Why do you believe women initiate divorces more than men in general?

You'd think there would be an equal amount from each gender but based on research studies, women not only make up the majority who initiate these divorce cases but it's by a landslide with most statistics stating that 70%+ of divorces are initiated by them! Why do you think this is the case? You'd think with men being more aggressive that they would have their fair share of divorces but this doesn't seem to be the case.
Why do you believe women initiate divorces more than men in general?

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Greed. They know the court system will favor them, and they try to move up the hierarchy very quickly. So they get the man's wallet and go f'ck around. And I know most people wouldn't expect this to come from a woman, but I am sick of this disgusting attitude that women in this generation have.

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  • Men have more to lose in a divorce than a woman. If you subsidize a certain behavior, you'll get more of it.
    I don't agree with alimony.

    Also, men tend to become really distant and cheat when a relationship is failing or there's problems. Then the woman gets fed up and leaves. I know they say most divorces are because of finance, but myself personally would be reserved for cheating, or abuse of any kind.

    Also, women pick questionable partners. They pick men who they hope will change. But that's a dumb strategy in my opinion. Pick a partner who already has the traits they like, instead of hoping he'll acquire them later. I know some guys do this too, or overlook serious red flags, but women do it more. I can't tell you how many women think being "exclusive", marriage or even kids will change a man, only to be disappointed when he's still cheating after the vows were exchanged.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • That's an interesting statistic. Do you know what the definition of "initiate" was in this research? I'm curious because in my case she was the first one that mentioned the idea of divorce, but we stayed married for a while after that and I'm the one that actually initiated the separation, moved out, and filed for divorce. So I'm not sure which group I fall into.

    Here's my guess about why women initiate it more. I think it might be because guys are less willing to admit that something's wrong. A lot of guys like to think they can fix anything and it's harder for them to accept failure at something. My guess is that the statistics would be similar for who initiates marriage counseling when the problems first start to get bad. That's something else I did, but from what I've heard most guys resist even going, much less be the ones to suggest it. If so, that seems to be evidence for my theory that guys think they can fix it and don't need anyone's help - or perhaps are just unwilling to acknowledge that the marriage is failing and needs outside help.

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    • This question got me curious and prompted me to start a poll of the GaG community to see what the percentages are here. Of course a lot of users here have never been married or are still married, so I might not get enough responses for it to be meaningful.

    • This is something worth thinking about because while many articles use initiation in a vague way, I'd like to think it's whoever called out the divorce first when the papers were signed over. In your case, you would have been the initiator since you were the one to who decided to file the papers before your ex-wife, even though she "mentioned" the idea before you did.

      As to your other question about this matter, you could also gather data from people who have divorced parents like I do or from a close friend who experienced this same thing. It might not be entirely accurate to what you're looking for but it's something! Thank you very much for your highly valued opinion on this matter!

    • We all know the reason why women initiate more divorces. Divorce courts favor them and after the divorce they still plenty of options for men to date while the man is ruined.

  • LOL, it's because MEN have the most to lose during the divorce.
    whereas most women from my observation only do it when they can guarantee their financial stability and lifestyle.
    If the guy has much more money than her, she will "try much harder" :) than in the scenario where their income is relative.
    This is one of the main reason. Most men (actually all men i know) make more money than their partners, some by 5-10x.

    please don't hurt me

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What Girls Said 34

  • Usually the man is the one who brings the wealth, his not usually dumb enough to start a divorce because he knows he will usually have to sell his house, loose half his assets, usually his kids will live with the Mum as part of the court systems. If he is unhappy he will usually find a side chick and eventually this is what the women finds out and chooses to leave him instead.

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  • To me men are more settlers than women, whether they cop to it or not. It’s been proven that men, even if they have side women, are happier when they have a home and wife to come home to. In every case I’ve seen where the man cheats, he usually lets the wife initiate divorce, maybe as a way to make up their misdeeds and somehow make good with the woman they spent their life with. It’s also an ego/male pride thing, maybe. Unless the wife is a crazed cheating whore or something terrible, I can’t see men being able to leave a wife and admit their marriage fell apart.

    Woman are also more likely to go into a marriage thinking their husbands will either change, be changed or be the man they ideal them to be and when they aren’t (90% of the time), they withdraw and are unhappy and start dissolving the marriage before the paperwork even comes into play, maybe sometimes for years. Try to find happiness in other outlets.

