He was very sweet and he acted as if he was deeply in love with me, kept telling me I was important and special for him, but he used to say it was the wrong time because he felt too young to be in a serious relationship (he was 25) (we actually were in a de facto relationship but without the label on it...). I was in love with him and told him. He didn’t even break up with me, he just ghosted me (after 2 years).
I tried to to talk to him months later, I was angry and thought he owed me apologies, but he said he didn’t regret doing anything...
I think what he did was bad and I would like him to realize that and to apologize because that’s not how you treat people. Ghosting someone after 2 years is something not even the worse balles coward would do its really really bad.
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Of course. But, only if I cared for her. Your guy must not have really cared about you. It must have been a lie.
The thing is that's what most people do. If they see you're incompatible, they just kinda throw you away. Because their reasoning is, "You are no longer useful to me, and it would take effort and discomfort to sit you down and deal with your flooding emotions. Why would I need to do that when you have nothing I want, anymore?"
Yeah, people can be pretty selfish. I appreciate people who do do the uncomfortable thing and let them know why they aren't interested; or, at least just let them know that you're going to be leaving.
I'm kinda in this situation myself. I'm sleeping with different women while in a somewhat "defacto" open relationship. I rationalized it as "helping" her. Because she is entirely broken. I wanted to help her out some, hoping that maybe she can become stable enough to live her life better. I have a soft spot in my heart for bastards, cripples, and broken things. Because I was broken for a long time. She's never had a single boyfriend. Never shared a single kiss. At 23.
But it ended up being this thing that just drains the energy from me. I don't know. Maybe I was completely misguided and dumb. Maybe this will hurt her more in the end than if I wouldn't have shown any interest, at all. It was just supposed to be a fun game. And she knew that too. But then intimacy started flowing, and for some reason she just hooked me a little. And I rationalized it, thinking "I can help her." Maybe I just wanted that intimacy. I don't know. But, I feel like ghosting her. I won't do it. But it would be easiest.
It is something I regret. Something I feel bad for. And I haven't even done anything yet. I want her to have a good life. I want her to prosper. But maybe I will be the one who cripples her even more... I don't know what to do. But fuck it. I'll find a way to help her and also. Maybe I can hold out until she finds a guy. Just be a rock for her until that happens.