How can I stop obsessing over someone that I'm trying to move on from?

I've recently ended things with someone that I was really interested in. We had been talking for a lot longer than I had planned and needless to say: I caught some feelings. It's not love exactly, but strong feelings are there.

Long story short: I found out/realized that he was just playing games with me.
And yes, the wound is still fresh, but I'm tired of obsessing over him and checking his profile all the time and still feeling all these feelings. One minute I feel like I'm completely over him and think maybe we can be chill again, the next minute I realize that I'm not and I just wish I'd never met him.

What can I do to try to stop obsessing?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Focus on the reason you broke up. Think about all his shortcomings and the times when he made you miserable. Eat potatoes.

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  • I understand you there, same situation, only the girl in question didn't stop the games even after we stopped the talking.
    She'd "accidentally" be places she know i'd be.
    Something not right with her head.
    What everyone else is saying, stay away from him, don't even look him up.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I had the same problem. Personally I just waited, it was frusterating but patience is key. Probably helped though that I had a dis sesh where me and some friends counted all his flaws and what made him a bad person.
    But that's only what I did.

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  • You gotta cut the um the umbilical cord baby girl. Cut that contact. Stop checking his shit. Block him on everything. Let him play games with himself. Your feelings are ya feelings and they ain't gonna just magically disappear but you're not helping yourself by torturing yourself with keeping tabs on this loser. Only way to start healing is to cut off the dead ends to promote growth. Let him go. Focus on you.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 36

  • Science says it takes one-half of the time you were together to start to feel okay again after you're separated. My only advice is stay away from mind-altering substances, including caffeine, and don't watch people on livecam websites and apps or get emotionally attached to anyone over the internet or text/phone. The lack of personal, one-on-one interaction will leave you more disappointed, heartbroken, agitated and filled with anxiety.

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  • What happened? I have a lot of experience with dealing with obsessive thoughts (personal- i am not a professional but have acquired some tools) , but it's hard to suggest anything if i dont have a general idea what you are talking about

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  • Just put more time and energy into other interests. If you're boring and don't currently have other interests, make some up! Fake it until you make it! Chances are you'll make a few friends along the way for real. Don't hesitate!

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  • Well I can say I am struggling with that as well. The heart is a hard thing to deal with and the best thing to do as corny as it may sound is time heals all wounds and look else where to occupie ur attention to. Even if it's nothing serious more u focus on something or someone else it will eventually fade away. Like everything else does in time

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  • The only thing that will really help u is when u keep ur mind busy with productive things either start some kind of exercise regime or involve urself with some kinda creative process which not only tires u physically but mentally as well. Basically u should have no time to even entertain a thought about him. See the magic work for you. Ull be i over him in a jiffy

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  • Contact Diesel (me) he can show you how... i mean.. he just went for 6 years... rewriting the game... so guys...(and gals) can get what they want out of a relationship... rewrote the game.

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  • You can't move on today. Eventually you'll forget him. But now I'm sorry but no. You're going to think about him even though you know that he is not good for you. But it will last for a while. After that you'll be fine

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  • You gotta put your self out there to meet new people and have fun. I'm going through the same thing. When I feel like I still want to see her I go beat on my car and have fun. Try going to the club or a blind date.

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  • go look for someome better just yesterday my girlfriend broke up with me because of our long distance and so i understand exactly what ur going through rn i feel the same way as we speak and i found that looking for and meeting new people helps a lot

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  • The best option is to fight it. Delete everything that has a connection to him. It's gonna take a lot of time and it's gonna be really hard, but in some time, you'll lose those feelings

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  • Your Mind is still totally with that guy only , as may be you have a very strong feelings for him u r not able to forget him & wen you r trying so the memories will not let u stop obsessed him as u both have spended a Gud time together , I would suggest u to do something that u like the most which can take ur attention from that guy & u can b normal again

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  • You block his profiles, delete all contact information and find something or someone new you can put time and attention into, over time you'll forget about that person who was ruling your life before

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  • I'm in the exact same situation, I miss my ex girlfriend and still love her, but she said she'd never be able to love me again, there's really no perfect thing to do, all you can do is try your best to avoid thinking of him, do activities you like (in my case gaming), where you need to focus on a diffrent task so he won't pop up in your head. When you do think of him then force yourself to think of other things you like. If you're more outgoing then spend time outside with friends, and just focus on keeping yourself as distracted as possible.
    Absolutely avoid dating or seeking someone new, you need time to get over your ex first before you should consider starting a new relationship.
    It will hurt, it will take time, but slowly you'll start feeling a bit better, even if it takes a while.

