I’ve been talking to this guy for a while now, and we go to the same school. Throughout the entire thing I’ve been very skeptical about it becoming an actual relationship, as in dating and eventually boyfriend/girlfriend. That’s just not who I am at the moment, relationships aren’t my focus point for where I’m at and what I’m trying to accomplish. However, he’s really sweet and I can tell he’s trying his hardest to impress me. The only downside to our complicated “relationship” is that I was never pshyically attracted to him, but his personality somehow intrigued me, yet I’m starting to dislike his personality as well. He’s clingy and acts like the world is going to end whenever I stop texting him. He becomes paranoid when I’m hanging out with any guys, and even if I’m with my girls he thinks I’m with guys. It’s almost as if we were already dating. We had a short fling a few months back and after that I told him that I wasn’t interested in becoming his girlfriend. We still talk everyday, but when he asks to FaceTime or just meet up in general, I start to make up lies. I would go through our entire past but I can’t fit it all into 2000 words or less. The basics are, we became friends, he was crazy shy and barely talked to me at school, he even completely avoided me at school sometimes, we never even hung out until the beginning of summer. Then we talked and talking turned into arguing almost everyday, and eventually I didn’t mind arguing because I grew so accustomed to it. Now it’s like i lost interest, but I’m still holding onto something that probably isn’t there anymore.
Most Helpful Guys
If you want to salvage this you need to talk to him about the fact that, while you don't want to be mean, if he doesn't find some serious confidence in himself, on his own, you don't see any way this is going to work out. Tell him that so far he's managed to be cute with the shyness but now he needs to show that he's got a next level of manliness under it, and while it may not seem fair to him, he needs to figure it out quickly and without your help, because if you have to help him get there you're going to feel like you had to mother him into whatever manliness he finds. Tell him if this really sounds unfair to him that that's life and you're actually giving more of a chance than most women will.
Expect an argument. Expect bitterness. Expect this to not be fun. Expect that I'm the end there's a good chance it won't work out. If he's going to learn though, someone's got to get across to him that women may want sensitivity, they don't want insecurity in a man.
So, let me get this straight you and him were never in a relationship officially. It was more... like from a friendship trying to become into a sort of relationship. But you had a fling (only that). Girl, your situation from objectively side speaking it's pretty clear. You already said NO.. in being in a relationship with him. So, here is my opinion just call it off and shut it down with him. Talk to him and be honest to him and tell him you don't want to be in any relationship. Give him an explanation only for your reasons. And move on.
Most Helpful Girl
Sounds like there wasn't anything there to begin with. Break it off, sounds like a really toxic relationship. even if you guys were dating, he wouldn't have the right to freak out when you hang out with friends, even guys, let alone if you aren't an item. and you might be hurting him by staying in his life. So break things off, there's literally 0% to gain in mainting him your aquaintance.