Guys: have you ever regretted breaking a girl’s heart?

I’ve been dumped in quite a bad way by a guy just because he didn’t want commitment.

He was very sweet and he acted as if he was deeply in love with me, kept telling me I was important and special for him, but he used to say it was the wrong time because he felt too young to be in a serious relationship (he was 25) (we actually were in a de facto relationship but without the label on it...). I was in love with him and told him. He didn’t even break up with me, he just ghosted me (after 2 years).

I tried to to talk to him months later, I was angry and thought he owed me apologies, but he said he didn’t regret doing anything...

I think what he did was bad and I would like him to realize that and to apologize because that’s not how you treat people. Ghosting someone after 2 years is something not even the worse balles coward would do its really really bad.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Yes, I have regretted the circumstances of it, because the girl was an amazing person, we just were not compatible. She took the breakup hard, and while it was the right thing to do and would have happened eventually, I still wondered what I could have done to make it better.

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    • Hell no

    • Oh sorry wrong question wrong opinion!

  • Of course. But, only if I cared for her. Your guy must not have really cared about you. It must have been a lie.

    The thing is that's what most people do. If they see you're incompatible, they just kinda throw you away. Because their reasoning is, "You are no longer useful to me, and it would take effort and discomfort to sit you down and deal with your flooding emotions. Why would I need to do that when you have nothing I want, anymore?"

    Yeah, people can be pretty selfish. I appreciate people who do do the uncomfortable thing and let them know why they aren't interested; or, at least just let them know that you're going to be leaving.

    I'm kinda in this situation myself. I'm sleeping with different women while in a somewhat "defacto" open relationship. I rationalized it as "helping" her. Because she is entirely broken. I wanted to help her out some, hoping that maybe she can become stable enough to live her life better. I have a soft spot in my heart for bastards, cripples, and broken things. Because I was broken for a long time. She's never had a single boyfriend. Never shared a single kiss. At 23.

    But it ended up being this thing that just drains the energy from me. I don't know. Maybe I was completely misguided and dumb. Maybe this will hurt her more in the end than if I wouldn't have shown any interest, at all. It was just supposed to be a fun game. And she knew that too. But then intimacy started flowing, and for some reason she just hooked me a little. And I rationalized it, thinking "I can help her." Maybe I just wanted that intimacy. I don't know. But, I feel like ghosting her. I won't do it. But it would be easiest.

    It is something I regret. Something I feel bad for. And I haven't even done anything yet. I want her to have a good life. I want her to prosper. But maybe I will be the one who cripples her even more... I don't know what to do. But fuck it. I'll find a way to help her and also. Maybe I can hold out until she finds a guy. Just be a rock for her until that happens.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • U kno defacto means ur livin together right? How has he ghosted if u were livin together? Did u getto keep his stuff?

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    • Lol it means actual, not living together (I studied Latin in school, believe me).

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    • @virginbish and the lawyer has the worst grammar too. It’s just hilarious

    • No she ain't 😏😂😂😂

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What Guys Said 34

  • I don't think you're actually going to get satisfaction even if you get an apology out of him. Moving on is really the only thing that's going to make this any better. He did what he did. He's a jerk and his actions define him. Focus on finding someone else and getting your own heart back on it's feet, recognizing that the longer you focus on him, the longer you avoid recovering from the heartbreak.

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  • Yes. Nobody really wants to break somebody's heart but sometimes you have to make yourself happy. Sometimes it's your own heart that gets broke and you gotta accept people can't help how they feel. Time heals and that's the only cure.

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    • Yes ok but I want that bastard to apologize and for now he’s not done that...

    • That's not going to happen. Let it go or it's going to consume you. Apologizing ain't gonna make u feel no better no way.

  • Every time. We have to be honest with ourselves and face the reality when something isn't working. It's never a happy thing when a couple breaks up for whatever reason. You can be as nice and respectable as possible and still break their heart. That's the last thing I want to do, but it's a necessary evil in order to move on and do what is right for me.

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  • Uh, i regret being forced to. My parents forced me to end things and cut contact with my (now ex) then girlfriend. I regretted even dating her in thr first place because of the pain that ensued when i was forced, all of a sudden, to break up with her. I never wanted to break her heart. But i had to.

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  • You chose poorly, invested heavily in something you thought was something else, and ignored all of the warning signs.
    This is at least half your fault.
    I doubt it had anything to do with committing - more likely he was still looking. You were the backup plan but you kept pushing for it to be more.

    You're not real well connected to reality, are you? And then you blame him. pfft.