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  • Avoid those thoughts, think about something else. Can't do more than that and time needs to pass so it gets old.
    If you would find another crush might help also...

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  • I'm having a difficult time as well trying to get over someone. Cutting off ALL contact (don't look him up on social media or anything), keep yourself busy and distracted and socialize. If not someone new, go out with friends or family. I find I'm worse if I'm sitting at home doing nothing. And I think it just takes time and that time frame varies from person to person. It's been months for me and I'm still struggling... but it's slowly getting better. But I also have trouble finding things to keep me distracted as well, which doesn't help.

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  • As other's on here have said, block him, it will help keep you from checking up on him constantly and seeing those things that cause the pain. I'd also suggest finding a way to keep your mind occupied/distracted, whether that be hanging out with friends, talking to new people, playing video games, or volunteering some place, you need something that will keep your mind off of him. Other than that, it just takes time, which I realize sucks, but it's true.

    (Loads of experience with break ups, being cheated on, and a failed engagement)

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    • 7d

      Trying to move on as well. How long til you were able to move on from a serious long term relationship?

    • 7d

      My fiance leaving me hit me pretty hard, realistically it took me a couple of years til I was really over her. Been single ever since though, can't seem to bring myself to put myself out there anymore.

  • You're feelings for him will disappear soon enough. Stop checking his profile, don't think about him, and find someone who is better worth your time.

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  • It happens just give time to heal yourself. Talk to your friends, meet new people, do what you love to do. Love yourself.

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  • Focus on their negative points. At least that's how no moved on from mine.

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  • Move your focus on something else every time u think of them

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What Girls Said 13

  • Talk to other guys to distract your mind away from him. Even if they aren't great. They're still guys to talk to. Drop them and find a new one every so often to keep it fresh and keep feelings out. Unless you want your feelings to transfer, then try to find a new guy.

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    • 7d

      I'm not interested in meeting anybody, just want to get over this person. But yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

  • Sorry this happened! It happens to the best of us!
    You shouldn't want to be with a guy who doesn't want to be with you basically.

    Keep yourself busy!
    Be productive, try a new hobby! Go shopping! Get a new guy and make him jealous!

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  • I was like that once. What I did was I just acted as if I was over him and then my feelings caught up with me afterwards, but that was in public. Other behavioral changes I made were to stop looking at him if I saw him around school, and to distract myself by hanging out with my friends and making up lots of little fake dramatic action movies in my head.

    That's just what I did, you can take from that or you can do your own thing but I am just sharing my personal experiences here.

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  • I would honestly block him so I’m not tempted to look up his profile and see if he’s talking with any other females. Out of site, out of mind.

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  • Indeed i knew it well how it feels like. Obsessing about someone eventhough we already know what kind of person is he.. i think the only best way is manage yourself. Control your curiosity on him, even after that you're still tryin to catch up things about him. Just remember. Is it worth it? Does all of this things about him, worth for you? I know it'll feel bitter but trust me even if thought about him still hang around your mind, but your being will stop tryin.. cause you know you deserve to find better one.
    Its just my opinion.. :)

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  • Hello darling! These are just my suggestions so it might not work for all people. Moving on from someone is hard but I know you can do it!

    1. DONT STALK HIS SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS. The trick is to distract your mind away from him. Checking up on his accounts will make you think more about him, making the moving on process harder to do.

    2. Meet other people, hang out with your friends, meet different kinds of people, etc.

    3. Keep yourself busy. If you're occupied with something, your mind will be focused on the task and you won't be able to think about this dude. Distract your mind.

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  • Maybe try hanging out with different people? Or try your best to avoid him. That may help.

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  • Block him on everything and find distractions

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  • Distract yourself. Do something new.

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  • vidyagamez

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  • Stop taking their phone calls

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  • Been there! First of all you need to stop checking any of his social media unfollow him if required! Next focus on you! Watch some movies go out it’s your friends do something that keeps you busy! It will hurt for a while but the only way you can get over him is you distance him as much as possible! If you have the urge to check as to what he’s up divert your mind !

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  • If he doesn’t talk to you, you don’t talk to him

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