    And, especially in this new era where women are convinced they need to be equals, it sets off a weird dynamic where they could possibly be asserting themselves and feeling like they need to be more in their marriage, which naturally men aren’t accustomed to. They like to feel in charge, that they are providing for their wife and family.

    There’s multitudes of reasons beyond this, like cheating, finances, people that fall out of love, it’s sad there’s more reasons for divorce than to stay married.

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  • Men are more likely to detach emotionally and have an extramartial relationship. Initiating a dicorce entails hefty legal fees, and courts to tend to be biased against men. Just my personal opinion

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  • I think men are attracted to and marry independent woman who don't need them and don't go for the emotional and loving girls that are faithful to them for life so they are more likely to get abandoned later on.

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  • Once a woman reaches her breaking point, she is done. I believe women will try and try again but once they have had enough, they will not go back. I dont believe men have that trait. Also, I think women are more motivated and determined than men in certain ways. If a woman wants a relationship to end, she will make it end - officially. I feel that men just consider it over and move on whether its final or not.

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  • Maybe they are initiating it because something their husband did broke their hearts beyond repair. It makes sense that the one who was wronged would initiate the divorce. Not saying women aren't ever the ones that cheated or broke their husbands hearts either but it is a simple explanation for the study.

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  • There are a lot of reasons. Women are typically more emotion driven than men, so if they feel something is going wrong they won't be able to ignore it as easily. I'm not sure if that's the reason, but it's a possibility

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  • Honestly? I think it’s because men are so reserved in communicating their feelings. Rather than saying wait i think this can work if we... or no i don’t want a divorce, they just let the woman lead. And the women just give up

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  • I think women are more likely to be able to tell if the problems in the marriage can be fixed. If not, they’ll file for a divorce.

    This is also how it went with my parents. My mother had discussed the problems with my father like hundreds of times, but he would never do anything to sort them out (like go to a therapist or something like that). At a certain point my mother decided to give up, and told my father that she wanted to separate.

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  • Because men don't wanna change anything. So often in relationships, this isthe case. If he doesn't like it/ wants something to change, he does squat about it. 🤦 Just saying. That's something I've noticed most men could really improve on.

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  • Maybe because women look st marriages Ina different way. Men are more prone to complacency and getting along with things. Their needs are lesser. I am just guessing here

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    • Sounds about right. Emotional dependency is ironed out right from childhood. Men's emotions are ignored or shamed out.

      Militaries across the world sap the need to feel from recruits by subjecting them to intense physical hardship.

  • I mean men are more likely to cheat than women, so it makes sense that the women would want a divorce.

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    • Most divorces are from financial reasons. Not divorce.

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    • Women cheat more, they just don't get caught.

    • I’m just judging based on the research I did. I don’t know where you guys get your information

  • If the main reason is financial, its because females are becoming more and more high maintenance. They no longer pull through and support their man when times are tough, and they are constantly comparing their partner to their friends' husbands and don't always have their envy and jealousy under control. Obviously not all, but some females really want to live their life and be spoiled and splurged on.
    Although also now more than ever, females are becoming career women, and so maybe the difference in pay is also causing added strife to marriages now. But still, most marriages tend to follow the whole "male is the bread winner"... so if she's not happy with what he can afford, she might think she can get better and divorce him

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  • It may be that women in general have more of a supporting group of family and friends that will help support them in making this decision.

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  • From my experience, and before a bunch of guys on this site jump on me, this doesn't include everyone, men have a harder time admitting to a mistake than women. Women probably file for divorces more because they can see that there is a problem in the marriage, it isn't getting fixed or not possible to fix, so they want to get out. Men would be much happier to just go on like usual until it blows up in their face. That's most likely why women file for divorces much more often.

    Many couples also separate before they actually divorce. Women may find that finality of the papers being signed and the issue being fully resolved more important than the man, who will probably just go along dating or with his seperated life until, once again, a problem arises that needs the divorce to go through. Whether that is a custody, property, or marital issue, it has the same result.

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  • Because men tend to cheat, lie, and become complacent in marriage and to married life and their wives sometimes. A woman can only indure so much

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  • Women probs have less to lose. But at the same time I think men are also more reluctant when it comes to any type of change. Like instead of grabbing life by the balls and admitting that their relationship is dead, that they’ve become emotionally closed off, that they’re not even having sex anymore, that they’re always arguing and that they might need help (therapy/counselling etc), they’d rather deny it all and pretend things are ok. Much like how men in general treat their own emotions and feelings - denial and burial. It seems like women in general are much more eager to try to process and solve these things by talking and going to therapy. But if their man is totally reluctant, what other choice do they have if they’ve exhausted all other options?

