Why would a guy end things right before xmas?

Granted, we live cross-country but were together before I moved out there.

We talked weekly even though we weren't together and would talk about hooking up and doing new years together when I came home for break.

Now he's ended it a week before I get back, and says the distance means we can't ever work. I'm like...why didn't you wait until AFTER we had fun this break? He's not dating anyone else...

Why can't he just chill out and keep his mind open about things? that way we can at least have some fun while I'm home

Updates:
Note: We arent' even together I was just hoping to be friends with benefits while I was home for the holidays!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I am not going to pretend your ex is not a sh*t headed jerk, sorry I am just not.

    HONESTLY, no decent, mature gentleman would EVER do this to a girl. EVER. Even if his girlfriend was Paris Hilton. That is just low and cowardly of a guy, as if intentionally trying to ruin a poor girl's holidays. And I am sick of how such guys can do this to girls like you and you are the ones who cry, ponder through sleepless nights and strive to get back while they are too busy being an ass.

    You should be happy you finally saw how low this guy really is. Thank GOD you didn't end up marrying this jerk or something. We run into sh*theads every day. Be thankful and optimistic on seeing this side of him, and move ON. Jerks are not worth your importance or time. He is a cowardly little girl who is not man enough to treat a girl like she should be at least treated.

    Don't just DON'T even try to get back with him, don't even be friends with such a low shallow no lifer, I assure you, what he did to you is a horrible thing to do. You have seen what you needed to see about him, his true face. I will tell you what I tell to all the people who randomly get dumped in an offensive manner, don't even look at his face again. Express your hatred for his low act through a message and end it. You should NOT care about him anymore, avoid even mentioning his name. Wake up, he has already done what he wanted to, and you are NOT his personal door mat/toy. When you ignore him and block him from your life, he will feel guilty. And if he ever comes running back, get him out of your way.

    You deserve better, and you have a whole future ahead of you, don't let such jerks get in your way and get you down. Trust me and take my word. You have a fresh start in life, CONGRATULATIONS.

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    • well... here's the thing. We aren't really together... we were just keeping it open to see what would happen when I came home over the holidays (I live on the other side of the country). You still think he's an ass?

    • Well that's what I am trying to tell you. He has literally 'broken up' with you even before you could begin, and before festivity is the WORST time to call it quits. He is not even welcoming you to be a freaking FRIEND anymore, it shows the insensitivity of this guy.

      And the sad part is you dwell on him as if he will magically be your best friend and have a ball with you this Christmas. REALIZE that what you demand, cannot happen due to him being a complete JERK

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Maybe you should ask this guy link

    I think the answers on that question will help you.

    Sorry to hear about that. Keep your head up.

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    • i read that but I think mine is a different circumstance! we aren't really together and we live cross-country! I'm just wondering why he doesn't want to be Friends with benefits while I'm home?

    • Show All
    • really? Sorry if I'm being in denial about this- and please tell me if I am. But he had a really hard time with me leaving...when I moved away we were both crying and upset. Is it possible that he doesn't want to get attached again? because he knows it can't last because of the distance?

    • Out of sight out of mind really. Sometimes when it feels like, "work" it's notlonger fun and not worth it. Is he scared of the distance? No the distance is why it's not worth the effort. Think about it. You'll want the same thing to happen the next time you come back. Is there ever a right time to stop seeing someone? hmmm

  • This question here pretty much has a ton of answers as to why a guy/girl should break-up prior the holidays:

    link

    Sorry to hear about what happened.

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    • Yeah, I read that. I think ours is more weird since I live literally cross-country so we know we can't be together and I'm not planning on moving back to where he lives. But why couldn't he have just put his feelings on the back burner and just enjoyed hooking up with me while I'm home. We aren't really together anyways!

  • He doesn't want to buy you an Xmas present.

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    • haha we weren't together! we are exes, who have been keepin the spark alive while I'm away... he says he's worried that if we see each other we will have sex and that will complicate things emotionally.

What Girls Said 4

  • To me it sounds like he's already made his mind up. If he couldn't wait a week to see you do you think he fully deserves you and your time? In my opinion I think you should just enjoy your break and not even worry about him. If he approaches you to hang out and you want to then go but keep yourself back a little until you both have fully worked out your issues and know what his intentions are.

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  • There are several reasons why he could have broken up with you. Its sad but its hard to say without knowing this guy.

    One reason that is extremely shallow is that he could be stingy and just not want to have to deal with all the financial implications that are entailed with a relationship during the holidays. Some guys, if they aren't that invested in the relationship end it before they have to put money down for the girl.

    Another reason is that he just lost whatever attraction he had for you. It's sad, but it's not really fair for him to be stuck in a relationship he doesn't want.

    I'm sorry for your loss but remember that he is not the only guy out there. You are meant to be with someone, and you will find him. Plus now you can party with your friends for the holidays and not have to devote your time to one person,

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  • Some people are all about "me, me, me" and don't care about others feelings. I had a friend who got dumped right before last X-mas too and she felt crappy too. Some people are just like that I guess.

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  • why would you want to date him any longer knowing that he's not into you? better to do it sooner

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    • honestly, I think he is into me. I think he "ended" things because he doesn't want to get attached to me again right before I leave knowing we can't be together in the long run

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