My ex got angry at me and I'd like help understanding why, since she wanted to be friends?


I’d really appreciate some understanding behind the behavior here. I saw my ex for the first time in months and months the other night. She was out celebrating her birthday, and I was out celebrating a friend’s birthday.

The background is, she cheated on me with a guy, and then shortly after I forgave her, she dumped me. I was left completely devastated for so long, I’ve never experienced anything like it. On the flip-side, over a year ago now, I kissed another girl and told her and after being forgiven - did a lot to make it up to her.

My ex saw me the other night whilst the girl I kissed so long ago was with us . She happens to have a boyfriend now and we are really good friends so I can’t see why she’d have reason to be jealous of us? But she stormed off. I followed her to try and speak but she was speaking horrible to me.

I told her all I wanted to do was to say hello and have a bit of a dance for old times sake. After all, she wanted to be friends and has been messaging me from time to time.

Was I in the wrong? What else could I have done?

I can honestly say, if she was with any guy there, I’d have been happy for her... and just happy to be friendly for old times’ sake.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's just jealousy. Most girls want to be every guy's #1, despite what our relationship to them is. Once they find out that you put someone above them on your list we get insane jealousy. She is probably just jealous and infuriated that you dared to put someone else above her.

    It's not your fault at all. You can do what you want - she wanted to cheat, it was her decision. She doesn't have any right to get jealous and shout at you for it.

    I get jealous for the weirdest reasons - sometimes I get jealous of people that I've never even dated! "Why does he like HER and not ME!?" That sort of thing. It's a natural emotion that comes with the territory I think.

    • Thank you for your advice - what you said does seem to make sense. However I don't like the fact she's angry at me for something I haven't done wrong. Will she speak to me again?

    • I can't say for sure - it depends on what sort of a girl she is. If she's in any way logical she should speak to you again but if she's overly emotional and allows them to control her, I'd say the chances are slimmer that she'd act the same way towards you.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Just cause it seems like someone shouldn't have a reason to be jealous doesn't mean they won't be. This is why its not a good idea to be friends with an ex, there are still feelings there and its will just get messy. Give her space and try to move past everything.

  • I honestly think it's natural for her to feel a little jealous. I don't agree with the way she handled it though. If I saw one of my exs with a new girl I might be a little jealous too even if I was completely over them. That being said I don't even know if it is possible to ever be completely 100% over someone. It's hard for me to say if she still has feelings for you but I would just ignore it for now. If she wants to talk to you about it she will.

    • Thanks for your advice. Lately I've been getting down about what she said - "that all her feelings have been blown away for me" even though she sent me that on the night when she was drunk.. it still hurts. Do you think it would be something worth bringing up?

    • I would just leave it. Like you said, she was drunk and sorry to say but she probably just wants to forget about it. If it's really bugging you then bring it up I guess if you think it will make you feel better but don't expect a good response.

  • She sounds like a jealous hypocrite


What Guys Said 2

  • Jealousy is what it says, jea-lousy, yea, lousy!

    Possessiveness is not love, the two get in the way

    throw out your possessiveness and see if there is love left, then live on

  • she still likes you buddy way to go mate


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