Is this a horrible time for a break up?

I've been with this girl 2 years this Thursday, but I haven't been as happy as I could be in the relationship for a while. We had a fight about breaking up in May which ended with her saying NO we aren't. And that's pretty much what happened, we stayed together until now. Except I'm equally unhappy.

I basically don't want to seem cold and viewed as a bad guy for breaking up with her at the same time as our anniversary and Christmas. Also, after Christmas won't be a great time either because her family is going on vacation for a month which means her support system won't be as good.

I sort of feel like she's heavily dependent on me, which just adds another level of hesitation. I haven't been seeing her as much lately, and there's definitely distance between us. We fight because there isn't much we have in common, and generally I just get annoyed when I"m with her. The problem is she is 100% sure that we'll get married, move in together, have kids, ALL THAT. I don't know what to say to let her know how I"m feeling without destroying how everyone we know views me. Any help would be appreciated, and I can add details if you have questions for clarification.


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What Girls Said 1

  • You just have to do it, cause the longer you wait the more reasons you will find to hold off longer. It will never be easy, no matter when you do it. You just have to think of it this way, by waiting you are cheating her out of time she could be spending to find someone who is happy to be with her.

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What Guys Said 1

  • you need to remember that for a relationship to work, both people need to be happy and willing. you can't base everything off of one person wanting to stay and the other being miserable. and if you're not happy, you have no obligation to stay with her.

    now to lessen the blow of how blunt that last statement was, some advice:

    you need to tell her what's going on. it's that simple. and you shouldn't be nervous about what time of the year it is or what's coming up, sure it may make you LOOK like the bad guy, but ultimately you're not. if a relationship isn't working than trying to build on that will only lead to disaster. just think about that for a second. if you did end up getting married like she wants and end up having kids, then what kind of household are those kids going to be brought up in, if you're unhappy, its gonna show. now obviously that's a worst case scenario, but you really shouldn't be hesitant if you've been unhappy this long. if this was just an arguement out of the blue, I would say give it a week. but it seems like you've given it longer than that.

    i can't tell you how or when to break up with her but I can tell you that after it happens, DO NOT GO BACK. if she still wants to be friends then fine, give her that. but if you ever think that maybe she's changed and she asks for a second chance, 99% chance its going to be the same thing over again. you just need to be strong and tell yourself that she found a way to live before you came along, and she will find a way after you're gone as well.

    even if she doesn't want to

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