Should I leave him alone or keep trying?

He's been distant ever since I said we should just be friends (he knows I want to be with him, but we couldn't figure out how it could work...which is why I chose friendship). I kept contacting him in the beginning and he started to ignore my messages and even canceled on me. I've stopped and we've communicated a couple times since (usually regarding something I can help him with). I miss him a lot, though, and want him back in my life. I realize things can't be how they were, but I hate not feeling close to him anymore. I know I can't have everything I want and I want to respect his feelings so what should I do? Should I continue to give him his space even though that means our friendship staying the way it is now or should I try to seek him out more? If there is a way to casually start talking to him more then I would love that. I miss him a lot and it's unbearable at times. I really do need brutal honestly, because I'm a mess and I've been more irrational than ever before.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He's trying to move on at that point, I believe. He may still have feelings for you but realizes that things may not be able to return to the way they were in the beginning. Being friends with an ex is a very difficult thing, since there's the whole awkwardness of it and the fact that possibly either one (or both) of you still have feelings for each other.

    Sit down and sort out your thoughts first. What do you really want from this guy? Do you want to just be friends or do you want something more? Once you're able to figure that out, act accordingly and be ready for whatever comes your way.

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    • Thanks for the advice! I want to just be friends right now so I guess I have to live with the consequences of us not being close again. :(

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think you need to give him his space. Unless you decide you want to be with him as more than just friends, just give him time to himself. He probably is upset and hurt and being friends with someone during that time is hard. So just wait for him to contact you when he is ready. I know it's hard for you but it's the best thing you can do. I'm sure he does want to hear from you but it's for the wrong reasons and it's just leading him on if you just want to be friends.

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    • Thanks for the reply! I do just want to be friends right now as it'll be too complicated otherwise. I'll work on leaving him alone even though it means we'll probably never have a close relationship again. :(

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