What is your opinion about my ex's character? Can't figure out… Please help!

Here’s the facts of this guy I dated for 2.5 months and can’t figure out if he’s nuts/full of sh*t/too sensitive: He’s 30, successful and was so good to me when we dated. We instantly clicked and were very serious. I was moving away 2 weeks after I met him so he asks to see me everyday before I go and then asks if “I see us going anywhere”. He also asked me to meet his parents right away which I declined for a month. He was always bringing up wedding talk (what kind he wanted, kids he wanted, life plans) and asked me what I wanted to compare notes basically. He said “I can buy you a bigger ring than that” and “I’ll move to wherever you find a job” “I’ve waited my whole life to find a girl like you” “I’m falling in love with you and it scares me so I’d like to slow down” … he was very intense and then when things got to this point he started backing off and seemed freaked out. He showed me every sign that he took me seriously and wanted to possibly marry me. He also got fired from his job during this time. Side note: bought a ring to propose to ex a year ago and she left him.

How it ended: We stopped talking as much, he didn’t know if he wanted to make plans with me… I got sick of this and started giving him ultimatums if he was serious, etc. and asking if he needed space. He says he doesn’t want to lose me through tears but that he doesn’t want to lead me on since he isn’t ready to be in a relationship and I wanted one with him. Finally we went out one night and fought at a bar because we were awkward and the next day he asked for space even though it seemed to be over. He also said we didn’t “click”… like wtf is that if he’s the one pushing me away?! He never called and I was tired of waiting/crying after a week of NC. He denies saying what he did to me in the past, said he didn’t see us in a relationship and that we’re too different and want different things in an angry voice. For the most part though, we always had a blast together and had so many things in common. He also said my sexual past scared him… all reasons that didn’t make sense and weren’t true.

I ask to see him that weekend so I can get closure (he tries to avoid me but I convince him to meet). Night before this I see him at a bar he said he wasn’t going to be at and walk right by him, turn around and he’s gone! When we meet it’s very civil and friendly. He admits to feeling not himself and having a rough time with his life and needs to focus on new job. I really do believe he has a lot of issues to work on with himself (he gave me this reason as to why he can’t be with anyone). He says “I could be making the biggest mistake of my life letting you go” and “maybe when I get things worked out and feel normal again we can be together” and “I just want to be with you but I know that won’t solve the bigger issue” So I left believing things might work out if I just play it cool and that maybe it wasn’t me! He said we could be friends and since I still loved him I
agreed. We sent a few good luck texts here and there for a few weeks. I ask about new job and he seems really happy to hear from me and says he’ll call tomorrow. Then he makes up excuses for days why he can’t call and I get sick of him and call him out
on it. I also call him a coward and since I’m a therapist, I give him a diagnosis through text of his problems! He took me off facebook instantly and says “you’ve just confirmed why we would never work out” and “I never thought it would come to this” I
send apology letter a week later for being so immature and get no response, but a happy Thanksgiving text a week later! No contact since.

Sorry it’s long but what do you think about his intentions and sincerity with me? Was he just in love with the
idea of love or just saying anything to get me to like him? Does he have a fear of commitment? We were a couple in every way, introduced me to everything in his life so why couldn’t he call me his girlfriend? So confused.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You shouldn't have called him a coward. Saying that to a man is an ego crush

    • Agreed and that's why I apologized. I purposely did it to be mean because I was sick of him ignoring me when he knew I was hurting. I know it's bad but I feel that he should be able to eventually forgive me for it. Or hope he does.

What Girls Said 1

  • I think as a therapist you should look internally and analyze yourself. question #1 do you want to be with him? Because all of the actions you take depend on wheather or not you want to be with him.

    • I have been and unfortunately I realized things now that it's too late. I wanted to be with him more than anything but he started pushing me away so I did the same to protect myself. He's hurt me very badly so I'm not sure if I could ever get back together with him. To this day he says he did nothing wrong so it's hard to move forward.

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