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  • I have broken girls hearts before, do I feel bad about it? yes. do I regret doing it? no.

    I had my reasons for it and wouldn't have done it if I didn't. Though I wouldn't ghost someone after 2 years!

    This guy is a Dick, and as much as you might like him to apologise he obviously doesn't care.

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  • I have been accused of that but it was always something that needed to happen. Nobody wants to hurt someone's feelings by breaking up with them or whatever but sometimes it is necessary. When couples break up the faults are with both people but usually the guy will take the bulk of the blame.

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  • The only time I've been accused of "breaking a girl's heart" have been either 1) After she dumped me then I moved on, but she decided that she wanted me, after all; or 2) After she informed me in no uncertain terms that she only kept me around for what little money I had and that she would be happy to get rid of me if she could, so I let her, then she decided that she wanted me, but I had already moved on.

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  • I have never broken a girls heart I'm the one that gets used walked on pushed aside but it's all good I would rather be a lone wolf than a following sheep. But it has made me not trust women at all

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  • And that is why I don't play with Hearts..
    I prefer
    PubG
    And
    AGE OF WARRING EMPIRES

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  • yes I didn't commit to my girlfriend when i had a chance to. i loved her more than anyone. I just needed a week or two to adjust. she passed away in a car accident

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  • It sucks crushing someone like that, but if things ended, regardless of who called the shots, the future will be a billion times better for both people.

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  • I had a girl I was seriously crushing on. Just before she moved away I decided to tell her how I felt. Then I got ahold of her contact info from a friend of her's who wanted me to have her number. So began our long distance relationship.

    I knew we would probably be long distance for more than a few years since I had collage and my ambitions, and she had her ambitions. So after a few months of 'dating', I broke it off with her. She was not happy, but I knew I was stealing her from a possible boyfriend who was right there, in her area. She deserves to be happy with someone who is there for her. She deserves better.

    I was the one thing keeping her from getting what I knew she could get. A boyfriend. A real one who isn't text on a screen. And I still have moments where I hear her voice asking me the haunting question, "*Birdfan*, do you love me?". It tears me apart to this day.

    I don't know what she's doing now, but I hope she's happy.

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  • I'm sorry you've experienced this. There are some women just as bad. I've been treated like this recently as well, from someone I thought was a lot better (and more mature) than that. I also told her how I felt about how she treated me, but got no response at all, never mind an apology. People these days are pretty shitty. Or they are just too selfish to think of anyone but themselves? I think that's more likely what it is. They just don't care/think about what it does to others. So it's time we do the same... take care of yourself and try as best you can to forget about him completely. I know how hard that is though.

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  • Yes I have, she was a girl I dated in the 10th grade of high scool. It's something I've always regretted because she is suck a sweet girl.

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  • Dick move by that guy. What a shame. Not sweet at all. Extremely selfish piece of crap. 25 and still too young for a seriously relationship? That guy is an utter morron. You're better off without him.
    Move on from him. He's a wasted far too much of you and doesn't worry a breath out of you anymore. Look for someone genuinely want a relationship with you.
    You probably already know, but worth checking with people officially and make sure they are looking for a serious relationship with you, before you invest whole heatedly of yourself into him. Utter shame that is really.

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  • Yes i do regret , but then we had some big differences which i was not able to condone anymore, so it was a hard decision that had to be made.

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  • I've never broken a heart, I always get mine broken

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  • I never feel good about that but we are all looking for the right partner. So what else can we do?

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  • That's harsh but I'm guilty of the same thing when I was younger I was just going with the flow then things started to get marriage like and it was intimidated and kinda scary to commit. This was me at the time saying one girl for the rest of my life hell nah. Needed more experience couldn't settle at that time. I ghost her too and mean that was wrong but it felt right at the time eventually i apologize we're kinda friends ish now. I'm wiser now so even though it wasn't me I am apologizing on behalf of all the guys who want to apologise but can't sorry

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  • yeah she made sure I regret it

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    • How did she?

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    • Oh I wish I could destroy his shit laptop too. Or his life. Alternatively.

    • Yeah your ex is a terrible person from the description

  • Yes, never a good feeling.

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  • I have yes. But it was unavoidable.

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  • Commitment is a big choice kinda lame

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  • … as much as ''they'' did breaking mine.

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  • Yes, I do

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  • I regret those times every day

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  • No, never done that

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  • Yes i do regret it

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  • Nope

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What Girls Said 2

  • He's an asshole. Just move on.

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  • Never broken a girls heart...

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