We're going to college. Should I end things now?

So I'm a senior in high school, and I've been dating this guy for a few months. Things are going really well. Like, unbelievably well, and I feel like this could last. Normally my relationships always have some fatal flaw that I can detect from the beginning, but in this one there is nothing. This guy is like my best friend.

The thing is, we've both applied to colleges and we're going to be getting our letters of acceptance/rejection back pretty soon. Before applying, we decided to make our college decisions without letting the other person's decisions influence us, but we ended up applying to three of the same schools by coincidence, one of which is a pretty likely chance of acceptance and enrollment for the both of us.

Frankly, I'm concerned. I don't think either of us should base our college decision on the other person--that would be silly and ridiculous. The thing is, if it turns out that we're going to different schools, I'd want to end things. But if I let it drag on for another few months until its time to pack our bags, aren't I just getting myself in deeper only to hurt myself more later? Wouldn't it be better just to end it now and save myself extra pain?

My second thought is, if we even do end up going to the same place, will it work? We live two hours away and only see each other on the weekends. At college, we'd see each other every day. Would that change things? If it would, should I end it now?

Thanks guys. I appreciate it.


Most Helpful Girl

  • From the sounds of it, the relationship seems pretty good. I wouldn't end it now. I get the whole going off to college thing, its a big change, but that doesn't mean that everything between you will change. Make your decision on your choice of college now and write it down (if you haven't already) and don't let it change because of where he is going.

    If you go to the same school, seeing each other every day would hopefully make things better, not worse! It may change things in the sense that you'll become closer and possibly have more little arguments and such, but if you really like this guy, its definitely worth it.

    Also, if you're already used to the long distance thing then going off to seperate colleges shouldn't be all that bad, as long as he is not super super far.

    College is really exciting and you meet a lot of new people, so if you do stay together, just be sure not to miss out on exposing yourself to new friends. If you guys are able to maintain a healthy balance between friends and each other then you can really make the relationship work!

    At the end of the day though, go with your gut feeling. If you feel like you're unsure of how much you like him/are willing to give up for him, then and some point you'll have to break up with him anyway, so may as well do it now.

    On the other hand, if this is purely about coping with the change of college and dealing with the distance, I wouldn't give up a perfectly good relationship just yet. Enjoy the time you have. If it so happens that it's not working at college, then break it off. Break ups tend to be easier in college because there's so many things to distract you. (in my opinion) Plus, if you aren't at the same college as him, it will be easier to break up.


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