How to act in a situation like this?

hi all,

i've been in a relatioship with my boyfriend for almost 9 years. in the spring, he started cheating on me with a co-worker and we split up for 4 months. There was a lot of pain combined with terrible fights at the end. One month and a half ago, he came back asking for another chance. I've decided to try but I have some doubts related to his behaviors. He's still working with his ex and has constant contact with her. She calling him and gives him text messages. He is going out with his coworkers and she's with him. Sometimes he doesn't call back when he says to and he never commits 100% for doing things together. He says he loves me but he doesn't want to hurry and risk that we'll get back in the same situation. I feel need for certainty ...basically, I don't know if he's still dating the other woman and it bother me that he doesn't show the commitment I want to work this out :( any piece of advice is appreciated


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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm with Nomadia. If my wife cheated on me I would never take her back. That is the lowest of things you can do besides physical abuse and there is no second chances.


What Girls Said 1

  • sweet heart the only thing a guy like that regerts is the fact that that you caught him. if he really wanted you back he would have broken all contact with that woman. I thnk he was doing it all the time you were together and you never knew. that one of the reasons prefer older men they know what they want and they are done with games. anyways if was willing to cheat after so long then who is to say 5 or even 8 years down the line he won't. the fact that he won't break contact says that he is not ready to commit as he thought. who knows how many people he screwed for that 4 months. they say love is blind but you need to open your eyes this is your life we're talking about. in the end you are the one who has to be with him you alone can answer your question. can you still be with him knowing what he did can you trust him again to not do this? it doesn't matter how much you want something it take two to make a relationship work and if its a one sided efort it will never work. if there is no trust, no honesty then no amount of love in the world can save your relationship for this is the foundation that love is built on


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