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    • You make it sound like men choose to ignore their emotional needs. You'd be surprised how subtly society works to hammer it out of us.

    • @cracklejingle I’m fully aware of the fact that men do it mostly because of societal conditioning.

  • I feel that for men I general, they are more afraid of losing or giving up things more than women are.
    I hear a lot of dudes justify their staying in an unhappy relationship because they either don’t want to lose their money, kids, or wife. They want to have it all and stick it out as long as they can... not because of love. It mainly has to do with self preservation of some kind.
    Women, on the other hand think somewhat emotionally because they’d rather be happy than secure when it comes to marriage

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  • Women have it easier to find someone else
    Women are more emotional and if something is wrong we want to handle
    Most women not all but most get abused by their "men"
    She fell out of love

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    • Lack of communication
      Or married for the wrong reasons in the first place
      Or the husband took the wife for granted and stopped making much effort what does happen in long term relationships and the wife got sick of it and left

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    • No I just made the comment because sometimes there's children involved in a separation and this makes it harder for those women in particular.

    • Oh okay yeah get it

  • We are more emotional... In the sense that even small things upset us or break our hearts...

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What Guys Said 77

  • I have a hypothesis if nothing else. First I'd like to establish that I'm basing this off biology and such which establishes that the female body produces more or at least more powerful hormones than men.

    That fact coupled with the message of almost all disney princess movies over the past few decades of "follow your heart" and "true love's kiss" lead me to think women tend to be more reliant on emotions in a relationship. They find the feeling of "being in love" to be a crucial constant of what they consider a good relationship. If they don't feel in love, the relationship must be bad or at least it's not worth maintaining.

    Again this is my hypothesis and I know I can't really prove it. However, at one time I did a poll on here asking how important people considered "the spark" in a relationship and a lot of people described it as being absolutely crucial. A relationship wasn't worth it without the spark.

    I think because guys aren't so emotionally centered (for better and worse) they don't tend to put quite the same weight into the whole "being in love" concept as a crucial element of a relationship. I think for a lot of guys respect trumps love in the context of a relationship. If they feel respected they feel it's a good relationship, sure they need love but they feel loved when they feel respected so those kind of go hand in hand.

    I think for women respect and love are more distinctly separated. They MUST feel loved and they MUST feel respected, though in some ways I think love trumps respect for women (though that may be presumptuous of me it's just a guess). The problem is that being in love and feeling the spark are based on hormones which are inherently temporary. At the same time they are seen as crucial for women though they are less crucial for men. I don't know if I said that very well but hopefully I got the idea across. At any rate I think that's why women tend to initiate divorces more than men as a general rule.

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    • It is presumptuous of you 🙄😜 ahah
      Nah but seriously, i liked how you worded it, but I don't think anyone can stay in love if they aren't being respected, and so love and respect may separate ideas, but it's more of a triangle I think where you need respect in order to stay in love. Some females may try to keep a relationship going even if they aren't being respected, but the love can't stay forever and they soon give up on the relationship I think.
      And I totally agree with the Disney princess movies and all those Hollywood concepts of love

  • Many reasons. We live in a gynocentric, anti-male society that puts the needs of women first and where bashing men is socially acceptable.

    It's for this reason that most of these women commenting have a gynocentric attitude - in their minds it's always the men's fault. Much of what they believe is false and is reinforced by our gynocentric culture - men being more likely to abuse (not true, roughly 50% of abuse victims are straight men), men can't fix anything, men are more likley to cheat (again not true, this is roughly 50/50). The women in those marriages did everything right, they can do no wrong.

    Then we have the anti-male bias in family and divorce courts. Many women are awarded ridiculous child support and alimony payments, even if they were at fault for the divorce - which, contrary to the opinions of those women I mentioned, can happen. They also get custody of the kids most of the time, and the courts do little to help when the Mothers refuse access to the Fathers. On top of that, single women get welfare assistance, sometimes to the point where they're better off without the man than with him.

    So they have a safety net, in a culture that sees women as angels who can do no wrong - single Mothers, even though they take money from him and from the government, are strong independent heroes that should be admired. The man just has debt and the possibility of not being able to see his children, and the assumption that it was probably all his fault.

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  • 1.) Women have financial incentive to leave their husbands as the court system overwhelmingly favors them over men.

    2.) Women generally show lower rates of satisfaction across the board. Dissatisfaction is the number one reason women file for divorce.

