How do you break up with the nicest person you have ever met?

I don't know how to tell the guy that I am with that he is just not my bag of chips.

He is adored by my two children, my whole family and taboot he is a DOCTOR! What else could a girl ask for?

However, I am miserable because I am not in love with him. I love him but not that way. How do I do this?

Please help!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Look staying with this guy is torture for you both. Although he may not know it you're hurting both of you by just sitting by and slowly dragging your feet through your relationship of misery. When you started the relationship it wasn't about your family's approval or your kids happiness or content with a guy, it was about you being happy.Don't force him to stay in a relationship that won't go anywhere because you are trying to make sure everyone else in your family enjoys life! Get out, let him be with someone who deserves his time, love and effort. And you do the same. Just talk to your kids about it first and try to get their approval, and hell if they will miss him too much (and it won't be weird) let him come around to see them after you two end things. But if he is truly the nicest person that you know then why would you allow yourself to contain him for no reason? Don't lead him on any longer, I know it'll be difficult but just step up and have the "hardest conversation" of your life and end things.

    P.S. don't do it in public or places that you two had a great time. It's even more emotionally damaging. And once you've made up your mind, don't for any reason, back pedal.

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What Guys Said 6

  • I think I have read this script before or already watched this movie. Let me guess the next post: "I saw him with another woman and I don't know what to do as I think I may have serious feelings for him...I miss him so much" Good luck, but I forsee you not being happy with most other men as they will not be as good as he was in the important departments, read how they treat you. What is it with you women and not wanting to marry the "best friend" type? I would totally drop anybody I am with for the one that got away that I deemed "best friend". She is a million miles away (it seems) and there is no shot for us. But here you have him in your grasp and let him get away. I hope you don't regret it someday...but I fear you will. Again, good luck and I do hope it works out for the best.

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  • I'm a dude and I'm almost in love with this guy already. If you feel it's not going to work out, the best thing is to just sit him down and tell him. I'm sorry you feel that he's not your one. :(

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  • wow thats meaaaan. of u ofc. ;) ive broke up with really nice girls before and it always hurts them the most. just tell him u dont want to go that route but stay friends if thats possible. dont go breaking his heaaart.

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  • He won't take it very well I'm guessing. But sometimes just being honest and blunt about it is the best thing to do.

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  • Just learn to love him. Like everyone else:)

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What Girls Said 2

  • must you do it? have you weighed all your options? do you think that you will genuinely be happier without him? how will it affect your children? this is a big step and you have to consider all your options especially considering that there is not maltreatment, there is financial stability and you do love him.

    now if you have thoroughly thought about these questions and you know for certain that you won't regret it, then you have now put yourself in the right state of mind to give him the news because you know it is for the best. you must sit him down and have the courage to tell him face to face because he deserves that from u. once its done its done you just have to built up your strength for those few moments when the words have to come out and then the conversation will take its course effortlessly.

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    • Thanks Lisa.

      To answer some of your questions, Yes... I have to do it. He knows that I am unhappy. He asks all the time and I have been using the excuse that I am sad (because my mom just passed away 8 months ago) I have weighed all of my options and to me, it only makes sense to be happy since life is so short. He is more of "best friend" material to me than a lover. We never have sex and I need that but I can't do it with someone I don't want to have sex with. Does that make sense?

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    • Hi,

      Well... Like I said he senses something and yesterday, he spoke with me telling me that he knows that I am not happy and he moved out. I can't believe that I was that obvious and I am not sure how I feel about it all. I miss him so much already. Maybe I just need some time. Anyhow, thanks for your advice. Merry Christmas!

    • merry Christmas to you too. wow I'm in shock though..cant believe he moved out without complaint. well goodluck with everything and enjoy the holidays.

  • By acknowledging that not breaking up with him is not so nice. It is not fair to be with a guy if you don't love him & desire a relationship with him. He desserves better, just tell him the truth, in a nice way.

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    • Thank you and you are right. However, I didn't need to do that because he moved out last weekend cause he could "feel somethings wrong". So now I suppose I have to just wait and let time take its course.

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