unfortunately you didn't know and its good to hear that now that you do your more then ready and have already broke it off with him.

    As to if you should tell the girlfriend she has been cheated on... really depends on if you were in her position would you want to know you have been cheated on?

    I know I would, my dad cheated on my mum after 22 years of marriage,

    i would hate to think I could of prevented the pain and agony this girl would go through in say 5 years when her life revolves around him.

    Better now so she doesn't waste years on someone that obviously doesn't deserve her, and so she can move on to a man that treats her how she deserves to be treated.

    And the same with u, you will know you did your best to rectify the situation, with honesty and also make peace with yourself, no regrets.

    Good luck

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  • there are a variety of reasons to why a guy cheats.. they can be such jerks. I mean they should be honest with relationships but not all are.

    some reasons could be:

    -he still likes his girlfriend but he isn't faithful and the player or horny type and not satisfied with one woman. He keeps the one he loves his girlfriend and he uses the others just for sex

    -He's having issues with his current girlfriend and he isn't really trying to fix it. If they fight or other problems go to plan B and sleep with the other chick.

    -He's afraid to hurt her feelings and break up and wants to keep other things a secret

    and many more

    Keep in mind that yes, be that better person and it would be best if you would walk out because you are aware he has cheated. You wouldn't want your boyfriend to cheat on you. Anyways.. tell him that you know about it, that you think it's unfair and for him to either choose or leave you alone. I wouldn't stay with a cheater.

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  • And I am the perfect person to realize that and the reason I do not get into relationships. I like sex and I like to vary it and have always been up front with those that I choose to have sex with letting them know that it is sex and only sex with maybe some fun times outside of sex added in.

    I have no idea why people who what to have sex with more than one person would get into a relationship and then cheat.

    Its so much easier my way! Nobody get hurt or is expecting anything more than some sex out of it.

    For you just walking away is probably the best way.

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  • sorry that happend to you, he obviously never wanted you or her to find out about the other but his plan backfired. I think you should just walk away, its so funny I find myself asking the same question...if someone was cheating on me I think it hurts more to know about it, she will eventually find out, that's for sure...you just shouldn't be the one to tell her, she will catch him if not wih you than with someone else... if you say something it makes you look almost like your jealous or something although if I was her I would want to know.

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  • both genders cheat because they are not happy. But when guys get really close in a relationship too they also cheat because they get scared and want space and the thought of not having a self-identity and that everything is shared is freaky to them. Guys cheat because they don't want the attachment. Whereas, girls cheat because they don't have an attachment and they aren't close to guys. what a crazy world huh? You can give him a chance, but that's some hard stuff to go through. Realizing he did that to her, and if you were with him you'll never know if he'll do it to you. But also wondering he must have a good reason why he would cheat on her, she must not make him happy. But also having that positive thought it could work. Its up to if you really want to try or not.

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  • Well was there any girl stuff like in the bathroom or whatnot at his place (if you went there) if so, put a note on it so she can avoid catching an std...

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  • some guys are genetically dis positioned to be more likely to cheat others just have no moral conscience and respect for other people.

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  • Men that cheat don't respect sex & they don't respect women.

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  • because they are jerks

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  • coz guys only want sex and a girl's body they dnt have emotions

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  • jerk. no other word for it

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