    3.) Pair bonding issues. Women like to think of themselves as men today, and many women really do believe every man is having lots and lots of sex, so they do the same, not realizing that sex is a more emotionally bonding experience for women than it is men.

    I see this all the time. Young women who have sex with a fuckboy, fall in love with him immediately afterwards because her brain release oxycodone (chemical used for bonding), and then the guy leaves her because she was never anything more than a sexual object. That's when women do the whole 'all men are the same bit' and start humping every guy, just like the alpha males, thinking they are getting back at men when really all they are doing is destroying their ability to pair-bond. (I have a lot to say about this as you can tell. Most of my passion on this subject is driven by the feminist movement which denies scientific and biological facts.)

    4.) Socially speaking, it's more acceptable for a woman to leave her husband. All she has to do is paint her husband as the bad guy and everyone will agree that she needs to leave him. With men it's the exact opposite. Even if your wife cheats on you're expected to stay with her. There are even articles written today by women who try to encourage men to be cucks in their relationship and for women to cuck their husbands.

    5.) Some men are just jerks. Yeah, I'm not going to deny it. Some men beat the hell out of their wives and women should be encouraged to leave relationships like this.

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  • simpler reason marriage is seen as something to try. and I am sorry but if you marry someone that is supposed to be for life. "until death do us part" anyone who goes with a divorce should just not get married again period and should stay single forever because clearly they are not even worth the oxygen they steal... I mean breathe. I very reluctantly make the exception for abusive relationships because in reality if you were stupid enough to marry someone who abuses you then you deserve your fate. I know sounds messed up but that is the consequence of making a stupid decision. Growing up my parents said do whatever you want as long as you don't hurt anyone physically you are okay. I stuck my fingers in a toaster when I was a few years old got second degree burns. bet your ass I didn't do that again. When I was eight I stuck my fingers in a fan to stop the blades out of boredom shattered the fan and had a dozen lacerations on my hands. didn't do that again. slammed the door on my fingers being impatient. I started being patient. Flipped my bike doing something stupid. stopped doing stupid stuff on a bike. point is Every time I did something dumb I suffered the consequence for it. For me marriage is final. I am not so unbelievably stupid as to agree to a marriage with someone I won't spend the rest of my life with. that is how it was meant to go. Good or bad sick or healthy rich or poor. that is how marriage is supposed to be.

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    • look folks we have one of those people who are so inept in there lives they see marriage as something to try. down vote away proves me right duh duh durrrrrr.

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    • @kravening not terribly hard to understand a tradition as old as this one. I have met 5 year olds who understand the concept of marriage if they can understand it gotta wonder why adults seem to have trouble. besides the tradition takes a whole 15 seconds to google if one really wants to make sure lol. simple fact is divorce is a back up plan for people who do not know anything about themselves and rush into a marriage because they do not understand how to love another person. because they don't understand what love is.

  • Women are more emotional and more likely to change their mind about almost anything and less likely to take responsibility for anything they do include cheating. It is far easier for a woman to find another partner so they often do and the ex-husband will receive all the blame for them doing so. They also know they will win big time when it comes to divorce and child support which is another incentive.

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  • i have actually done some research in to this... When i was reading about it the top three reasons women wanted divorce were "I am bored in the relationship" "I found someone else and i fell out of love" "I was abused"

    On the top three the third one was less than 15% of the answers. The other two are sad in general, and the men in those situations were caught completely by surprise when they were handed the papers.

    One thing i do see and i find very common.. Women get in to relationships and marriages with men hoping they will change.. Men on the other hand get in to it hoping that things will stay the same..

    I blame it on no fault divorce and the shattering of the family by feminists

    "The complete destruction of traditional marriage and the nuclear family is the 'revolutionary or utopian' goal of feminism" - Kate Millett (prominent feminist)

    "The nuclear family must be destroyed, people must find better ways of living together. What ever its ultimate meaning, the break up of families is now an objectively revolutionary process." Linda Gordon (prominent feminist)

    Need i say more?

    In any case this generation has lost all of its respect for the family, and for relationships, and for marriage.. Which is ultimately bad for every one.

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  • 1. Because pairbonding issues. The bigger their sexual history, the more likely they unattached and will divorce. Too many hoes these days...

    2. Gold diggers.

    3. Cheating/being treated like crap

    4. More benefits for women... fiscally and with kids.

    5. Maybe men just believe in the "til death do us part" more.

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  • Because women are naturally hypergamous and the system caters to them. The minute she's displeased, she can divorce you, take everything you have and try again. Also, she's allowed to do this as many times as she pleases with absolutely no negative consequences. Meanwhile, a man once divorced may as well be a festering leper unless he's filthy stinking rich and otherworldly gorgeous.

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  • Because the laws have become skewed in their favor. A woman can cheat and still get half of the marital assets and spousal support, and probably still get physical custody of the kids unless she is a full on junky.

    Of course as more women get degrees and start earning more than their husbands, and more husbands end up as "house husbands" this will change, at which point the women will push to change these laws.

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  • i imagine because they simply more often than not are the more dissatisfied party in the relationship. there are lot of things we could really dig into (like the far higher rate of women dealing with emotional and physical abuse, typically higher rate of cheating, or being unhappy with the structure of the relationship, etc) but ultimately, and it may seem like a cheap answer, women would appear to be more dissatisfied to the point of feeling like they need to move on

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  • the phrase"happy wife, happy life" comes to mind. no fault divorce laws, which means you can get divorced just bcs u feel like it. its also funny how women who have kids and get divorced get the kids 9/10 times and get to milk their ex for alimony, while also being able to deny the father accsess to his kids.

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  • Because women get much more out of a divorce than men. They get to take half of everything we own, and sre much more likely to get custody of kids even though women are also more likely to abuse thir children. In the USA alone, only 1 in 6 divorces ends up with the male taking custody of kids. If a male divorced they have a lot to lose, but if a woman divorces they have much to gain.

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  • Multiple factors. Some or all may apply to different relations to varying degrees. My answers may seem slightly unfavorable towards women, which is not my intention, but since we are talking about why women walk out of their marriages, I'm highlighting just that.

    Abusive men tend to be physically abusive, whereas abusive women tend to be emotionally abusive. Scars of physical abuse are visible and awareness is spread against tolerating this menace. It is a criminal offence to physically abuse. Emotional abuse leaves no physical scars and most men won't even know they were in an abusive relationship. Why would you leave if there seems nothing wrong with it, right?

    Men tend to be complacent when it comes to relationships. We tend not to have emotional needs cause we've trained (read shamed) to ignore them. So when a woman says their relationship is not fun, most probably the guy will say it's perfect cause you are at a point where you don't need to work on it. We can sit with our best buddy for hours and not speak a word and we'd say we had a great time. Women too have the need to feel desired, respected and heard. And a complacent man will not be providing these in adequate amount. In most cases it's the first and the last one.

    Women are biologically predisposed to take care of kids. Nature alters their hormones and brain physiology to ensure babies are nurtured. Men have no such help, and most are clueless. This is acknowledged by law and society. How? Women have the upper hand when it comes to custody of children. Would you ask for a divorce if you weren't sure your children will be with you? Unless you didn't want them, it's unlikely. Since law favours women in divorce and custody matters, the emotional price is slightly less for women.

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  • I think women tend to marry a guy on his potential. By this I mean he seems like he's headed somewhere with his life, she can see that potential in him. Years pass and that potential has never developed. Things become stagnant and she becomes unhappy.

    The old saying goes " Men marry women hoping that they never change and women marry men hoping that they will change."

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  • Well recently I would have said because women are snakes... But now I think it's because women can let go quicker than men. Most women need constant attention in a lot of ways and if you don't meet the needs of the woman, she will subconsciously or intentionally seek out what she's lacking

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  • Because they stand to gain in 99% of cases.
    Maintinance, especially with children.
    Property, social views...

    Thus unhappy men will stick with it so they don't loose all their possessions, women can leave as soon as they are unhappy and litteraly profit from it.

    The only other reason I can think of is men are more likely to cheat.

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  • Because women don’t know what they want aren’t serious even after marriage.
    They get money at the end of the case which is what most of them got married for. If not it’s because the guy they’re with isn’t enough in one area or another.
    This is why male millennials are single we choose to be.

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  • Most women don't have much to lose, because the courts are on thier side especially if kids are involved.

    Most men will stick it out for fear of losing their shit because the system is against them. It's that simple.

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  • Cuz most girls are selfish and think grass is greener on the other side , it says girls cheat mainly for status , if a guy has a better job makes more money a girl will be turned on to that so she ends up having an affair because she feels the guy with a better job and higher status is the way to go , she ain't nuttin but a gold digger

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  • I feel like... women arnt satisfied with men
    Like they want to live comfortably but get mad when the guy works all the time
    Tho that may not be the case any more sense men and women both seem to work full time jobs for the most part
    I don't know women are mean lolol

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